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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you would do? (AKA why are neighbours sometimes so unpleasant!)

26 replies

Pleasethankyou · 22/10/2025 07:56

We have a long thin garden. It’s wild but accessible at the end.

Went to the back of it today to discover the people who live at the bottom have stuck scaffolding on our property, cut down some of our trees (left the waste for us to deal with) and pulled down our garden fence so they can do some work on their house?

This is a what would you do? We’ve lived here about 5 years never spoken to them, consider ourselves to be decent people, aren’t hard to get hold of. Have a great relationship with both of our next door neighbours (feed pets, take parcels and so on.

I am completely flummoxed by this I can’t honestly ever imagine ripping into someone else’s property (outside of an emergency) and are kind of traumatised as a base having been hounded out of our last house by terrible chavs who were full on throwing things into our property, getting their kid to follow our kid around calling her names and yes ripped down our garden fence so they could build themselves a seating area outside our kitchen window (on their property houses were close)

TIA for advice!

OP posts:
Princesspollyyy · 22/10/2025 07:59

Do you know what? It’s wrong what they have done but it’s a nightmare having problems with neighbours and you've experienced this previously.

if it’s not affecting your day to day life, I would just leave it.

Goodadvice1980 · 22/10/2025 08:00

Take photos and go and speak to them about what they’ve allegedly done. Ask them if they know how the damage occurred (& record the conversation on your mobile).

Do you have any photos of the area before? Sadly some neighbours see where they live as a personal fiefdom, go and stand your ground in case they try anything else!

katmarie · 22/10/2025 08:06

We have scaffolding up at the moment and its had to go into both neighbours gardens to be able to be put up. We contacted the neighbours in advance, got their permission, and had to tell the scaffolders that we had permission before they would put it up.

I would have a think about what you want the outcome to be here. Do you want the scaffolding removed and the area made good? Or do you just want the neighbours to tell you how long it will be there? What you want to happen will inform what you would do next I think.

If you want it removed and the area made good, then i would do the following: write a letter to your neighbour, telling them the scaffolding needs to be removed as it was erected without permission on your land. Document all of the damage done, get a quote for repairing it. Add that to the letter and stick it through the neighbours door. Go have a look at the front of the scaffolding, there is usually a sign with the name of the scaffolders on it. Call the company, tell them it was erected on your land without permission, tell them it needs to be removed, and send them a copy of the quote for the repair too.

Its a nuclear option though, you will likely piss off the neighbours a lot (but you have every right to in my opinion). You might be best served by going and having a conversation with them first, but tbh if they have already caused damage, then they have no right to expect you to be nice about it.

NConthe · 22/10/2025 08:09

They’ve pulled your fence down?! Go speak to them and ask what on earth possessed them

herbalteabag · 22/10/2025 08:11

I would expect them to pay for a new fence. I would also challenge them about the cut trees, unless it was just overhanging branches. If the trees are completely gone, I would expect new mature ones planted. I would go to them and explain all this.

herbalteabag · 22/10/2025 08:12

Scaffolding wise, the company is supposed to check. When my neighbours had scaffolding the estate agent (next door was rented) checked with me if it was ok, and also the scaffolding company checked on the day before they erected it.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 22/10/2025 08:14

Invoice them for the daily use of your garden.
Contact the scaffolding company and insist they move it..
Send them links to the new fencing you want
Absolute cheeky fuckers.
What next patio at the bottom of the garden for their use only?

TheFormidableMrsC · 22/10/2025 08:15

Princesspollyyy · 22/10/2025 07:59

Do you know what? It’s wrong what they have done but it’s a nightmare having problems with neighbours and you've experienced this previously.

if it’s not affecting your day to day life, I would just leave it.

What? You’d just allow people to use and violate your property and say nothing? Don’t be silly.

pictoosh · 22/10/2025 08:19

"Can I ask why you have dismantled our fence and chopped down trees without asking us if it was ok to do so?"
Calm, polite, neutral. You're making a genuine enquiry.

See what they say.

Original poster
Pleasethankyou · 22/10/2025 08:20

Thanks for replying everyone, we’re traumatised after dealing with the last lot whose behaviour just escalated and escalated every time we tried to ignore it.

I’m pissed they made no effort to get in touch at all and yeah concerned about what’s happening to the fence.

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 22/10/2025 08:36

I know you don't want to end up at war with them after your last neigjbours were so nasty but you do need to speak to them Op, if you don't they'll think you're not bothered about the damage.

IOweMySanityToBasilParsley · 22/10/2025 08:38

How long is your garden that you didn't notice scaffolding being built on it?

Newgirls · 22/10/2025 08:42

Wow! That’s outrageous! Possibly they didn’t know who to contact or the scaffolders got carried away. Go round and ask the neighbours but try and stay incredibly calm. Then follow up with legal letter etc

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · 22/10/2025 08:48

IOweMySanityToBasilParsley · 22/10/2025 08:38

How long is your garden that you didn't notice scaffolding being built on it?

