Hello
I live with my partner of 4 years. We used to live 1 hr apart and we would split our time together (he would come to mine during week and I'd stay with him every weekend). He bought his house with his ex and he has said it isn't his dream house and it isn't suitable for us (location etc) I agreed and have fuelled these chats too. I do have a problem it was bought with an ex because I wouldn't of picked the house and I hate the location. I have moved an hr away from my family and friends whereas he doesn't really socialise. He made it clear he wouldn't move closer to me as he doesnt want to live in or near a city he wants semi rural. We both agreed he would finish his house projects and he woulld sell. I then fell pregnant and it did give him motivation to do some work he didn't complete it.
Whenever I have family or friends coming over, in the lead up to it, he makes it unbearable. Constant moaning about the state of the house, that there isn't the time to do everything etc
Since having our baby it has highlighted to me even more how much I dislike the house. I just want a house that is ours. A house we buy together. He constantly says he wants to sell but needs the time to do the work. He seems to make the time to spend with us everyday but he wont prioritise the house. Last week I told him I was starting to feel resentment as I feel trapped in a house I absoultely hate. We then came up with schedule, ie I would do almost all housework during day with baby, we would eat dinner as soon as he finished work and then he would spend time working on house. Yesterday was day 1 of this plan. I done all the housework as agreed. He said he would make dinner (it was putting burgers and chips in air fryer for 12 minutes). By the time we ate and cleared up, it was 3 hours later. I brought this up and said he had to be quicker, he said there were other things to do in house and he had to see to his cats. He had a meltdown telling me how stressed he was, I done my best to reason wit him ans we came up with a revised plan for today.
He told me he'd finish work between 530/6. He then said during the day it would be 530 as he is on track to finish on time. Then at 520 he came downstairs to tell me he still had lots to do as the cats distracted him. I lost it. I didn't mean to. I have so much resentment at the moment and I am busting my gut doing everything I can and then "his cats distract him". I ended up saying it was over, he has trapped me etc I then called him fat which I didnt mean. I feel aoo much anger and resentment. We both agreed we would move after he does house projects but he doesn't start or finish them. He is adamant he has to do said projects to get a maximum return but won't give me a deadline or date and keeps saying he has no time.
Pleade dont say he should leave me after my comment. I hate that I've said it. Has anyone felt similar, js it easy to come back from resentment?
Thanks