To stop contact until we sort this

[Judiss]

So after years of being controlled by ex I have put my foot down, we have agreed days that he picks the kids up but he is always late/trying to swap. This weekend was my final straw as when I rang him to see where he was he was abroad and apparently he told me (he may have done but I don’t care what he does so these dates don’t stick in my head) we have a joint calendar for any changes/events etc and we agreed it would always be put on there. Everything is so up in the air to a point where he has said, all you have to know if I will pick them up at some point in the morning. It is affecting school, they have to go to wrap around care u til 6pm which they hate. I just don’t see the point for the sake of an hour in the evening. I have told him that going forward he needs have them every other weekend, he said he cannot do weekends so I have told him this will have to go to court. I feel really bad.

Why are you posting duplicate threads?

Well you can't make him have them, court or no court.

I do think it’s better not to say things in anger and keep it ‘official’ but I completely empathise. The posters are right though and you cannot enforce him being a good consistent parent. He can still be late, disappear etc even with a court order.

Maybe take a few days out and tell him, school etc that your children have two parents and they need to contact him if he is late, not picking them up from after school care. Don’t agree to Anything unless it’s in writing/ on your calendar.

This is the nuclear option though and still relies on him playing ball. You need to bear that in mind. Your children rely on you both being adults.