To think some people mistake consistency for love?

[KindAmberHawk]

Just because someone shows up every day doesn’t mean they’re loving, it just means they’re there. Sometimes we accept the rhythm of someone’s presence as proof of something deeper.

I think far too many people are too willing to bin a working relationship because it’s not perfect, or because it doesn’t follow the intensity/unrealisticness of a romance novel. I think if you’re not mismatched, miserable or fighting in any way then you’re probably in a good enough relationship especially if kids are involved, and binning it for the possibility of Jorge the ripped Brazilian marine astronaut doctor with a PhD in sex is a bit silly, especially if you’re more of a Deidre than a Desiderata.

I think being there is the basic prerequisite for a loving relatinship - being consistently there, through the good times and bad. Time alone is the true measure, but consistently being there is a good foundation block to a lasting relationship.

“Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.
I’d wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he’d call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,
Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love’s austere and lonely offices?”

Or, perhaps sometimes it’s exactly the quiet, endless consistency and commitment, in the face of that often going unappreciated, which defines love above grander and more extroverted gestures.

No. I disagree OP. Ask yourself what motivates such behaviour? Is it really just "force of habit"? In a few cases maybe, but by no means all.

Love takes many forms. All are precious.

Films and social media have filled our heads with romantic nonsense. Treasure what you have.

I think consistently showing up IS love, it might not be roses, it might not be what you want - but it's still a show of love.

Consistency is different to indifference or path of least resistance.

I hear "consistency" as daily and continued demonstration of affection through actions.

i would take consistent loving actions over butterflies in my stomach, chocolates in my stomach and empty words any day of the week....

I depends on what they do while they're there, I think. If they're not caring, then simply being there consistently isn't enough. If they consistently contribute something to your life, support you emotionally and through small, easily overlooked acts of care, that's the bedrock of true love.

Gosh it’s been a while!

More people mistake lust for love.

I disagree. Quiet consistency and reliability is a massive feature of stable love.

The insistence of fuss and lOvE laNgUaGe is far worse and not a predictor of love. And ruins many a potentially great love.