Is it normal to be this tired with a baby? Not newborn

[thelongandwindingwind]

DD is 4 months and overall, a great sleeper at night. Not every night, sometimes she wakes between 2-3 for a feed and goes back down until 6:30-7am ish after going to sleep between 8:30-10pm. But I’m so, so tired. I slept from 10pm-5am last night. I met a friend and did 10,000 steps and had coffee but I’ve been ready to sleep since 3pm (of course, I haven’t). I was zoning out when my poor friend was speaking but I couldn’t help it, I’m exhausted. I don’t ‘do’ something like that every day as I don’t have the energy, only once a week. Take baby f9r short walks otherwise. Is it normal to be this tired when it’s no longer the newborn days?

Have you had your iron levels checked? That does sound very tired when your baby is sleeping amazingly well for their age.

I found the newborn stage easy and struggled when dd was around your baby age. .I think it was hormones, lack of sleep catching up and a few other things. Honestly it very normal. Your friend would have understood

I found this stage to about 6 months the worst. I was prepared for newborn tiredness (ish) but hadn't really factored in the long term accumulation of insufficient sleep. That said I did have enough energy to get out most days

10-5 is only seven hours, and sometimes you're up in the night. It's chronic lack of sleep, yes normal to be tired.

Try going to bed an hour earlier and see if that helps after a couple of weeks.

Get your Vit D, thyroid and iron levels checked

Worth asking your GP if they can do some blood tests if you feel it's more than lack of sleep. Things like low iron can make you feel really awful.

My DD is 20 yrs old and I’m still knackered.

It’s not just the sleep deprivation. Being completely responsible for a tiny helpless creature 24/7 is exhausting in itself.

I think magnesium and vitamin B supplements helped me at around 4-6 months in though.

Why are you walking 10k steps on 7 hours sleep 4 months post birth with a baby to care for??? Sit down put your feet up, and get rest any way you can.

Sometimes your thyroid goes into overdrive after you give birth and then it goes too much the other way until it balances out. Deffo get iron and thyroid and vit d checked.

It the interrupted sleep that does it, actual torture. Aim to go to bed the same time as your baby’s first long sleep a couple of night a week, and get your partner to get up one weekend morning too so you can have a lie in.
If you’re breastfeeding too that takes a lot of energy.

I’ve been tired for 15 years, I don’t think I ever caught up on all my missed sleep 🤣

Seriously, you’re only getting 7 hours in your example, and if you’re getting 7 hours or less every night, you have a chronic sleep deficit. There are studies suggesting that women actually need more than 8 hours sleep for optimal health (the 8 hours is based on research done on men, of course) so it’s no surprise that you feel tired. I expect you also have multiple ‘tabs open in the brain’ as you juggle baby’s stuff, your stuff, domestic stuff… and learn how to be a parent. It’s a lot!

A blood test might be a good idea too, and if breastfeeding make sure you’re eating all the right nutrients, as your body will use your resources for your baby first.

Get your iron levels checked, and for a week go to bed at the same time as your baby or at least no more than an hour later. Do you ever nap when she naps? Are you eating well?

The first 6 months with my first I barely remember and it just a fog of anxiety and exhaustion looking back. And I had a 'good' sleeper too. Slept from 9-5am from about 13 weeks.

You have to remember that having a baby turns your life and body upside down. You don't get as much undisturbed sleep, the sleep you do get isn't as restful as you are keyed into the babies noises. I used to heat cats fighting, DH snoring, neighbours door creaking and bolt upright thing it was the baby.

Time helps, the baby gets easier sometimes but it's more you adjusting, getting strategies, the hormones calming down.

It may sound strange but something that really helped me was some mental 'work' I started online clock working, surveys and scientific studies. Then some easy online structured learning with deadlines. I woke up again and made some bonus money. This was about 6-9 months old.

Get yourself to the GP for a check up. You might be anaemic or have some other deficiency. If you're getting enough sleep, you shouldn't be feeling so exhausted!

I think it’s definitely worth going to your GP and having some basic bloods done to make sure nothing is amiss.

It could all be sleep deprivation; however, my baby is 6 months old and wakes three or four times each night, and I have to say I don’t feel as exhausted as you describe. I’ve walked 20,000 steps today and done a spin class. It might be that I’ve sort of reset to years of interrupted sleep (also have a 2yo and 4yo), but I think it would be sensible to make sure you’re not anaemic or having thyroid issues at this stage postpartum.

I hope you are able to rope in some help so you can catch up on rest and feel better soon!

Something is wrong with you, you need to see the GP.

That's more sleep than anyone in my mum groups got at that age. And the sleep deprivation continues well beyond 1, they sleep like shit when they're teething or sick so you need to sort it out as you will be living on 3 hours of sleep a lot.

Sorry I'm distracted - are some people suggesting 7 hours sleep isn't enough? 🙈 'What are you doing walking 10000 steps on 7 hours?' made me laugh

Healthy adults need 7-9 hours. If the OP needs 8 she's missing the equivalent of one night per week, if they need 9 she is missing the equivalent of two nights per week.

The GP can run bloods and it could be anemia or other cause, but it could also be caused by not enough sleep.

I don't think it's abnormal. As other have said, you should definitely check for any iron or other deficiencies. But personally my sleep has never recovered since my first pregnancy (and eldest is now almost 4).

Length of sleep isn't the only factor, it could be that you don't have enough "deep sleep" phases for instance.

Pretty normal after 4 months of broken sleep , breastfeeding and everything else. If you are feeling really drained though I would go for a checkup at doctors. Check iron, vitamin d, thyroid etc. I actually got glandular fever after my 2nd and was misdiagnosed with PND at first.

10-5 is still a shit nights sleep!!!
my ds is 3 and a good nights sleep for me is 9:30/10 pm - 7am!! You need at least 8 hours - more in your case to catch up on all the already missed sleep. In your place I’d be going to bed as early as I could.

Im still tired three years in. And not just a bit tired; I’m mostly knackered and feel like I’m in survival mode.
get more sleep! x

@Thatsnotmynamee its definitely not enough for most people. If I did 10-5 I’d be ok for a few days but beyond that it would start to make me ill. Especially off the back of breastfeeding baby birth etc. At this phase op would probably need to do some serious catching up on sleep hours as she’s already 4 months into sleep deprivation which will be accumulating. I remember when my baby was 12m I was so sleep deprived with the build up of that first year; it made me ill. I don’t think my body has properly recovered from that now tbh.

I’ve got a just turned 1 year old , 3 and 5 year old I am a sahm my husband works away has his own business. I worry often at how fatigued I feel then I remind myself just how much I am doing and have done for 5 years now . No family respite it’s hard x