to ask what to do about a bullying boss at a law firm

[HildegardVonBingham]

Hi all

I am a trainee at law firm in London. I applied here because the firm is meant to have a relatively warm culture and no culture of flogging you. I am in my third seat. By all accounts the NQ job market is not great, and I was thinking of maybe looking to qualify into my current seat.

A new partner has been recruited to act as the national team lead. He is quite passive-aggressive - bad-mouths the firm, bad-mouths other partners, criticises people, seeks to play juniors off against each other, etc. He has been here for c.3 months, but not yet brought in any new work.

There is an NQ in my team who I really like and am friends with. He seems to have really taken against her in particular. She was recently taken into a meeting with him, HR, and a more junior partner, and given a dressing down for the 'sloppy' quality of her work - with essentially no warning. There have never been any complaints regarding the quality of her work before. He tries to play the junior solicitors off against each other to win his favour. There is a trainee in my cohort who previously took my seat (before he joined) - we were chatting by my desk and as he walked past he said 'Come back Other Trainee - we need you here!' It goes without saying that he is not like this with any of the men of the team.

I don't know how to manage this. I am a career changer, and now I feel like I left a nice job and took a pay cut to go and work in an unpleasant environment. I feel bad for my friend and frankly a bit stressed about my own prospects.
How can I manage this? Like pretty much every other firm, I sense that early careers over-hired when they recruited us all post-covid, and so there are more trainees than there are NQ roles. Is this just what it's like?

Hello & congratulations. You are almost there and qualified.

You’ve taken amazing risks to get to a great launching pad for your career.

It is tough to realize there are so many enablers whose careers are stabilized by letting bullies get away with it.

You won’t work with this person for long - but you will get a lifelong lesson.

You only have three months left in this seat. Document everything. Support your friend as best you can. Keep moving forward.

There are lots of people seeing what you are seeing and they should do something about it They have permanence and power. They won’t - because the culture you were sold doesn’t exist.

Observe, record and never repeat. Well done!

Thank you @YouCantProveIt , that is such a nice response! I will be telling my friend that we just have to pull up our psychic zips and push onwards.

1. See manager. 2. HR if n 1 doesn't work. 3 Sue the company for workplace bullying. Good that you got some legal training for that one. Good luck!

I wouldn’t recommend this. I think she probably just needs to watch and wait and perhaps document anything egregious. Unfortunately, as much as this man is a dick, she’s in a delicate situation and would want to finish out her training. Obviously, if he amps it up, that’s something different. Hopefully the fact he’s not bringing in any new business will hasten his own departure.

I think you should speak to a recruitment consultant or two about NQ roles elsewhere. Think about what type of work you want to do, what type of firm you want to work at and where you would be willing to go geographically, if you can leave the city. Your next move doesn't have to be your final move. Maybe post your question on Roll on Friday too. Good luck.

Record, record and record. Smile. Ignore. He will go before you will.

Completely this. Keep your head down OP, this too will pass. I am a solicitor, and qualified 30 years ago .

I would call this out if it happened to me now, but I am not trying to build a career and reputation.

I now work I’m house, and quite honestly I have come across this type several times. When you get to the crux of it, they are usually pretty poor at their jobs.

As said upthread, he is a new hire and is not doing that well by the sounds of it.

Bullying and incompetence almost always go hand in hand. He’ll probably dig his own grave. Don’t let him drag you down along the way .

A junior who makes a fuss is going nowhere fast. Unfair but true, especially in law

You still have your fourth seat so you might like that more.

If you want to qualify into your current seat, look at another firm.

Thank you everyone - these are all really helpful responses. I acknowledge that when you're junior you have to recognise when to eat dirt. This feels like one of those occasions. I want to be loyal to my friend but also don't want to put a target on my own back. I think I wouldn't mind as much if I was at a really top firm, and I felt like I had excellent NQ prospects - but as it stands I'm at a very middling firm... I thought that I'd take quality of life over prestige, but as it stands I'm getting neither! I just need to keep pushing forward. It is so nice to have Mumsnet to get the views of other women who have been here before...

OP what kind of 'tier' of firm are you if you don't mind me asking? MC, SC, top 50 etc? I'm a lawyer too hence why I want to know to contextualise my answer 🙂

Excellent advice

I agree, keep your head down. I converted into law 18 years ago and saw terrible behaviour (and was myself treated awfully) as a trainee and an NQ, but as you grow in the role you get treated better, and make better choices as to where to work. I’m now self-employed which is bliss (and far better paid!) but it took years of graft to get to this point.

I wouldn't recommend this, as awful as it is. She is in a very precarious stage of her training. Law is a small circle, even if in London. Lawyers who take employers to tribunal find it difficult to get work, regardless of outcome. I agree keep your head down, you're nearly there.

You don’t have to eat dirt. You genuinely don’t. But you don’t have to commit harakiri. Do your work, your best work. Cheer your friend on too. Jobs come & go. Friends are for the long haul.

You had two good seats already -and a fourth is just around the corner. This is tough to watch & experience - but it’s short in an entire career.

It’s tough that you’re in a middling firm with an a-hole. It sucks. You will get quality of life & prestige if you do excellent work & honour your own worth. It takes time. Keep going, one day at a time.

What are you doing now? Own admin / co seems daunting.

I'd try and qualify into a different seat. Morally you are right but the power dynamic will not play in your favour so better to just find a home far away from this A hole. Encourage your NQ friend to do the same.

"A junior who makes a fuss is going nowhere fast. Unfair but true, especially in law"

This is so true OP.

It's been a long time since i qualified but the competition for seats was still cut throat, even though (back then) there were almost enough jobs for every trainee in the cohort.

I'm afraid that one sniff of you being 'difficult' and you'll be out on your ear.

I'm going to disagree with the previous posters who said to speak to recruiters and try and move on qualification. I wouldn't. It only ever looks like you didn't get offered a role at all or a role in a competitive department / team (unless you go from a banking firm into an IP boutique and it's obviously a passion you followed).

Try and stay at your firm 1 or 2 years. Once you are qualified and usefully competent / capable you're a hot commodity, you should have no difficulty getting another role unless you're in a niche team.

If it makes you feel any better, in a weird way, almost every large commercial firm is like this. Drama, one upmanship, backstabbing, espionage, treason are the hallmarks of every partnership and it almost always flows into and infects the culture. The business model is literally cultivated from possessiveness (of clients), ambition (to outperform your fellow partners), fear (of losing revenue, and thus status and relevance - literally, as your equity errodes) and greed (to earn more to compensate yourself for the terrible work life balance).

If you move firms you would be quite unlucky to immediate encounter a similar character but they're there and they will find you, or your friend, or your boss/partner. Sorry to say that is corporate law!

So no, do not jump on account of this one twat partner who is clearly feels exposed and knows he has a target on his back for not bringing in any work. He or she will be there in the next team, or the next firm, i promise.

Keep your head down, your opinions to yourself and support your friend but do not get involved. I've read your post and note that i don't think you were actually present or involved when any of these things happened to your friend (apart from the incident where the partner called after the ex-trainee, which in context was evidently a barbed comment but on its face is completely innocous) so honestly, there is nothing you can or should do here apart from take your friend for a drink regularly and let them have a moan.

(Despite the above, i love my job but only because i found an ally - a partner - to whom i'm 2iC and we look out for each other and our team and our clients, but no one else).