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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you let a 8 and 9 year old look in a shop on their own?

42 replies

wheeliebinrun · 21/10/2025 11:55

If you were in the shop next door which didn’t interest them and there was a shop next door that they wanted to look in.
Would you let them look in the shop while you were next door?

OP posts:
JadziaD · 21/10/2025 12:04

Too many variables that I can't answer here.

Where are the shops? Are these two random shops in a quiet area or two shops in a busy mall?

Are the children sensible? Can you trust them to stay together? Do they know what to do in the case of an emergency - ie will they scream if someone grabs them, do they know to walk away and not worry about being rude if someone talks to them inappropriately, if a fire alarm goes off do they know to follow instructions an dmeet you outside?

What kind of shop is it? Frankly, a toy shop, filled with parents and other kids and staff used to having small chidren around, fine. A shop selling bone china ornaments... perhaps not.

Do they have your phone numner if for some reason you get separated? Are they confident enough to find someone to ask to use a phone?

MuffinCCHeeler · 21/10/2025 12:07

I may have let a 7 and 10 year old look in pets at home whilst I was doing a return in the store next door. Really depends on the shop and the children’s personalities.

Original poster
wheeliebinrun · 21/10/2025 12:08

It would be in a town centre and we might go in a clothes shop and they might ask to look in the works or somewhere next door while we look at shoes or something. Also we might be in a big shop like the range and they might say can we go and look at the toys while you look at wallpaper?
Older one is very sensible and they would stay together.

OP posts:
WhatMe123 · 21/10/2025 12:14

No still too young I'd say . My dd1 is nearly 9 and I trust her but I don't necessarily trust others around her that may also be in the shop maybe it's the job I do but no you just don't know who's who and they are still little really aren't they
I'd let them look at another part of the shop where i could see or hear them but not next door no

BallerinaRadio · 21/10/2025 12:16

Not worth the risk for me

JadziaD · 21/10/2025 12:16

Then sure, I'd allow this personally. But these things are all about assessing the risk. My children learnt mine and DH's phone numbers by heart whent hey were tiny. They've been ecouraged to go up and ask for help or to purchase things independenly from very young. They know in a shopping environment that any problems and they should go straight to a worker.

DD is in year 6, so 10, and goes to the local mall with her two besties and wanders around alone now. But I wouldn't have allowed DS to do that with his bestie at the same age - he had to be a bit older becuase they were entirely likely to break something or do something stupid! Grin

xterde · 21/10/2025 12:17

No I wouldn't. With an older sibling of about 11 maybe. I let my 8 year old stay in mcdonaldss with my 12 year old whilst I quickly go to the little Tesco opposite but i definitely wouldn't leave him alone yet.

LandSharksAnonymous · 21/10/2025 12:19

A small shop in a high-street in a cute little village like Holt or Rye or Bourton-On-The-Water? Yes.

Town centre somewhere like Croydon, Hastings or King's Lynn? Absolutely not.

Original poster
wheeliebinrun · 21/10/2025 12:20

I think it’s the younger one I’m hesitant about because the 9 year old walks home from school on her own and does know my phone number but although she would be with her sister and they’d look at things together she wouldn’t be looking after her as they’re both young

OP posts:
VictorianScreenTime · 21/10/2025 12:21

Yes but to be fair I live in a relatively small town and the bookshop staff know us. DC are also sensible and would follow instructions not to mess about and to stay in there till I came to get them.

NuffSaidSam · 21/10/2025 12:21

As always it depends on the child and the situation, but generally, yes, an eight and nine year old should be able to do this.

I think a good measure is to look forward a couple of years, think where you expect them to be then and work backwards to see if this is a reasonable stepping stone. Most children should be able to commute to secondary school alone, which is likely to include a train/tube/bus, a walk, crossing roads etc. If I'm expecting an 11 year old to do all of that, should they be able to be in a shop next door/different part of the shop at 9? Absolutely, yes.

Being too risk averse doesn't do children any favours in the long term.

Original poster
wheeliebinrun · 21/10/2025 12:21

LandSharksAnonymous · 21/10/2025 12:19

A small shop in a high-street in a cute little village like Holt or Rye or Bourton-On-The-Water? Yes.

Town centre somewhere like Croydon, Hastings or King's Lynn? Absolutely not.

A row of shops in a small market town.

OP posts:
NameChangeForThisQuestionOnly · 21/10/2025 12:27

On their own in another shop out of sight - no. But I would expect an 8/9 year old to be able to tolerate waiting patiently with me while I browsed a shop that didn’t interest them. Presumably you are not in there for hours! They can wait with you, behaving well, and then you can take them to the other shop afterwards.

Ablondiebutagoody · 21/10/2025 12:27

Yes. Why not?

TotHappy · 21/10/2025 12:34

Crumbs, of course yes I would. If I wasn't going to be ages.

Cougarintown · 21/10/2025 12:35

I would and I do.

After DH and I read "the anxious generation" it massively changed how much freedom and responsibility we give our kids.

EmotionallyWeird · 21/10/2025 12:45

Yes, unless it was a sex shop (which probably wouldn't let them in anyway).

I'm sure most children had been into a shop on their own by that age when I was a kid.

tripleginandtonic · 21/10/2025 13:08

Of course. Mine went to the shop on their own in kS2.

OhDear111 · 21/10/2025 13:10

Yes. Of course.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 21/10/2025 13:17

Yes. But then I’ve been sending my kids to the shop for a loaf from about 7 or 8 so it wouldn’t even cross my mind not to.
I think my estate is actually a time warp to the 1990s…

PurpleThistle7 · 21/10/2025 13:20

If you aren’t quite ready yet you could work towards it - stand outside while they browse for 10 minutes and see what happens. Reinforce the rules. Get them a way to contact you. Appreciate it’s hard to go from ‘no’ to ‘yes’ abruptly sometimes but you can inch yourself along.

for me - yes. But my son has a watch to call me and my daughter is super sensible and rule following.

Dweetfidilove · 21/10/2025 13:20

What are your children like? Will they be causing grief or behaving well?
My nephew used to go into the game store while we shopped, then we'd pick him up not long after.

Sarah539 · 21/10/2025 13:21

No, I'd tell them that if there were sensible while I looked in the one shop then I'd take them to have a look in the shop they wanted to go in. I would let them go alone from 11.

I was risk adverse with DS and he now loves living in a shared house, working and doing a degree. It didn't have any negative impact and really isn't a big deal to wait a couple more years before you let them go off alone. There are still plenty of years left for them to become increasingly independent.

TeaRoseTallulah · 21/10/2025 13:22

Yes, at 9 ds was walking to school by himself and after stopped off at the corner shop on the way home.

A china shop...no 🤣

Sarah539 · 21/10/2025 13:27

Cougarintown · 21/10/2025 12:35

I would and I do.

After DH and I read "the anxious generation" it massively changed how much freedom and responsibility we give our kids.

Hopefully you keep them well away from smart phones and SM too. Much more important than whether they go in a shop or not IMO.