Grandfather with dementia and possible financial abuse/will change

[Teacup40]

Hi everyone,
My grandfather is in his 90s and after putting himself in some really dangerous situations ( can't go into detail as outing) and obvious confusion we have got a dementia diagnosis.

He clearly has no mental capacity but as I understand it this needs to be assessed separately, my aunt has been pushing to say he has capacity she is next of kin and has been a point of contact for his social worker.

She's told me social worker agrees that dg has capacity and has closed the case but the social worker has not seen him since May his mental and physical decline is recent.

She's saying she wants a lasting power of attorney and has been in touch with solicitors to get a new will drawn up the current will has his deceased wife and my deceased father on it so fathers share would go to me.
Dg is well off, home worth a fair bit and has plenty of savings so I believe she wants it all for herself.

Aunt has never displayed this kind of devious behaviour before and is vulnerable her partner is a narcissist and is doing all the talking/decision making for her.
I think dg needs to be in a care home he is a danger to himself but they don't agree they stand to lose financially if he does.

What can I do? can they change dg will? He made it when he was in his right mind with his wife.
Would a solicitor agree to change it?
I hope this all makes sense I've got a toddler and I'm sleep deprived 🤣 I would really appreciate any help/advise.

I would think your first point to deal
With is her being next of kin. I don’t know if legally she is automatically NOK as his aunt (your aunt?). In your shoes I’d probably seek legal advice to be honest. You don’t mention how old the aunt is. If you can find a way to remove her officially as NOK the problem would be dealt with in its entirety…

If he does apparently have capacity perhaps that would work in your favour in that you could organise him to choose you as POA for example.

I think you need to tread carefully and seek some legal advice, preferably with him present. You could do with being in contact with the social worker aswell and making sure the relevant people involved (gp, nurses, pharmacist) have your number and know who you are.
best of luck. Dementia is awful. You say he is your grandfather (?) - where are his children / your parents? If aunt is NOK they would surely be above her.

Our GP carried out an assessment on my dad when he wanted to change his will in later life. This was at the suggestion of the solicitor he used for the will change to safeguard his choice from a challenge. You could suggest this to your aunt. If the GP assesses that he does not have capacity then you would have grounds to challenge the will at a later date. However if your grandfather is considered to have capacity then I think you need to accept his decision unless you can find evidence of coercion.

Aunt is in her 60s she is his daughter so my aunt. My parents are divorced dad was his son and first born. I've contacted the social worker but instead of coming back to me she went straight to aunt and then aunt relays info back to me but I'm fairly certain what she's saying isn't truthful I've asked to meet with social worker all together with grandfather but she won't do it. I will try again with social worker. I feel like his safety isn't the most important thing to them his money is, which is so sad I'm coming from it the other way if he has to go in a home at least he's safe and looked after if his money gets used up so be it, its his!

He will be presumed to have mental capacity at present because I think you have to prove he doesn't have it and yes I can go for an LPA myself but I'm trying to prove he doesn't have capacity because he really needs to be in a care home and won't agree it to it which I can understand he doesn't want to leave his home but it's just not safe anymore.

I do believe he's being coerced some things he has said have made me suspicious.

Also Dg has been referred to memory clinic as an urgent case but I still think it will take a while, would a social worker doing the assessment be quicker?

If he doesn’t have capacity then you won’t be able to get an LPA and will need to apply to the Court of Protection instead which takes a lot longer to go through.

Can you contact the SW again and say you have concerns about your GF being vulnerable and possibly being taken advantage of? You need to be a bit blunt and also make a nuisance of yourself - a call every couple of weeks won’t cut it, you need to be calling daily till they take action.

Social worker can assess capacity but not diagnose dementia so he absolutely needs Memory Clinic.

My experience is that capacity assessments can be very subjective and some Social workers are very 'well he said he wants this so he has capacity' while others go out of their way to check memory and understanding. If you have the first sort you are a bit stuck.

If he is self funding for a care home, then realistically you aren't going to get him in one without family agreement as he doesn't agree, knows he is at home and has enough capacity to just not get in the car.

For social services funding they are not going to fund it until they have exhausted the home options.

