To not want to combine accounts

[NeedingAGoodNap]

My partner and I have been discussing how finances will work once we get married. She is very keen on joining all accounts and everything going into one pot. I am not so keen. I originally wanted to keep a separate savings account each but she isn’t comfortable with this approach. I felt this was reasonable and her not being flexible with this has made me more cautious.

I earn significantly more (a bit over double) and have a 5 year old daughter from a pervious relationship from whom I am the main caregiver. Our local area (in Australia) doesn’t have great schools so my daughter will be attending a private school which is a large financial commitment.

As a women with a child, I feel much more comfortable keeping our finances more separated. I am happy to have joint accounts for everyday house hold expenses, mortgage, and holidays and would obviously contribute more money to these accounts. However, I want my own savings. I also feel like my partner spends too much money at times (expensive taste in clothes, food, entertainment etc)

AIBU to insist on this?

You absolutely must get this sorted before you get married.
You are totally right to protect some of your money in a separate account due to your DC's financial commitments.
After you've taken your DC's FC into account, then work out the ratio split into a common pot/account for household expenses.
I've always had a separate account, separate savings account and a joint account for bills.
So you work out your average bills pm plus a bit extra then take into account what each of you earns and work out the ratio. Neither of you should feel hard done by. Neither of you should benefit from the situation, unless it's agreed.

Your approach is very reasonable, however maybe consider that it probably wouldn't feel nice for her to feel like she has to scrounge while you're swimming in it.

That doesn't mean you should have joint finances. I also have dc and not keen to marry for the same reason, my partner has no dc. But maybe worth considering how booking for holidays, days out, luxuried, would work - do you each pay your way, do a ratio, do you pick up more of the tab...

There'll be a different answer for each household. You need to think about what you're willing to accept, then sit down with your partner and figure out if your approaches are compatible.

Also consider how marriage will affect your finances. Whether or not you have joint finances, if you divorce, what would realistically happen ? Each countries have different laws. I don't know how it works in Australia. I'd recommand you talk to a professional about it.

You’re not gonna last.

I would say don’t marry but as you are in Australia don’t they have that ridiculous do habitation rule of 2 years.

I totally get what you are saying. It makes sense to make sure you're child is protected.

I have to ask what's the benefit to you for getting married?
2 become 1 when really you're the one with the child and the higher income.
Are you planning more children?

Does your partner reduce work hours to care for your child?

I bet she’s keen on joint accounts if you’re the higher earner and she likes to spend.
What benefit is there for you? I would be in your position if I ever married again so I wouldn’t. I also kept my income separate when I was married.
If you want to continue to fund your child then you must keep your own accounts. Any spouse should understand this. If she doesn’t, should you really marry?

joint account for bills and expenses. Each puts a percentage of their salary into it each month. The rest of money earned remains in individual’s accounts.

Don't get married

Why are you getting married?

Why do you want to get married?