This isn't the point.
The neighbours have trespassed on @Pleasethankyou 's property and caused damage, including cutting down some of her trees, which is particularly galling as trees are living entities.
@Pleasethankyou I'd be furious but I'd try and approach it with a cool head and go in looking reasonable and see what they have to say for themselves. But I definitely wouldn't ignore it, it's too outrageous, fences, trees and scaffolding - they are treating your property as if they think they own it, which needs nipping in the bud ASAP.
Please let us know how it goes. How many trees have they destroyed? This is the bit that would really upset me. 🌳

Danikm151 · 22/10/2025 08:48

Knock on their door and ask them why this has happened.
Explain they should have asked permission and you want the fence put back up and trees replaced.

If your garden is overgrown they probably thought you wouldn’t be bothered- they still should have asked you.

Luckyingame · 22/10/2025 08:49

Yes, OP.
I think it's mostly everyone for themselves, dog eat dog etc. 😁
Current climate doesn't help much.

Goldbar · 22/10/2025 08:51

I would tell them that they need to remove the scaffolding, restore your fence and compensate you appropriately for the cut down trees, or you will be reporting them to the police for criminal damage.

I would also suggest that they consider making a large donation to a tree-planting charity to restore their status as decent human beings rather than complete worms.

Original poster
Pleasethankyou · 22/10/2025 11:00

IOweMySanityToBasilParsley · 22/10/2025 08:38

How long is your garden that you didn't notice scaffolding being built on it?

It’s complicated it is long and thin it’s also terraced and the last terrace is quite high we were standing on the level below and didn’t notice until we went right up to that level.
dh has been away and I have been unwell,

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 22/10/2025 11:50

I'm wondering if they think the fence actually belongs to them, if it's on the border between the two properties. Are you 100% certain the fence is your property? Is it shown on your house deeds?

Also, are you sure the owners actually know that their builders have done this - are they living in the property while it's being renovated?

I think you need to have a conversation with them but start from a calm and polite point of 'Hi, we came home yesterday to find the fence has been taken down and trees that belong to us have been removed - also there's scaffolding attached to your house. As far as we're aware, that fence and those trees aren't actually your property - did you know your builders had done this? They also didn't tell us about the scaffolding so it seems something's gone wrong here that we need to sort out between us.'

PinkElephants356 · 22/10/2025 11:55

Just a thought but do you think it’s possible the neighbours may not be aware of what the scaffolding company has done?

GasPanic · 22/10/2025 11:56

Goodadvice1980 · 22/10/2025 08:00

Take photos and go and speak to them about what they’ve allegedly done. Ask them if they know how the damage occurred (& record the conversation on your mobile).

Do you have any photos of the area before? Sadly some neighbours see where they live as a personal fiefdom, go and stand your ground in case they try anything else!

Seeing where you live/the property you own as your own personal fiefdom is fine.

Seeing where someone else lives/owns as your own personal fiefdom isn't.

Greenwitchart · 22/10/2025 11:57

OP first of all you need to check who owns that fence.

For example, I live in a terrace house and the fence on the right of my garden is mine and mine to maintain but not on the left. That might be why they took it down and cut the hedges without asking you.

If that is not the case then speak or write to them about it.

I also picked up on your use of the word ''wild' when you describe your garden. Could it be that you let your hedge and trees get out of control and that this damaged the fence and was causing a nuisance?

I would take this as an opportunity to clean up your garden as well while you are also asserting yourself and your boundaries with your neighbours.

TheNoonBell · 22/10/2025 11:59

If you don't do anything they can take adverse possession after 10-12 years and steal that land off you.

Original poster
Pleasethankyou · 22/10/2025 23:05

Hi team thanks just to clarify a few things neighbours are home, garden is a bit of a wildflower meadow appearance to encourage bees, it has mid-calf grass, lovely wildflowers, apple trees and a swing set. I think of it as a lovely bucolic place, in reality it is a small strip of land that we are trying to make pretty. As an example if they had asked us we would have said oh great how about we tidy up down there then take the waste down your straight level drive rather than down and round all our terraces. No even the waste has been dumped in our garden to deal with.

There can be no possible misunderstanding where the boundary is, the whole street is in a straight line.

The scaffolding has been put up to work on their house they probably did the tree work themselves they certainly would have had to authorise it, they are able to get to the back of their house and work on it so it’s pretty impossible to think they had no idea.

I checked again and it really is impossible to see what they had done until you go right up there, they worked on the trees behind the scaffolding so it looks like the scaffolding is behind our trees ie on their property. It’s only when you get onto that level you can see it in our garden.

OP posts:
Givenupshopping · 22/10/2025 23:33

OP, can I suggest that before you do anything, you check your household insurance, and see if you have 'Legal Cover', if you do, then I would recommend you call the company, they mostly have a 24 hour helpline in operation, and get some proper advice. If they then suggest going round and speaking to them, I think that 'BauhausOfEliot's' suggestion (quoted below) is a very good way of handling it, as you're not making any form of accusation, which will immediately get their backs up, even though they are the ones it the wrong:

'I think you need to have a conversation with them but start from a calm and polite point of 'Hi, we came home yesterday to find the fence has been taken down and trees that belong to us have been removed - also there's scaffolding attached to your house. As far as we're aware, that fence and those trees aren't actually your property - did you know your builders had done this? They also didn't tell us about the scaffolding so it seems something's gone wrong here that we need to sort out between us.'

With any luck, this will result in a helpful response rather than all out war, which as you've said, is the last thing you want or need.

Good luck, and do come back and tell us how you get on.