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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fuming with DP re his business

176 replies

Wham83 · 22/10/2025 08:54

DP has a small business, been trading for over a decade. Not a huge turnover, just ticks over. It’s a very small operation, just him but I am listed as a minority share company director on paper only, I don’t have anything to do with the business, don’t take any money out etc, but obviously have to file tax returns via the accountant as I am listed as a director.

DP has a history for as long as he’s been trading of paying tax late and constantly being charged late payment fees by HMRC. It’s been a constant argument between us. He does have the money within the business accounts, he just doesn’t see it as a priority so doesn’t pay and it goes to debt collection…constantly. Well, this morning I’ve received a call on my mobile from a debt collection agency looking to recoup the money owed to HMRC. I have never had any personal debt that’s required debt collection and never received a call like this relating to his company. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated to receive the call. I do not understand why he doesn’t just pay the money on time - it’s there in the business account! I don’t have access to the business account as I am not involved with it, so I can’t pay it for him. It’s tiring to have the same rows and conversations about it every time tax or vat is owed.

AIBU to be fuming regarding the lack of care and for receiving the call?

OP posts:
SALaw · 22/10/2025 19:17

You have duties as a director that it doesn’t sound like you are fulfilling?

thisishowloween · 22/10/2025 19:23

Wham83 · 22/10/2025 19:11

I’ve never resigned before though have I? Maybe it’s the kick up the backside he needs to wake up to it all

And you actually trust him?

PinkPanther50 · 22/10/2025 19:29

You should talk to your accountant before resigning as doing so may have further tax implications for you and as it sounds like you have no idea about any of it seeking expert advice is the sensible thing to do.

PlanningPermission · 22/10/2025 19:39

Going against the tide, I feel that in your position I would insist on access to the business bank account and then would pay the tax bills myself. I know that you shouldn't have to, but it is better than getting late payment fines. You would save a fortune if the bills were paid on time.

Hoppinggreen · 22/10/2025 19:50

thisishowloween · 22/10/2025 18:58

I think a lot of people are good at the actual job but not the business side.

But that's why you pay an accountant and they help you reduce your tax bill. The fact that this one isn't doing that raises so many questions 🤔

Not all Accountants do, they tend to be either Compliance or Advisory, the latter is more common now. Our Accountant just did the Compliance bit for many years until I decided to switch and our new one is Advisory. She now maakes suggestions, helps us actually plan and saves us a lot of money, many Accountants will just do what you ask them to and no more

RafaFan · 22/10/2025 20:16

thisishowloween · 22/10/2025 18:58

I think a lot of people are good at the actual job but not the business side.

But that's why you pay an accountant and they help you reduce your tax bill. The fact that this one isn't doing that raises so many questions 🤔

Accountant here...you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You can tell a client what expenses can be claimed, but if they don't provide the information it can't be claimed. Mileage is a common one that people miss out on, because they can't be a*d recording it properly, even with all the apps etc that are available these days. A good accountant doesn't just make up or estimate expenses, because you need to provide documents to support them in the event of an audit. It doesn't sound like the OP's partner is the best at record keeping, so it's very likely he just doesn't bother with mileage because it's a bit of a pain to record it properly.

FusionChefGeoff · 22/10/2025 21:06

Wham83 · 22/10/2025 11:53

He’s a contractor, so works for other companies as a contractor, who then pay his business and he takes a salary via the his business as well as dividends. Meaning there are no overheads, just tax, vat and accounting fees

He could be putting a lot more through the company! Software costs, phones, travel, mileage etc he’s missing a trick having NO expenses

senua · 22/10/2025 22:41

thisishowloween · 22/10/2025 18:58

I think a lot of people are good at the actual job but not the business side.

