Do you let you children hold infants?

[bloomsnlooms]

I sit with my daughter when she wants to hold her brother who is 10mo. It’s never unsupervised and my husband told me he doesn’t want her to hold him. She is 8 I didn’t think her holding him for a while would be an issue.

I remember holding my siblings as well. That’s why I was confused when he said something. It’s such a sweet thing and could never tell her she can’t hold him again.

You’ve got a “D”H problem. So sad to hear that he doesn’t want your daughter, (who is 8!) to hold her brother! At 10 months babies are very robust, she really doesn’t need close supervision. Imagine what happens with a toddler and a 10 month old…

You've got a dh problem. I'd be watching his behaviour towards your dd very closely.

Letting siblings hold the baby is entirely normal. Giving your wife the silent treatment for refusing to exclude her dd, not so much.

Ime things won't improve. Does he resent dd in any other ways?

When I was 8 I carried my baby cousin, fed her and changed her nappies! Your husband is being very weird 😐

My 5 year old holds my 1 year old!! She totes him around in fact 😆

My DC’s have a bit of an age gap so by 8 my DS was carrying round my DD. He picked her up with supervision from being a baby. They’re still close now.
Your partner is projecting his resentment onto your DC. That needs to stop or it’ll affect the whole family dynamic.

No that’s why him saying that confused me. I’m not sure how he expected her to never hold him.

This. From when my toddler could crawl, her brother was very useful for hoiking her around. Saved me getting up from the sofa! I could just shout "Intercept baby!" and he'd be on it.

And there's the answer. He doesn't want YOUR child holding HIS baby. This will be an issue in the future.

Our son held his baby sister since coming home from hospital - 3yrs between them. Always supervised for safety.
Even now at nearly 8 and 5 he's always cuddling her and picking her up, they're absolutely best friends.

Sadly I think this probably is an issue that he is trying to push "your" child away from "his" child. I hope I'm wrong, but my neighbour had a 5 year old and a 1 year old and the 5 year old was pretty good at holding the 1 year old. Unless your DP has had a very traumatic incident, I cannot imagine he'd really think there was anything wrong with this situation.

I would watch very carefully OP. He is favouring his child. It may be because he is the biological child or it may be because it’s a boy but he is making it obvious who he prefers. Does he belittle her? Is he good at giving her attention as well, spending one on one time with her?

He doesn’t spend as much time with her as I would like him to. His reasoning is because ds requires more attention. Which doesn't make sense I spend equal time with everyone and when ds go down for naps I spend qt with just her. We even cook together and that’s something we all can do together.

As long as the parent is next to the children,it's fine

A 8 year old with a 10 month old supervised is fine. If it was a 3 year old with a newborn I'd be more cautious.

Personally I hate seeing babies lifted by children. I see them struggling to hold them as the younger child wriggles and everyone smiles on. I just don’t get it.

What magical 10month old are you having that sits nicely to be held 😅 once my feral babies could move about they refused to be held!
Surely at this age she is mature enough to understand he is fragile, and he is old enough to sit independently, roll, move about the floor etc. I don't really see the problem. My 2.5YO tries to "carry" his 7month old brother all the time. Or "helps" him roll, which is hilarious. Your OH has PFB vibes, mixed with a bit of arseholeness regarding your DD x

Of course. My 7 year old helped his baby sister when she was carsick and choked. A sensible child is more than capable of holding a baby.