To ask if your four year old is like this?

[ploddingthroughtheevening]

We’re trying to watch a film and he keeps standing directly in front of the TV.

I keep asking him to move and he does but then goes back literally seconds later.

I’ve asked so many times for him to stop doing it, I’m boring myself.

Does he actually want to watch it? My 4YO would do that if he was bored with the film.

Is he standing in front of it to watch it himself, or to stop you watching it?

Oh yeah, and stop asking him and start telling him.

My 4yo DD did this for a bit.

If the film is of his choosing- 1 warning, then turn it off.

If the film is something you want to watch- put him on the naughty chair/ send him to his room for a few mins; repeat until he stops doing it.

It doesn’t really make a difference what is on to be honest.

I would turn it off but the whole point is he’s stopping other people seeing the TV. So turning it off is punishing them.

I don’t think he’s intentionally stopping people watching it @strawgoh but he is and the frequency I have to ask / tell (both make no difference) is worrying me a bit, it’s like he doesn’t understand that he’s spoiling things for others, or doesn’t care.

Is he standing in front facing the tv, so just getting really close to watch? If so, is his eyesight ok?

Or is he standing in front and facing you?

Maybe he just wants someone to give him some attention rather than watch tv?

I am pretty sure his eyes are OK. He isn’t always right in front of it, it’s like he just keeps gravitating to the same spot.

I have found him frustrating as hell in some respects and this is really bothering me, it’s just rude and no matter how many times he is told he just keeps doing it.

I haven’t said that we only watch TV. He does a range of different activities - I really try hard to ensure my children do different things, spend time outdoors, we read a lot, go to farms, museums, plays and walks. But we do watch TV, as do most people sometimes and it would be nice to be able to do so without him ruining other people’s enjoyment. I do feel four (nearly five actually) is old enough to understand this.

Has he had a hearing test?

His hearing is a concern actually but I don’t think it is linked to his hearing.

To give an example, he is finishing watching something with just me now. He’s sat quite happily with me. But when others are there he just ambles around the room endlessly. The lounge is small and he circles the same bit - in front of the television - I don’t exactly think it’s on purpose (although I’m now wondering) but I do think there’s an element of being annoying on purpose.

What about his hearing is a concern? Is it that he doesn’t respond to things as you’d expect?

I’m only saying because my son does this and he is (most probably) autistic. He is 6 and we have tried and tried to stop him, I paused every time he stood up for so long! But I think for him there’s a total lack of awareness that he is ruining it for everyone else. No amount of consistent parenting has made a difference. We now let him sit on a spinning chair (which is annoying in a different way) but in reality very rarely watch things due to the arguments from older sister.

I’m not saying that’s the case for your son but the hearing thing made me wonder …

My friends child does this but he’s autistic?

I would turn it off but the whole point is he’s stopping other people seeing the TV. So turning it off is punishing them.

Then start parenting him!

To answer your question, no, none of my 4 year olds were like that because they'd get asked once and then told.

If they tried it again they would face consequences and they knew it.

Time to turn the TV off

As the OP has said, that's not fair on the others who he is trying to stop from watching it.

It's time to tell him what the consequences/punishment will be if he doesn't pack it in.

And then stick to it.

In that case I’d give him the choice of- sitting and watching the film nicely, playing something else in the same room but quietly and not in the way e.g. lego on the floor or going to his room.

@SpinningTops funnily enough we did have one of those chairs here for a while as it belonged to a friend and he loved it.

I don’t think hes autistic but the lack of awareness does worry me. I am not sure how to gauge what’s normal. I’ve really noticed lately when I’m trying to tell him something important (relatively so, something like ‘ds, you’re going on a walk with school this morning so I’ve put your hat in your bag’) he just carries on talking over me, going on and on about something. I never used to notice it but maybe I was sort of immune to it. He doesn’t do it all the time and I do think that it’s an attention thing. He doesn’t get enough individual attention, I know that. So when he’s got my attention he likes to keep it. So frustrating though.

@OptiMumm you’re just rude and I’ve no time at all for rudeness, sorry,

What programme is it? Are there any he likes?

Thinking about it it’s definitely when I’m sat on the sofa with his sister. He ambles around the room. I don’t think it’s deliberate which is why I’m loath to go down the route of consequences and so on. All that will do is upset him and sour our relationship. I thought it was one of those things where just polite reminders would do but it happened so often the other day I was getting a bit irritable.

I think he probably doesn’t want to sit down because of her and so ambles awkwardly around. This also explains why he sits fine with just me.

Hes got a bit taller lately so he’s more of an obstruction. So can’t say for sure how long it’s been going on for.

My almost 4yo wouldn't do that, because he would be sent to his room.

I am in a bit of an upset mood tonight but it is rather coming across with that comment that he wouldn’t do it because you are a better parent than I am. That may be true and I don’t know, I don’t know you. But my instinct is not to send him away at the moment. I don’t feel the behaviour is deliberate for one and that’s why it’s worrying me, but for another, I think a lot of the behaviour is driven by feeling perhaps a bit pushed out and being sent to his room would obviously exacerbate this.

Every time he doesn’t. Take his hand and move him, get him to sit down again preferably or go elsewhere to do something else. I would suggest that he is mostly completely oblivious to where he is in relation to other people. 4 year olds have very little spatial awareness especially when distracted in anyway such as by a screen. I teach this age range, they are constantly walking into other people, treading on other people, tripping over other people…… this behaviour is very normal from young children.

Thanks @Smartiepants79 , this is helpful to know.

My 5 year old is like that, she doesn’t have the concentration span to sit and watch a whole film and just won’t sit through it’d she’s up wondering around or playing, dancing in the room. I’m not sure what’s normal as she’s likely got ADHD and/ASD, but I’m not sure I’d expect a 4 year old to be able to sit through a film.