But that's why you pay an accountant and they help you reduce your tax bill. The fact that this one isn't doing that raises so many questions 🤔

raises so many questions
I know. One minute OP is ditsy, has no idea what being a director entails and doesn't "have anything to do with the business". The next she can quote chapter and verse on her DH's IR35 status and expense claims ...

thisishowloween · 22/10/2025 22:44

senua · 22/10/2025 22:41

raises so many questions
I know. One minute OP is ditsy, has no idea what being a director entails and doesn't "have anything to do with the business". The next she can quote chapter and verse on her DH's IR35 status and expense claims ...

Exactly - all very odd.

thisishowloween · 22/10/2025 22:45

RafaFan · 22/10/2025 20:16

Accountant here...you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You can tell a client what expenses can be claimed, but if they don't provide the information it can't be claimed. Mileage is a common one that people miss out on, because they can't be a*d recording it properly, even with all the apps etc that are available these days. A good accountant doesn't just make up or estimate expenses, because you need to provide documents to support them in the event of an audit. It doesn't sound like the OP's partner is the best at record keeping, so it's very likely he just doesn't bother with mileage because it's a bit of a pain to record it properly.

True - I have an app that records my mileage for me, saves me a fortune at tax time even if it’s a faff to remember every day 😂

Whatsthatsheila · 22/10/2025 22:53

Wham83 · 22/10/2025 16:47

Yes, we have a joint account and I manage all of the household bills etc, we both pay into the joint account to cover household expenses. There isn’t anything else he’s lax about, his personal finances are all upto date, no credit cards etc. it’s all taken care of by DD so no thought needed, but with the tax and vat he has to physically log on and pay it via HMRC or companies house etc, and that’s where it falls down - he just doesn’t do it even though he knows it needs to be done. There are 100 other things to do that it gets pushed to the back of the pile to do later, and then he forgets until reminders come through and I get annoyed.

Edited

Does this not affect your personal credit scores and put your mortgage at risk? Obv he does pay it in the end but personal assets can be seized can’t they as part of a business tax liability?

GlasgowGal2014 · 22/10/2025 23:27

OP, there is no such thing as a 'minor' and 'major' director as far as companies law is concerned, and there's no such thing as being a director 'on paper'. You are listed as a director on Companies House, which means that you and your husband are jointly and severally liable for any responsibilities relating to the company. In order words you are both share the responsibility for any liabilities and you can also each be held individually responsible for any debts. Unless you are willing to take those responsibilities seriously you need to get in touch with Companies House to remove yourself as a director. You are still liable for any debts accrued whilst you were a director so make sure your husband pays up asap. Read him the riot act too, because this type of behaviour could well lead to you losing your home.

CalmShaker · 22/10/2025 23:37

I must say OP this certainly sounds very shady, but what could his motive be? I don't want to jump to assumptions but have you considered the possibility he is saving on the side for a new life and leaving you?

Erorgreys · 23/10/2025 06:03

thisishowloween · 22/10/2025 19:06

And yet he's not claiming all the expenses he could and is paying more tax than he needs to.

He doesn't sound lazy to me - more like a total idiot.

Oh he’s claiming them
I think the op trying to change our view of him
but he’s sketchy
and HMRC are now on to him properly
I imagine next time it’ll be an investigation in to his accounts because this chap will not have been reporting correctly given the op freely admits he dislikes paying anything to HMRC!

Sadly? The OP is well and truly enmeshed in any of the consequences until she extracts herself
but
once she extracts herself, she’ll have no idea of what sketchiness her husband is doing re accounts

Erorgreys · 23/10/2025 06:05

senua · 22/10/2025 22:41

raises so many questions
I know. One minute OP is ditsy, has no idea what being a director entails and doesn't "have anything to do with the business". The next she can quote chapter and verse on her DH's IR35 status and expense claims ...

Odd isn’t it

Sounds like maybe the couple is made for each other

Iwilladmit · 23/10/2025 07:11

OP - I haven’t RTFT so this may have been covered. You need to look into the difference between a Shareholder and a director. They are not the same thing!

Even so - as a director you are not liable for company debts (assuming the company is Limited).

however, even by resigning as a director, you are still jointly liable for your husband’s debts in that they can be set against marital assets.

