College classmate has it in for me?

[DeflatedInDerby]

This is what it feels like, anyway. I’ve got rock bottom self-esteem so I don’t really trust myself anymore.

I’ve just started a short (6 months ish) college course. Just trying to build my confidence a bit, really. It involves a lot of small group work and this woman just looks at me like I’m stuck to her shoe the whole time. She talks over me, and if I get a word in she seems to feel compelled to argue with or one-up me; I could say grass is green and she’d argue. She is very nitpicky and critical of everything I do.

I feel like I could live with it if I knew she was like it with everyone, but if anything she seems to really suck up to the others.

It’s the second week of the course and I’m sitting here biting my nails about class tomorrow, going over everything I’ve said to her, wondering if I could have inadvertently said or done something to antagonise her, but I’m coming up with nothing.

I KNOW this is an overreaction, but it’s left me wanting to quit. I just could have done with this being a confidence boost and something I could look forward to, but instead it’s now yet another thing to dread. There’s nothing I can do about it, really; it’s not an ‘ask to be moved’ sort of situation. Maybe this is less an AIBU (I think I probably am!) and more a ‘have you experienced this and how did you handle it?’.

I feel so sad about it. I just needed something to work out for once.

You may not have been quite ready to 'get back out into the world just yet' OP, but you're there now, and have presumably paid for the course, so please DO NOT QUIT!! Brave it out, follow the advice people here have given you, and don't let her get more out of the course than you do. By that I mean, don't let her be the one who gets to lead the group, just because she speaks louder, or is more pushy, you likely have just as much to contribute, and possibly more, don't be a wallflower, speak up, and show her, and everyone else that you have just as much right to be heard as she has.

If she talks over you, do you feel strong enough to apologise and say you are softly spoken so she must not have realised you hadn’t finished speaking. Ask her if she is okay to let you finish your sentence.
if she says no, then next time she does it, try to be strong enough to say you hadn’t finished. As she didn’t let you finish last time, you are now having your turn and then it’s her turn.
if she then has a go at you, try saying you consider turn taking to be polite. Today isn’t the first time she has talked over you and you are sure she doesn’t want to come over as rude but is there a reason why she doesn’t it.
honestly, if she then goes on and insults you, just say, well that really wasn’t polite was it and smile. After that, raise it with a tutor as it will be the only way to get the woman in line

Please don't think of giving up your course because of this woman. Have you ever tried asking ChatGPT for help? They can give you really good advice on how to frame the way you speak to her. I took its advice over how to approach something difficult with a sibling and it was a really really useful tool. I think it's a good idea to channel somebody who you really admire and just behave how you think they would behave. I'd go for Michelle Obama!

Someone took a dislike to me when I did a college course. Everyone got on quite well and we had to pair up every week with different people. There were only 3 men and about 15 women. The guys and some of the women used to go out at the weekends sometimes. One day I was talking to the tutor at the end of the class and this woman barged in front of me and asked the tutor if she'd like to go out with them on the next night out. She turned to me and said "Not you!" And gave me a dirty look. I just laughed and said oh ok. But I was quite shocked as it seemed unnecessary. When I was doing a presentation she talked loudly through it and said it was boring. I just ignored her and carried on but the tutor told her to be quiet and stop being rude.

I enjoyed the course and needed to keep going as my mum had recently died and it was taking my mind of it for a couple of hours a week. I don't know what I did but sometimes people are just odd and weird and unpleasant and are not worth your energy getting upset over or trying to appease. It can take a while to settle into a college course and people do drop out and people work with others so you may not be with this person as much. I would say that maybe she seems a bit threatened by you and is insecure or maybe she's just a rude cow. Don't give up yet - see what happens. You have done well taking the first step and I wish you all the best.