To resist hugging people at work??

[conniesas]

I hate this phrase but 'im a hugger". I'm new to the workforce (3 years) and work in journalism.. There are people at work who I'm friendly with and my instinct is to not reach out for a hug. But then a hand shake feels formal. We've been friends for a little while, go out and socialise occasionally, which end in a goodbye hug. Then when I see them again I wonder what to do! In contrast there are colleagues I know just as well how share my sentiments and we reach out for mutual hugs!

Often I see all these people at the same time, then im left thinking what if I hug one person (who excitedly made it obvious they wanted to hug!) and dont hug the others. Then do I shake their hands? Seems waaaay too formal. All same sex btw.

Should I continue to resist (not unreasonable) or should I chill out and reach out for hugs (unreasonable)?

Perhaps just don’t touch anyone at all? I would definitely be stepping back if you went in for a hug and air you on the hand shake 🤣 personal space is a massive thing for a lot of people and this over steps the boundary

I hate when “I’m a hugger” is used in a way that suggests someone should concede to a hug because that’s what the person requires. I AM a hugger, but if there’s someone I feel compelled to hug I always ask them - and if it feels too weird to ask, then it’s probably not someone I should hug.

I work alongside a reasonable sized team of journalists and none of them try to hug me, nor shake my hand on a regular day-to-day basis. I’d be horrified. We just exchange verbal pleasantries. Handshakes are typically reserved for visitors.

i would find an unsolicited hug at work a massive boundary overstep.

Im in HR and dealt with complaints about people feeling their personal space violated and this would fit that criteria of a verbal warning.

So glad to see so many people saying that unsolicited hugs in the workplace are a no- no.
I am quite a sociable person but I hate having my personal space invaded in this way at work
IMO lots of old fashioned manners like handshakes developed as a way to communicate without the same familiarity as the hugs you give to friends and family.
It's formal but it's not offensive

We’re all very open about this at work it’s not remotely awkward
we have the huggers and the don’t come near me it’s a 50/50 split

i’m in the don’t care camp

This. I hug my family and my best friend. I don't want to hug or be hugged by anyone else. ' I'm a hugger seems to be bandied about as a superiority thing'. Meghan Markle made a big thing of it. Michelle Obama was ' hugger in chief' . I dont want to be touched by other people. Respect my boundaries.

I hate hate hate being hugged and would be utterly horrified if it happened in a work environment.

I do hug some people who are long-time colleagues and I haven't seen them for a while. Especially if they are rushing towards me arms out. Otherwise no. No need to shake hands either, surely if you know them?

We are not a very shaking hands place, though, except on first meeting.

Please don't hug me!

I gained a lot of respect for one colleague who saw me after a particularly fractious day who said "you look like you need a hug, but I know you don't usually like them. Do you want one".

So, I'd say pay attention to the body language of the recipient, and avoid repeats if the aren't keen.

Please don’t hug people without checking it’s ok.

it’s great if you like a hug - it’s ghastly if you don’t.

although it’s better than cheek kissing

I absolutely wouldn’t shake hands with anyone at my work unless meeting formally for the first time. Colleagues I’m friends with I would occasionally hug, but mostly we’d just say hello with no need for any physical touch.

I'm not a hugger, and I'm not a hand shaker either. What's wrong with a friendly wave?

Ugh, get your filtyy hands off me

I have this on my work lanyard. Some people like a hug, I don’t. Usually my RBF makes it clear I don’t want a hug, but just to keep the hug pests away, I have this for good measure. People can have consensual hugs if they like but people’s perfumes, hair sprays etc make me sneeze so they have to back off or be sprayed with sneeze juice.

I’m not a hugger. It feels like a really weird thing to do with someone who isn’t your spouse or child or parent or dog. I will have my children (even adult) sit on top of me or sit under a blanket on the sofa. And sleep with DH etc. my dog gets in the bed and uses me as his pillow/warmer. but anyone else who touches me - I just think WTF are you doing. I will tolerate it, but not with enthusiasm. Same with this face touching air kissing bollocks. Saying hi is just fine and keep your fucking maulers off me.