If you are as concerned about his ability to deal with the company’s finances as you seem, you need to increase your knowledge base on the above to know where you stand.

Iwilladmit · 23/10/2025 07:14

Whatsthatsheila · 22/10/2025 22:53

Does this not affect your personal credit scores and put your mortgage at risk? Obv he does pay it in the end but personal assets can be seized can’t they as part of a business tax liability?

No - assuming the company is a limited liability company, ie called XX Limited.

Debts do not transfer to directors or shareholders unless a Personal guarantee has been given.

Dancingsquirrels · 23/10/2025 07:16

GlasgowGal2014 · 22/10/2025 23:27

OP, there is no such thing as a 'minor' and 'major' director as far as companies law is concerned, and there's no such thing as being a director 'on paper'. You are listed as a director on Companies House, which means that you and your husband are jointly and severally liable for any responsibilities relating to the company. In order words you are both share the responsibility for any liabilities and you can also each be held individually responsible for any debts. Unless you are willing to take those responsibilities seriously you need to get in touch with Companies House to remove yourself as a director. You are still liable for any debts accrued whilst you were a director so make sure your husband pays up asap. Read him the riot act too, because this type of behaviour could well lead to you losing your home.

These are company debts

OP has no personal liability to pay
debts owed by the Limited company

Dancingsquirrels · 23/10/2025 07:18

He could set up a direct debit to pay VAT, easy peasy

LupinLou · 23/10/2025 07:40

Wham83 · 22/10/2025 16:47

Yes, we have a joint account and I manage all of the household bills etc, we both pay into the joint account to cover household expenses. There isn’t anything else he’s lax about, his personal finances are all upto date, no credit cards etc. it’s all taken care of by DD so no thought needed, but with the tax and vat he has to physically log on and pay it via HMRC or companies house etc, and that’s where it falls down - he just doesn’t do it even though he knows it needs to be done. There are 100 other things to do that it gets pushed to the back of the pile to do later, and then he forgets until reminders come through and I get annoyed.

Edited

I've paid corporation tax, employers PAYE liability and VAT in the past couple of months. None have involved logging on to HMRC. I just pay direct from the business bank account.

Whatsthatsheila · 23/10/2025 08:33

Iwilladmit · 23/10/2025 07:14

No - assuming the company is a limited liability company, ie called XX Limited.

Debts do not transfer to directors or shareholders unless a Personal guarantee has been given.

Ahh thanks for clarifying this. It was something I was worrying about for OP

thisishowloween · 23/10/2025 09:00

LupinLou · 23/10/2025 07:40

I've paid corporation tax, employers PAYE liability and VAT in the past couple of months. None have involved logging on to HMRC. I just pay direct from the business bank account.

You can also download the HMRC app and it tells you exactly what needs to be paid and when.

Hoppinggreen · 23/10/2025 09:24

Iwilladmit · 23/10/2025 07:14

No - assuming the company is a limited liability company, ie called XX Limited.

Debts do not transfer to directors or shareholders unless a Personal guarantee has been given.

Or there has been mismanagement

Iwilladmit · 23/10/2025 22:08

Hoppinggreen · 23/10/2025 09:24

Or there has been mismanagement

The debt doesn’t transfer in the case of mismanagement.

If a legal claim is brought against the directors for antecedent transactions (a lot more than mismanagement) then one outcome can be that the court directs them to make recompense to the company (or its creditors) for the loss caused. But the OP is a long long way from that situation.

Hoppinggreen · 24/10/2025 09:12

Iwilladmit · 23/10/2025 22:08

The debt doesn’t transfer in the case of mismanagement.

If a legal claim is brought against the directors for antecedent transactions (a lot more than mismanagement) then one outcome can be that the court directs them to make recompense to the company (or its creditors) for the loss caused. But the OP is a long long way from that situation.

I know but lots of people were saying that OP and her H cannot be held responsible for debt in a LTD company and it is not that simple. In some circumstances they can

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