Cant take much more

[Shootingstar1111]

I posted a few weeks ago about my ex refusing to acknowledge the end of our relationship. We were together 9 years and have a mortgage and a child.
It was a toxic and controlling relationship and I should have left him many years ago but due to his threats I was always too afraid to, the way i saw it was that he would make it worse by not being with him.

The last 8 weeks have been hell. Constantly calling me - 53 calls in less than 20 minutes one day, messages, voicemails, voice notes etc.. He left flowers on my doorstep on 2 occasions. He bought an engagement ring to try a lure me back. At the same time he alternates between crying hysterically saying I have ruined his life, then threatening me and saying he will take my son away as i don't deserve to have him if im willing to 'sacrifice' his family.

I have repeatedly asked him to leave me alone yet he won't.

I went to the police and loged it but asked them to hold back on acting as I was worried about him losing his job and also i was hopeful that a letter of warning from the solicitors would help but it hasnt.

I am in the process of trying to buy him out as he gave me a number he would accept, now he's saying he won't. He keeps refusing to see son in order to prevent me making plans or going out. I was meant to be going out tonight (planned weeks ago) ow he has refused to have son because he doesn't want me being able to go out.

I have contacted the police again and asked them to act.

I feel sick all the time, im drained and tearful.

Has anyone been through this?

As Churchill said - when you're going through Hell keep going.

Remember this will come to an end. Come on here and offload, keep on with the Police and get some legal advice to force the house sale.

Have you got support in real life from family and friends? Go and stay with someone for a couple of days to get a break?

You can’t make him have your child so it’s probably best to assume he won’t. I’d also get all of his contact to go through a third party, a solicitor is ideal if you can afford it.

My ex husband did similar shit when our marriage was ending.
The absolute peak moment was when he sat drinking JD in our conservatory, snotty and in tears, whilst listening to Evanescence ’Bring me to life’, and mouthing the words.

After being financially abusive, he bought me horrendously expensive clothing, then threatened to cut it all up.
I handed him the scissors.

It is exhausting, but it is temporary.
Keep going.

One day you may be able to have a perfectly sensible coparenting relationship.
We do!

I will keep you in my thoughts.