Childminding grandson. Special time over and im struggling

FascinatingCarrot · 2025-10-20T22:24:52+00:00

I have been so lucky to be able to childmind my grandson 3 days a week since he was a baby, often more Hes just started ft at nursery and thankfully is having a blast. But its been such a hard life change and im struggling badly with missing him. Not sure why im posting really, because his mum had to leave him to go back to work so who tf do I think I am? Any grandparents struggled too?

Redrosesposies · 20/10/2025 23:29

Yes I miss my DGD a lot since she started school even though she lives very close. She comes round quite often though and likes to do the things we used to do.

BethBynnag86 · 21/10/2025 00:06

Yes,very much so.We looked after DGD for the same 2 days every week from the end of DDs Mat Leave to the start of school so I did have a lot of trouble adjusting to the change.

Luckily we see her regularly as they live locally and we still stick to those same two days when we look after her during the school hols,but for a long while I felt a sense of sadness at time moving on (for us both-DGD and me!) and I faced a change in a routine that had become embedded in my life.It also started very soon after my retirement so from that point of view I hadn't really built up much of a new routine for myself before the childminding started.

This was also something that I really didn't get the opportunity to experience with our DD as I went back to work after Mat Leave.

Theroadnottravelled · 21/10/2025 11:48

I feel for you. It’s interesting though, I’d have bitten my parents arms off for 3 days a week childcare. They started doing one day a week for me and now don’t do any (youngest is 3). Curious why they went for FT nursery.

Egregiousabsolute · 21/10/2025 11:52

This makes a refreshing change for mumsnet! I'm sorry you're struggling OP I hope the parents know how lucky they are to have you. My gran was the most important person in my life and she's been gone for many years but I miss her still. It sounds like you have a close and loving relationship with your grandchild and that is such a precious thing.

AndSoFinally · 21/10/2025 11:54

Theroadnottravelled · 21/10/2025 11:48

I feel for you. It’s interesting though, I’d have bitten my parents arms off for 3 days a week childcare. They started doing one day a week for me and now don’t do any (youngest is 3). Curious why they went for FT nursery.

If he’s 3 it’s probably now pre school attached to his future school rather than private nursery. It’s useful they go to this for settling in purposes treat her than just childcare reasons. I imagine its this

PirateDays · 21/10/2025 11:57

Aww OP, it's so lovely to read this and see that you have such a wonderful relationship with your grandson 😊 hope my parents feel this way about having my little girl!

I I'm sure his mum and dad would love you to have him on some Saturdays/Sundays still, or what about a pick-up from nursery where he comes to yours for his tea?

Pollyanna87 · 21/10/2025 12:13

To echo another poster, this is a refreshing change to the usual! Surely his mum and dad will be very happy for you to have him outside of nursery, to give them a break and because you must have a great relationship with DGD?

fudgesmummy · 21/10/2025 12:41

My DH and I looked after our little Grandson for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week from when our DD returned to work when he was 8 months old.
When he was 3 he started at a local preschool 4 days a week but we still dropped him off and picked him up every day and had him all day on the 5th working day.
He started big school in September and we have only seen him (rather briefly at that) twice since then.
I miss him so much it physically hurts 😭
I understand exactly where you are coming from OP

Cougarintown · 21/10/2025 12:42

This is so lovely to read.

FWIW, I'm not a grandma yet but my gran did look after me before I went to school and I do remember those times, I remember her love and warmth and comfort and we had a fantastic relationship for the rest of her life.

Raera · 21/10/2025 12:47

Our family don't live close, but we always looked after both DGS during school holidays, staying with us a few days at a time.
Now they're teenagers and don't need that anymore we really miss them too!

QuickPeachPoet · 21/10/2025 13:04

Perhaps you could be the one to pick him up a couple of times a week and give him tea at your house OP.

I do hope your adult child is grateful for everything you have done so far.

ComfortFoodCafe · 21/10/2025 13:09

Maybe offer the parents if you could pick him up once a week and have dinner at your house? Or offer babysitting services once or twice a month? Win win for all around.

peppaontheyoto · 21/10/2025 13:14

Some of these posts sound like they are said in the same disapproving tone you’d use when an overly enthusiastic child snatches a present. ‘I do hope you have said thank you for that, Oliver.’

There is absolutely nothing to indicate the parents aren’t appreciative.

And some preschools have mandatory attendance. I wouldn’t have wanted to use one but a lot of people do.

