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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what is Faith to you?

16 replies

FairyTal1980 · 23/10/2025 09:55

I’m a Sikh. I would still identify as a Sikh. I studied Sikhism academically to A-Level. I learned to read Punjabi. Attended Punjabi school. I still speak Punjabi fluently and can read it.

I sought out some refuge in my faith (personally not in the community) I had a tough upbringing with an alcoholic father. Faith was the only solution I had then. I also lived in a Muslim majority City and it was hammered into us each weekend to practice our faith. We were told that Muslims would see us as loose - take our girls. So faith helped me when I almost got groomed by an older Muslim male.

I then did marry out of faith - a Christian white male, of English origin. A completely different socio-economic class to me, privately educated and a very different upbringing from my inner city living.

I have street, I have ‘metal’. I’ve tried shamanism, connecting to my divine feminine…I’m doing sound baths, meditation. But now I am returning to my faith but I hit a stumbling block, my husband isn’t a Sikh. I don’t drink alcohol and I was a veggie for many years. I almost baptised myself into my faith but my parents wouldn’t let me. That’s how much faith meant to me.

Now I feel lost. I went to the Gurdwara recently and nothing resonated. Nothing struck me in my heart, it felt ritualistic, it felt like I couldn’t get into it. I feel lost and I need faith - I feel like I need to be held. So now I listen to prayers in my car. I pray myself. But I still do not feel held.

What faith are you? How do you feel held by God?

the other side of me doesn’t want God and thinks well it’s just created by men and I need to connect with ancient wisdoms and energy.

OP posts:
TheatricalLife · 23/10/2025 10:00

I have no faith. I don't believe in god or any form of "higher being". I've never felt any issues with this or felt a pressure to identify with a religion or faith, I just am. I'm comfortable with that. I think you should just go with the flow and stop pushing yourself to be a part of something.

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/10/2025 10:01

Faith in people. Don’t believe in a god/gods.

pointythings · 23/10/2025 10:04

If faith is not resonating for you, is it worth taking a mindfulness approach and seeing the wonder and beauty of the world and its people? I don't believe any God exists, but my life is filled with moments that stay in the memory and make me feel it is all worthwhile.

Sonolanona · 23/10/2025 10:32

No faith here. I don't show disrespect to anyone who follows their own religion , but I believe it's for people who need a metaphorical lifebuoy to cling onto (and yes I was brought up in a religious household)
I've worked with children born with such horrific conditions and illnesses that it wiped out all notion of a loving , interested deity. And the vast majority of religions are designed by men to keep women in their place.
The moral codes...fine, we should all strive to be decent human beings to each other and the world around us but we don't need an invisible deity for that. Religions have caused so much division and suffering...and still are, quite clearly.
I think clinging on to a religion that no longer resonates is hard (been there) and letting it go, is actually very freeing and better for your mental health.

I honestly thing that early morning walks across a wet field with a dog, seeing wildlife and seeing the sun rise does more than any religious service anywhere !

ClaredeBear · 23/10/2025 10:37

If I have faith in something or someone, it’s based upon evidence and past track record, even if the body of evidence is quite small, for example, if someone new joins the team our working relationship is new but I might make a judgement immediately as to how much I can trust and have faith in them. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with rituals, as long as they’re not unhealthy. I wonder if Britt / No Nonsense Spirituality is worth checking out.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/10/2025 10:39

Belief in a particular deity and in its teachings, or at least (preferably) in those still considered acceptable by modern standards. Belief in an afterlife, or in reincarnation.

GentleSheep · 23/10/2025 10:39

I'm a practising Christian and my faith is everything to me. I did go 'apostate' from it for a lot of years, though, thinking it couldn't help me through some very difficult life situations. However the past few years I've come back to it and am so very glad, I do spend a lot of time now studying my Bible, learning more about my faith having rejoined a Church and experiencing the joys of fellowship and the power of prayer.

FairyTal1980 · 23/10/2025 11:51

Thank you - I just need to be held by something I feel
exposed and vulnerable.

OP posts:
araiwa · 23/10/2025 12:09

Isn't the definition of faith - belief with zero evidence. Not sure what you're looking for?

RaininSummer · 23/10/2025 12:14

To me faith means believing in something unprovable. I can't do this.

FairyTal1980 · 23/10/2025 13:18

araiwa · 23/10/2025 12:09

Isn't the definition of faith - belief with zero evidence. Not sure what you're looking for?

I’m not asking for evidence I’m asking to feel held

OP posts:
GentleSheep · 23/10/2025 13:38

araiwa · 23/10/2025 12:09

Isn't the definition of faith - belief with zero evidence. Not sure what you're looking for?

** Edited to say I tried to remove the quote but it's still there, sorry!

I’m not asking for evidence I’m asking to feel held

This is problematic as you are basically asking for an emotional thing, if I understand you correctly. You want to feel something, some assurance? When you have faith you may or may not feel something, certainly not all the time, and your faith should not be reliant on it. Faith is actually a verb, in a biblical sense. It's an action, it's not a passive thing. To cultivate it you need to read the scriptures, seek out others with a similar perspective, pray to God, confess to God how you feel (or don't feel). If you truly seek God He will show Himself to you.

Olderbutt · 23/10/2025 13:46

GentleSheep · 23/10/2025 10:39

I'm a practising Christian and my faith is everything to me. I did go 'apostate' from it for a lot of years, though, thinking it couldn't help me through some very difficult life situations. However the past few years I've come back to it and am so very glad, I do spend a lot of time now studying my Bible, learning more about my faith having rejoined a Church and experiencing the joys of fellowship and the power of prayer.

I became a Christian over 40 years ago after 'longing and searching ' for years. I don't feel that it's a crutch or liferaft but a living 2 way relationship. I 'feel' that Im being 'held and guided' the more I learn about it all, pray and study the more realistic it becomes x

Greenmouldycheese · 23/10/2025 22:47

I believe in Jesus and God. I've been reading the Bible for a year and going to classes with my partner. I was never brought up as religious, but since learning about Christianity, it's brought me peace and I wish I had done it sooner. Partner and I want our children to be brought up with religion in their hearts because it's simply beautiful.

Greenmouldycheese · 23/10/2025 22:49

Olderbutt · 23/10/2025 13:46

I became a Christian over 40 years ago after 'longing and searching ' for years. I don't feel that it's a crutch or liferaft but a living 2 way relationship. I 'feel' that Im being 'held and guided' the more I learn about it all, pray and study the more realistic it becomes x

Same. I feel a pull towards it and the more I learn, the more at peace I feel. Kind of hard to describe.

BreakingBroken · 24/10/2025 03:50

rc from birth, and my faith is unique to me, simply very personal and yes i really do feel like i have someone by my side at all times.
i listen to mass almost daily and try to put into practice the teachings from the homily.
personally my go to support figure is the virgin mary, as a woman she really understands all the challenges i face. i do feel very close to the holy spirit as well.

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