Husband being off with me for getting drunk is unfair - AIBU?

[Blosheen]

Husband has a job where he gets called out last minute. Tbh it doesn’t bother me all that much. Sure, it can be disappointing but we do our best to plan things where there is certainly with his schedule. We are both late 20s.

Recently, we had plans to go out on Saturday night. Husband got called. We hadn’t bought tickets as there were plenty available. I decided to join friends for a night out(group of single girls). I had a fantastic night. Going out and getting drunk had lost its appeal but for whatever reason I really needed a proper girls night out. Anyway, came home in the very early hours. Husband was home. I made sure not to be inconsiderate so got undressed and to bed without too much noise as husband was asleep.

The next day I was nursing a hangover. So the Sunday was a bit of a write off. Husband was off work that day so I do feel bad about that.

Anyway, it was obvious my husband was a bit pissed off as he was acting a bit off. I asked him directly and he thinks I was in the wrong for getting in such a state that it impacted the Sunday. I mean it’s not ideal but I rarely go out and properly get wasted. I don’t see what I did as being terribly wrong. Just I’ll thought out.

Is my husband justified for looking down at me for my behaviour and seeing it as immature (how it feels). I’m a grown woman who pays her own way in life and therefore think I can sort of do as I please as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.

I think he needs to be reminded that he thinks its ok for you to be left in the lurch with no plans when he's called into work on weekends, you making the best of it with a rare night out with one too many drinks should not be an issue.

Unless you have form for getting horribly drunk and he has reason to be concerned about your drinking, he is being unreasonable.

He’s the unreasonable one here IMO. Sometimes nights out just go that way. It sounds like you had fun and haven’t kaiboshed any other commitments or responsibilities. Its not like you do it every weekend.
Do you think he’s jealous? My XH was an arse about a lot of things but a hangover, he’d get me a blanket on the sofa and order a pizza.

Given you are so gracious in regularly (it sounds like) accepting cancelled nights, I think he is BU to be annoyed that in spite of being cancelled on, you had a good night.

In his shoes, I think it’d be an opportunity to treat my partner to some TLC and take care of them. I can’t imagine ever being mad at my DP for a once in a blue moon hangover.

Once in a blue moon is fine.

Maybe he's just disappointed at your cancelled plans and missing out - not that it's right that he takes that out on you in the least.

He's being unreasonable. However, this is MN, where anything other than a thimble of sherry once a year, means you are a raging alcoholic.

Really? I had no idea there was a cut-off age. I wish somebody had told me!

Which to be fair, is how he has been with you.

Idk… I’d have been fine with this at 25 but now I’m 30 I hate when DH comes home late and has a hangover.

Anyway all he did was be a bit cold to you which may just have been because you were hungover and he naturally found that a bit annoying and pathetic. You’re the one who forced him to say why.

Having a hangover is not a necessity. You can have fun and stop drinking before you reach hangover levels. The hangover means you over-indulged.

So yes, I think he is justified in being annoyed. You drank like a teenager that doesn’t know their limits. As long as it’s not a pattern it’s not a big deal, but it’s still not a decision to defend.

Well there are endless threads on here with woman having a go at men doing the same thing so it works both ways

This.

He didn’t cancel your plans for shits and giggles - he had to work. So he was probably looking forward to a day together and was a bit annoyed at you.

It happens.