AIBU, honest advice about complaint again social services

[LovesFood1987]

I was abused severely by my parents for years growing up. The local authority knew all about it and never did anything to protect me (they had police reports, NSPCC referrals, plus I told social workers about our abuse).

I have a complaint meeting coming up with them (it's very historic now but still affects me daily).

Anyone any words of wisdom?! AIBU to expect something from the local authority (eg apology, paying for my counselling) a long time after the event?

I’m so sorry to hear about this. And yes of course abuse follows you from childhood to adulthood.
Do you have legal insurance attached to any of your policies? You could explore this with a no strings attached query.
You are a brave soul, and a survivor, regardless of where this takes this.

Thanks so much for this advice.

I'm taking an independent social worker with me 😊

I have done stage 1, this is part of their stage 1 response to have a facilitated meeting

If nothing comes of it financially or even if there’s no acknowledgement or apology OP, it might be cathartic to just get it all out there, on the record. Tell them everything, how it made you feel and the impact it’s still having years later. If nothing comes of it, at least they just might take onboard what you’ve gone through, and initiate a change in process on the back of it.

Have you considered whether you might have a claim under the Criminal Injuries Compensation Scheme? If not might be worth a look.

EAPs are usually 6 sessions per topic, so you just need an adjacent topic to continue - eg if the first was about abuse, the second might be about parent relationships into adulthood, and the third about healing childhood trauma - when you actually meet it can cover anything really. Have a look to see if that’s how it works with yours.

GP services wait shouldn’t be that long - you can self refer to Talking Therapies - they will do an initial screening call and then maybe could refer you on if they can’t help.

I’m so sorry this happened to you but I wouldn’t hold out much hope for that meeting. Have you made a formal complaint to the council and have you requested any files they still have on you?

Sorry OP as I know you are still hurting but in the very unlikely event you are given compensation that will mean the Council have less funds to provide services to people at risk of harm now.

When you say they knew all about it, what exactly had they seen? You mention a police report but what was it about? What do you mean by an NSPCC referral? What did you tell social workers, when and what did they say? Simply telling them something wouldn't be definitive evidence. I think you are directing your anger at the wrong people.

OP have you had any legal advice on this, or had access to your records? I do worry that you might be putting your energy into something and not getting the result you want. It's really difficult to prove that social services did something objectively wrong, because they have to justify why they took certain actions at the time and if they have evidence that they made a reasonable decision based on the info they had at the time, and it was compatible with the law, then it wouldn't be enough to prove a neglect of their duty. It could be something they acknowledge with hindsight, but that's not going to lead to compensation, or much more than a general 'things have changed and we're working to do better'.
An example would be if you feel you were left in the care of your parents and shouldn't have been - if social services didn't meet the required threshold for court, they couldn't remove you - they would have to try and support at home. If they didn't follow procedure, you might have something to challenge, but if it's a difference of opinion not necessarily so.
The cases in the news where people have successfully taken action - eg re grooming - tend to be where it was later accepted that social services and the police didn't make use of the powers they had, because they wrongly didn't see the girls as victims.

I do hope you find some closure.

I disagree. Of course OPs parents are to blame, she acknowledges that. But the role of social services is to safeguard and to protect children when their parents fail to do so, they failed in this case. Mistakes and wrong doings coming to light can change policy and protect future children. Look at that absolute dreadful case which has been in the media recently with the father who killed his two young sons by setting the house on fire. A judge had deemed he should have contact time based on the presumption that contact with a parent is always in the best interest of the children, despite the mother giving clear evidence he was a danger to the children. The mother has now written a book and is campaigning for the laws around contact to be changed. She has been successfully and the presumption of parental contact has been removed. This will protect children. If she had just said oh well the father was the one most to blame and I should move on that wouldn’t have happened.

I work in healthcare a big part of our job is reflection. No necessarily to place blame on individuals but to do better next time. To sweep things under the cover will not improve things and make people safer. Good luck with your meeting OP.

I agree children are probably not better protected now sadly but I feel it may put pressure on them if I bring this up

I have been a foster carer for many years and in my personal opinion children are less protected now. Sadly many social workers I have come across are only concerned with ticking boxes and the finances. I have been, particularly in recent years, appalled at how little the system really does care for the children themselves. And also sadly it seems that many of the good social workers leave once they realise this too.

Honestly think about this before you go ahead…..you are not going to get anything you asked for…they will not admit fault…..they won’t be allowed to….and they defo won’t pay for counselling….it’s public money….if they gave you an apology and some counselling it would open a floodgate…..it will all be very subjective….save yourself the grief

I think there’s a host of these types of complaint just waiting in the wings. While’s there’s, rightly, been focus on forced removal of children in the 60s and 70s, there’s very little focus on children who were left in unsafe homes for far too long. Unfortunately many of the survivors are too harmed to have the knowledge and capacity to raise a complaint or legal action but they are out there.

@LovesFood1987 it’s good you have an independent social worker going with you, hopefully someone who has a good understanding of the legislation at the time. Law and guidance in child protection is ever changing so it’s important to understand the practice context at the time, rather than law and policy now.

I hope you get what you need (and deserve) from this process.

That’s not a reason to avoid seeking redress. The local authority has ultimate responsibility for protecting children and young people. Every year the budgets are cut and there’s less and less support for children. If anything I expect many more failures will come to light - social worker teams are running at 50% staffing in some areas, working with dangerously high case loads. Actions like this shine a light on the utter underfunding of services, if local authorities grasp that they may be liable for the harm caused by these resourcing issues they might actually resource services better.

We cry out when children tragically die as a result of social worker teams failures, we should equally be screaming about kids who are harmed by very poor safeguarding.

I'm so sorry for what you went through. Have you had legal advice? I really don't think social services are going to offer to do anything for you, they are generally pretty dreadful. 😢 But a lawyer could advice you if it would be possible to sue them. There's also something called the criminal injuries compensation scheme where you can apply for compensation. You might be eligible for that? https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-and-support/get-help/criminal-injuries-compensation/ x

You asked this on another thread
Many people told you that you were wasting your time
The LA are not going to give you money or pay for counselling

Phone a few solicitors and ask for your free 30 minutes to gauge their views on the best approach for you. Good luck, it must be awful.