ForgetTheTomatoes · 21/10/2025 13:20

My friends parents looked after their DD one day a week as they still both worked part time before retiring. When she started preschool they picked her up at 3pm and took her to their house for dinner and returned her an hour before bedtime. This continued into school but they then had her overnight and walked her to school the next morning.

It was lovely and it gave the parents a guaranteed one night a week break and everyone was happy about it. They lived close to each other so only a 5 minute drive.

Maybe you could pick him up one day a week or still offer babysitting service.

PlioTalk · 21/10/2025 13:20

AndSoFinally · 21/10/2025 11:54

If he’s 3 it’s probably now pre school attached to his future school rather than private nursery. It’s useful they go to this for settling in purposes treat her than just childcare reasons. I imagine its this

Show quote history

This is the likely scenario. My youngest turned 3 last week, he goes to a feeder nursery 3 days per week. It's great for his social development, he's made a lot of lovely little friends, and it's a really positive step towards reception.

Try not to feel sad, OP - try to see it as your grandchild spreading their little wings! You sound like a very loving Nana ❤️

Blarn · 21/10/2025 13:24

Perhaps you can offer to collect him a couple of days a week and then give him dinner. If it's a school nursery the finish time will be about 3? Lots of time to do a bit of playing and have a nice meal.

mrlistersgelfbride · 21/10/2025 13:27

I don’t have anything helpful to say but you sound lovely and your post is very sweet.
I wish my parents were like you, unfortunately after knowing them 40 years I’ve finally realised they never liked looking after children and now they are retired they don’t want anything to stand in the way of their days out. My DD is their only granddaughter and they would do anything not to have her , it’s a real shame.

I’m sure your grandson loves you very much and your relationship will continue to grow as you’ll keep having fun together!

violetpink · 21/10/2025 13:29

We pick the GC up from school and nursery once a week and have them overnight then drop them at their school/nursery next morning. Works well for us as I too felt a little bereft at not seeing them.
Would you consider something similar?

Itsjustnotthevibe · 21/10/2025 13:37

Do you think your daughter really appreciates that you have cared for your DGS but is now trying to give you a break? My parents adore my kids and love looking after them but I am conscious of not taking the piss so I use other childcare even though I know they would do more if asked, they do still take them to school and collect one day a week. Can you maybe offer to collect him a day or a couple of days a week so you still get some time with him? I know my parents would probably feel the same as you if they suddenly didn't my children at all in the week.

Maybeitllneverhappen · 21/10/2025 13:41

I know how you feel. We had my grandson then my granddaughter and now they are at school/preschool and it feels weird having more free time. I do pick ups after school to help out sometimes and do at least one day a week during school holidays. Can you do days in the holidays to make up a bit?

IcouldbutIdontwantto · 21/10/2025 14:13

This is lovely to read OP, but you'll never lose that special time, my mum and in laws did a day a week each of childcare with my DC1 from when they turned one until 6 months before they went to school (as I went on mat leave with DC2). DC1 still adores them and asks when we can see them.

phantomofthepopera · 21/10/2025 15:01

I understand OP. Not my grandson, but I looked after my nephew until he started school. My DB and DSIL then split up and moved away so I only see him a few times a year now, and I miss him dreadfully. Ironically, it’s DSIL who makes far more of an effort to keep in touch than my own DB.

Northcoastmama · 21/10/2025 15:09

@fudgesmummy this is appalling and really bad for him and you! Why have you not been able to see him more, I’m so sad for you and you little grandson

PirateDays · 21/10/2025 15:32

Northcoastmama · 21/10/2025 15:09

@fudgesmummy this is appalling and really bad for him and you! Why have you not been able to see him more, I’m so sad for you and you little grandson

I agree, how have you only see him twice?! Are they not local anymore?

Very sad for you 😔

Original poster

FascinatingCarrot · 21/10/2025 23:56

Wow. I sort of expected a 'you arent his mum' pep talk and got so much support so thank you! Its been so lovely to read that some of you remember those times with your grandparents

To answer a couple of questions,
Hes 3 at 4 days a week pre-school nursery. He's loving it and full of beans and chat when I pick him up a couple of times a week and get my ear chewed off! I share the one day he has off with his other grandparent

I can see him when I want, Im close to his mum and dad, but its a change I didnt expect to be so hard. Its been such a special time, me and him. Soft play, trampolining, treasure hunts and puddle splashing and its hard that its over for just us two, you know?

@fudgesmummy my heart breaks for you. I can only echo what others have said. Is there any way round this? I relate to the physical ache. The spontaneous cuddles are a part of missing him so much arent they?

@phantomofthepopera Im close to my nephew too (now grown up!) Im so sorry you are going through this.

OP posts: