To make a bit of a fuss at nursery?

[SillyBilly1993]

My child is 18 months and attends nursery, we’ve been happy with them so far.

Today we got a call that he’d had an accident in the garden at nursery as a swing had caught him on his forehead and left a small mark.

When I picked him up it was a big bright red mark on his forehead, with another bigger red mark down the side of his face. They said that he ‘accidentally walked behind a child using a swing’.

He’s only just started to walk, so would have walked over quite slowly. He was clingy, tearful and not himself at home this evening.

Part of me thinks these things happen at nursery, there are lots of children playing and running around. He loves going there and playing in the garden, some accidents are unavoidable.

But part of me thinks that this specific accident was avoidable. They seemed to act as if it was his fault for walking near the swing, but I don’t understand why they didn’t anticipate that small children will walk near swings and supervise more attentively. Or just not have swings! I’m also upset that they didn’t fully explain his injuries.

AIBU if I make a bit of fuss? I was thinking about asking if he could not play in the garden again until I’ve visited and seen the set up, and understood more what happened and what can be done to stop it happening again.

I feel like you have to pick your battles with nursery so don’t know if I am being a bit dramatic!

You’re being dramatic. You certainly can’t dictate he doesn’t play in the garden until you’ve seen the set up, the nursery will have to follow ratios so they can’t have one child inside by himself. Why didn’t you look at the facilities before placing your child at the nursery?

I don’t think you are being over-dramatic at all. I think they need to watch the children on and around the swings better. I think you have a valid complaint. I wouldn’t say he can’t go into the garden though.

He moved rooms a couple of weeks ago and they recently refurbished, so I’ve not had an opportunity to see the new garden yet.

You are unreasonable if making a fuss means shouting and generally being confrontational.

This one sounds like a big one tbh - why are the toddlers in an area with a swing? That should be reserved for preschoolers surely?

I would enquire about how they'd be kept separate going forward, without placing blame.

I'd also ask for an eye to be kept for concussion if he's going in again tomorrow.

Sorry about your son OP, the Nursery are completely out of order on this.
An 18 month child will have no awareness of the danger of getting hit by a swing. Hence why you pay to have him cared for by a nursery. If he was that smart you could near leave him at home.

I would ask to see the risk assessment for this area and def make a fuss on this.

I'm usually the first to say, "Don't make a fuss" but this strikes me as a bit odd. A bang from the swing would have left a mark in one place, I would have thought. It's possible they didn't see what happened. It also seems strange to have swings in a nursery unless it has a huge garden as that's a frequent accident waiting to happen. We have someone stationed on the slide all the time there are kids on it, to stop accidents. I think you should ask some questions and maybe just ask to see the garden at drop off to see if this is a likely story.

A fuss in my world is asking a few questions, wanting an apology and assurances it won’t happen again - and def not a slanging match but from your initial post you don’t seem the type that will be shouting, you just want reassurance. 😊

It sounds like it was a right bang to his face if he's still got the marks when you've picked him up. How old are the children he's in a room with? Surely a 2y/o couldn't have been going that fast on the swing to make so much of a mark on his face?!
I'd say something because for one they should have been supervising more carefully imo and two, if it was you bringing him into nursery with such a mark on his face theres a chance they'd flag it as a safeguarding concern.

Yes that’s making a fuss means to me - politely and calmly bringing my concerns to the attention of the nursery staff for discussion.

I’d also be asking to see the garden tomorrow at drop off or pick up, so that hopefully this can be resolved quickly.

I do feel very nervous about him being in the garden tomorrow, because if another worse accident happens then I would blame myself and feel I had let him down.

I think there are ways this could've happened which don't mean they were being negligent. Perhaps another child grabbed the swing and let it go rather than sitting swinging, before an adult could stop the swinging seat. Perhaps your DC was standing with an adult waiting and suddenly tripped lurching forward into swing's path. Perhaps your DC was being held in arms by adult swing-pusher and then started agitating to get down thus being semi-dropped/slid down. I have had all these happen between my two small children.
However obviously yes it could have been that nobody was paying close enough attention to moving swings.
I think I would ask at the door next time. Tell them how the bruise is recovering and ask exactly how it happened. I think the attitude with the answer will tell you whether this was an honest mistake made by good caring people, or laziness and trying to cover themselves.

