How long did it take for you to divorce?

[Globules]

My friend has been separated for 25 years after her 12 year marriage.

She's had 1 partner for 18 months in that time.

XH has been with his partner for over 20 years.

They've still not got divorced.

For me, I put the divorce paperwork through 3 months after XH and I separated. Pushed the button on the absolute as soon as the house sale completed.

I can't understand her thinking to remain married. Her reason is "I can't be bothered" and she said he feels the same. I've told her about the legal implications of remaining married, but it still isn't enough for her to legally divorce.

How long did it take for you to legally divorce after you separated? AIBU to think that you should be divorced by year 5 at the most after the separation?

I applied about 8 weeks post separation and the divorce was finalised about 14 months later. It could have been sooner but I faffed around a bit sorting the financial order.

I applied 6 months after we separated it took 5 years as ExH just failed to engage.

I started divorce proceedings in March 2020. It was over and done with by January 2021. It felt painfully slow at the time but I realise now that it was actually pretty quick.

STBExH and I separated in April, financial order was signed a month ago, house is on the market and the final paperwork will be filed asap, I think my solicitor said it needed to be done a full year after the separation date. I've got a note in my diary to do this as soon as it can be. We have young kids and are in Scotland, so thats why its taking so long

Why draw it out longer than it needs to be?!!!

Think I read the post wrong 🤦🏻‍♂️ my ex husband and I separated in September 2019, and I started the divorce process in 2020 (there was a reason why I waited a few months to do so, but I don't want to go into detail here) and we were divorced in January 2021.

I saw a lawyer and started the process as soon as I realised he was cheating. Pushed it through as quickly as I could from my end. It took longer than necessary because a/ he fucked off to the OW’s house and wouldn’t give anyone his address so paperwork took an age, b/ 25 years of financial marriage enmeshment takes time to untangle, and c/ Covid got in the way. So 18 months all in.

I filed for divorce but it took over a year to go through. My ex husband refused to sign the paperwork and the solicitors had to get a private detective involved. Got there in the end.

Not as long as your friend has been, but exH and I have been separated now for twice as long as the time we were married. Neither of us feel particularly bothered about the official side of it, but we'll get the paperwork done at some point, possibly when DC finish school (only a few more years of that left). We're both happy being each other's NOK, and we want to inherit each other's assets (which are not much) if one of us dies, to support the raising of DC. If exH was an arsehole, or unfair, or vindictive I would have been more motivated, but we've got a good, sibling-like relationship these days. I don't really think about the fact that we are technically married, it doesn't matter that much.

Got it done pretty quickly, my ex wife was demanding solicitors details almost as soon as I had left.

Despite it being done very quickly - about 5 months, she them moved her new partner in within 3 days of saying she had no intention to remarry or cohabit and didnt understand that she had wrecked the settlement so it dragged on another 6 months or so

Needless to say most peoples view of the divorce went from it being unfortunate to 'No wonder you left' even her family were decidedly unimpressed.

Took me 3 years. Messy divorce due to financials.

It depends where you are, to be honest.
I am in Scotland and you need the child arrangements sorted before divorce can be granted. And you are supposed to also have the financial arrangements sorted. So if you have an ex-spouse not engaging or stalling or whatever, it can take years and cost £££££s.
i won’t be getting married again, even when i finally get divorced.

4 months to be fully divorced I didn't want to wait

I did not know this.

How annoying that you have to go at their pace.

I hope you get there soon.

6 and a half years and counting. Hopefully only 3 weeks to go.

About 18 months, it would have been quicker but XH messed around and refused to send in required paperwork, financial statements etc.

Was married nearly 20 years , divorce from start to finish took just 6 months .

I applied a year after I left him.

Separated 2 months. Waited until after Christmas to start divorce. 16 weeks later we were divorced after a 21 year marriage.

Used the 2 months to agree childcare arrangements and financial separation. Offered 50/50 , no pension sharing and it wasn't managed via a solicitor. I did it myself.

I was chief wage earner with a good pension. I was also chief childcare and kept the house, paying him off and increasing the mortgage to do so. Do I think a solicitor would have got me more...nope. Would it have become acrimonious..yes. Would it have dragged on...yes. Regrets? None.

Any woman who becomes financially dependent on her spouse wouldn't be able to move so quick. I was so grateful for my career.

Separated just before Christmas 2020, filed for divorce January 2023. Divorce came through January 2024. I bought my exh out of the house and wanted to wait til our fixed term ended in October 2023 before remortgaging.

My exh cheated on me. I couldn't bare to be married to him a moment longer than I had too. I divorced him first against advice from my own solicitor in 5 months then sorted finances out after.

Wow. Respect.

Children involved?