To think this is really unfair

[Scotsmare77]

DS has done his A levels. He worked so so hard and got good grades. He really doesn’t want to go to uni so has been applying for apprenticeships. No luck so far.

A friend of his has failed his A levels after spending the 2 years partying. His uncle works at a company that offers 2 apprenticeships each year. There are set entry requirements. The uncle has got this friend a place despite him not meeting the requirements.

DS would have loved this opportunity. This lad is now earning £1500k per month.

Just a hard, early lesson for DS that life is not fair and it’s who you know not what you know.

What type of career is he looking at? Is there any additional studying or volunteering that could help?

It's hard when they're starting out. My son did A levels but didn't want to go to Uni, he did a 2 year apprenticeship and is now in his final year of a degree apprenticeship. He was a bit lost with which way to go after school though.

Of course it’s unfair but the old adage of it’s not what you know it’s who you are is true.

The one I know is ‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ but yours is also very true.

It can be unfair, but I do think in my own experience & that of my friends these kind of situations are getting to be much less common. Hiring & interview processes, especially for big companies, involve so many hoops and steps that far more people are getting jobs based on what they know than who they know now.

I’d really encourage your son to put himself out there, especially if he has a certain industry in mind, do shadowing work, entry level roles, attend events etc just mingle and get his name out there a bit. My husband landed his job like this, he started with no connections whatsoever, PIL have barely ever worked nevermind had connections to pass on, he managed to get his foot in the door by forging his own connections. His company have recently taken on 2 new people who did the same thing, reached out on LinkedIn, attended the same events the company was attending etc.

Most young people have good jobs they got of their own accord? Well that’s not true is it? And most people wouldn’t engage in blatant nepotism, no.

Well unfortunately life is not fair
I will use my contacts to help DS get Summer work in the field he is interested in and also for any future employment. Its all about networking
I make no apology for it

Sorry thus has happened to your son, but lets be honest we would all do it for our own kids wouldn’t we?

I feel I’m falling short though, what do you say other than ‘yep, life’s not fair, suck it up and move on’. Is there anything more encouraging I can say?

You can tell him to stop focusing on what other people are doing and worry about himself.