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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone with adhd/autism experience help please!

2 replies

Mum2two99 · 22/10/2025 17:38

If you read all this thank you 😊

I'm 32f likely on the spectrum myself,

My kids were 3 and 9m when me and their dad separated. We were married and together 12 year so It hit me hard. We had to move in with my parents and it took a while to get back on track.

Now I've been seeing a lovely guy long distance for 2.5 years and I've come off anti depressants, I love my kids and want nothing more than a good life for them.
My daughters 7 and their both in school now so I want to go back to work full time as I've been a part time nursery teacher for years.

Basically every school days the same, she doesn't want to go to school and refuses to wear clothing (sensory). She screams, cries, gets very angry or just runs and hides. She has many difficulties with daily life but when I finally get her to school she manages well enough and the teachers are good with her. Some days they collect her from home if needed.
She also struggles at home especially when her little brother is around as she gets jealous and misbehaves, she wants me all the time to help manage her emotions and it is exhausting. They see their dad on the weekends but he struggles with her too.

She should be such a happy little girl and I want nothing more but she just struggles too much with sensory overload.

Anybody have experience with complete school refusal? It's been 3 years since starting school with zero improvement and I'm at a loss, I'm desperate to go back to work full time but I'll struggle as my mornings are a nightmare. My parents are close by, but they're not in the best health and help as best they can.

Anyone been through similar? Ty x

OP posts:
SteakBakesAndHotTakes · 22/10/2025 18:00

Our school has an attendance counsellor - speak to school and see if they can advise? Good luck

24Dogcuddler · 22/10/2025 18:12

Hi OP this sounds difficult for both of you.
Has she had an OT sensory assessment? Not all OTs are trained and you may need to pay privately.

The Out of Synch Child has fun is a good book.
Do school do sensory circuits or any sensory interventions? It does sound like they are accommodating.

Would school be flexible with uniform? Have you pinpointed whether it’s labels, seams, buttons or general overwhelm?

Is it more difficult in the week to get her dressed compared to weekends? She’s likely to be more sensory sensitive if she’s stressed.
Have you tried sensory friendly clothing?
Would school be flexible with arrival times to avoid sensory overload?

Have you discussed applying for an EHCNA with the SENCO? You can apply as a parent.
Sorry feel like I’ve thrown a lot of questions at you! Just trying to help with strategies.

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