@Undochange why would toddlers not enjoy swings as much as preschoolers? Arguably preschoolers are less likely to have swings because the kids are heavy for adults to keep lifting in and out. My children both enjoyed swinging from when they could sit unaided, very very gently at first but certainly by 12 months they were swinging pretty fast!

Yes you are def entitled to see where this happened. I don’t like that they seemed to indicate it was your so son’s fault for walking around the swings. So I would be making that clear to them.

Depends where you are but most of the country has a weather warning tomorrow for rain and/or wind so hopefully they won't be in the garden. I'd definitely have a few questions.

I would ask what risk assessment they have done for the swing. I would have thought that there ought to be an adult by the swing whenever it is in use, and if that means that it has to be tied up when there aren't enough adults, so be it.

(This brought back memories of taking my friend's three toddlers to the playground. I ended up stationed by the swings as that was the biggest danger point and I couldn't keep within reach of all three.)

In all fairness though this is how kids learn things for themselves. He will be more careful as well as he knows he could get hurt.

It does sound a very odd set up, to have a newly walking toddler in a space with swings. These things to happen but it does seem quite a hazard.

did you not look round the nursery before starting surely the garden and the garden set up would have bin part of that

Get real, a newly walking child should not have been anywhere near a swing in a playground. They have little danger awareness at that age so no lesson learnt.

It's nursery, accidents happen.

Yes accidents happen but they should be risk assessing everything in that garden and the swings are obviously one of the significant areas where harm could happen. Not many nurseries have swings for that reason!
if they want to use them in their setting, they should be heavily supervised.
You're absolutely right to seek assurances about how they will prevent this happening in future as your child should have been in sight of a member of staff and not able to wander behind a moving swing.

I completely agree that accidents happen all the time, I receive calls every other day about one of my toddlers hitting a wall, tripping on a rock or falling from whatever they were climbing on... But they are older and these to me are normal incidents that can happen anywhere.

There are few things that seem odd to me here. I'm very surprised they have swings in the first place. I get the kids love it, but with young toddlers like yours it's a nightmare to manage - because they keep walking near it and can't yet understand they shouldn't. I have never seen a swing in any nursery I visited.
And also I would assume it's a baby swing so the child isn't using it on its own. There was to be an adult nearby pushing the swing.
Or it was an older child using the swing on their own, and then I'm very surprised they would mix an 18 mo with a 3-4 yo in the outdoor area.

What are you wanting to happen if you look at the garden and don't approve of the setup? I mean, would you want them to remove the swing because your child walked into it once? Will you move yours to a different, swing-less, nursery?

DD is 15 months and at nursery, too. They have a big swing in the garden of the baby room. (Her room is 12-36 months.) She's been walking since she was 11 months and is quite speedy by now. I'm running after her frequently and she's taken a few tumbles. I've only got one small person to look after, they've got several. Accidents happen.

It’s reasonable to ask what their risk assessment is for toddlers being near the swing. Surely they would have an adult monitoring the area, they can’t expect under twos to know to avoid the swing.

Yanbu. Yes accidents happen and whilst its forgivable, some blame does sit with the nursery. Its reasonable to expect that accident to be anticipated and preveted. You cant have swings and such young children in the same space with out very close supervision. Like you say he has just started walking he doesnt go that fast. And being hit with a swing is much sorer/more dangerous than him falling. Some accidents are not precentable imo this one should have been anticipated and prevented. Keeping a baby safe means not letting them near moving swings. Make a fuss op. Yanbu

A swing in the face is potentially a serious injury - did you get him checked over by a doctor? I would do that first and then address things from there. He could have lost an eye or received an injury requiring plastic surgery so you are not wrong to take it seriously.