To wish he treated me just a little bit worse?

[Dunnowhatimat]

Yes, I know I sound like a psycho. There's (mundane but possibly relevant) backstory but I just want to know if anyone has ever been in the position of being treated badly but not enough to make u leave, but not alright enough to make u feel happy, and there's a part of you that wishes you'd just be treated that little bit worse so you'd feel justified leaving? And if so what u did and how u managed whatever your decision was.
Thanks

I can’t comment on your daughter and her meds but I can 100% comment on your God. No god would want someone to live in misery. To what end would they want that? Just because someone was good once but have now become awful, to what end, for what reason or purpose would god want you to stay? How would that be honouring your god?

I used to feel exactly the same. I used to wish my husband would cheat on me so I could leave. In the end I left anyway as I realised I couldn’t live another year feeling so miserable let alone another 5. It was the best decision I’ve ever made and I’ve never felt so happy or empowered x

Why do you feel this need to justify your decisions? Who to? Some people just grow apart

I’ve just finished reading your thread and that you’ve talked about your faith. I do understand that you made vows, in front of God and would implore you to remember all of them now. Not just the ones that guilt trip you into staying when you’re so unhappy. You need to have an open and honest conversation with your husband if you want to try and save / improve your marriage and counselling (try relate) can support you both. If he’s not willing to try and improve your relationship and/or listen and make you happy then he’s not abiding by the wedding vows he took either. It’s a two way street x

This really is death by a thousand cuts. What you’re essentially proposing is that you carry on with things, just swallowing down all that resentment and pretending it’s all ok, until you die. Do you believe that’s a realistic prospect? That you’re physically capable of doing that?

Or do you think that if you feel like this now, in another ten years, you’ll snap and either say something that there’ll be no coming back from, or someone will come along, and will be a listening ear, and you’ll find yourself being grateful for the understanding and thinking what a good listener they are, and how refreshing it is to talk to a man who actually pays attention to what you’re saying, and then you’ll be looking forward to seeing them, and before you know it, you’ve in a situation that is definitely going to test your faith.

Divorce is not an unforgivable sin.

Also, I might be inclined to ask him why you would show him appreciation for doing —less than— his share when he doesn’t appreciate you for all that you do? He’s supposed to do what he does; it’s his job as an adult. You grow up, you form a family unit, you pull your weight. What does he want? A nomination for a Pride of Britain award?

If your not happy and won't leave, it's unlikely you'd leave if he did treat you worse. People leave relationships where they have partners who treat them well. Some stay in relationships with horrific abuse. You need to dig deep and work out what the real reason is for staying.

Sorry @Dunnowhatimat , I cant find a link.

But I remember the opening statement of each OP. It said something like:

This is a place for women in difficult relationships who can't just "LTB".
It is a place of safety to share experiences and coping mechanisms.
It is not a place to scold women.

It was a bit like the Stately Homes threads for women trapped in bad relationships.❤️

Rather than him being 'worse'
It's all relative. If you raise your own bar, he won't reach it and then is therefore worse than you will accept.
Nb - not 'willing' to accept . It's ok to expect more!

Thank you very much