There is no such thing as next of kin in life, just person you are close to and want to handle things. However after death, if your aunt is his oldest surviving child, yes she is next of kin.

If you are really concerned about financial abuse I would report to adult Safeguarding. But bear in mind this won't necessarily give the result you are looking for and will irrevocably split your family.

When I called I didn't know about the will situation I was concerned he wasn't being cared for properly which he isn't he has carers but I'd come to see him after a few weeks of not being able to (was ill and had children off school) and he was in bed completely soiled, so I had to wash him and dress him which i do not mind in the least its not that, its the fact that i cant do it all the time because of family/work etc.
This happened a few times that week. He also was not eating or getting up when I called aunt with my concerns she just wasn't bothered that's why I called them. I will be calling again but will they keep what I say confidential?

If she manages to get LPA, you can go to the Office of the Public Guardian, they oversee these.
Whether they will investigate or take action is another matter entirely.
It seems impossible to stop devious relatives helping themselves, there are no real deterrents.

That would be a safeguarding if the carers aren't doing their jobs properly. Phone social services and say you want to report a safeguarding about potential neglect.
Solicitors will ensure there is a recent capacity assessment prior to doing LPA. If they have concerns about his capacity which is likely from the sound of it, they won't do LPA and you'll have to do court of protection instead.
Good luck

www.gov.uk/guidance/report-a-concern

Coercive control with LPAs can be really hard to prove and do anything about, but definitely still report any concerns

Gp has diagnosed dementia so it's just capacity I'm concerned with but I do unfortunately think it's the first type of social worker he has.
Regarding splitting the family I'm shocked at the behaviour I'm seeing and can no longer trust them but it's still a delicate situation because aunt has mental health issues and has a care package herself, her partner is a bully and she is vulnerable if things don't go his way I worry for her that's why I wonder if they will keep what I say confidential.

You don’t need a solicitor for LPA.
Aunt can do it with a ‘friendly’ witness.
Even though the forms are supposed to be signed/witnessed in a particular order, there’s no actual way of ensuring that.

It's not the carers to be honest it's the fact that grandad has asked them not to come till after 11am but he wakes at 9 and if he's had an accident will just lie in it till they arrive. He will often refuse to be washed if soiled when the last carer of the day arrives so then will be lying in it all night. But I will be speaking to adult social care again.

I’ve found if relatives are devious and get old/dying people to change the will in their favour, then nothing can be done, they just get away with it. You can detest a will but it costs multiple of thousands and it’s likely you will still get nowhere. We need new laws to prevent this really but we don’t.

That's my worry I saw a form on the government website that said as much.

I should also add that aunt is classed as main carer but does no caring it's me who will help him to the toilet, make sure he is clean has food etc in between carers.

It’s a bit late to be getting LPA if he has a formal dementia diagnosis. If your Aunt does manage to do this (she doesn’t need a solicitor it’s easy to do yourself Ave as others have said she could get someone to witness it who happy to agree he has capacity) then you can contact the Office of the Public Guardian and raise your concerns with them. She can’t re write his will. She can take him to the solicitor but she won’t be allowed to sit in with him whilst he has it rewritten. I have been through this with an elderly relative who wanted me in with her when speaking to the solicitor as she was very deaf. The solicitor was very clear that this was not possible as I was a beneficiary(quite rightly). If your Aunt is a beneficiary then she can’t be there. Also wills normally contain instructions as to what happens if a beneficiary predeceases the will writer, so they don’t need rewriting. The solicitor will also need to certain your Gd has capacity.

It does seem this way the more I look into it the more open to abuse it all seems.

The problem is he may just repeat what he's been told to say I don't know how much the solicitor will do to check he understands what he's saying.

It's unwise to only have one attorney on an LPoA. Why not suggest to your aunt that you are both attorneys for him and that you draw it up with the help of the solicitor? If the solicitor is involved in the LPoA then they should get an idea of capacity as part of this process. If you feel your aunt is being coerced by a partner, then this could help cut the partner out of the process.

Who diagnosed his dementia, the GP or nurse can carry out a capacity assessment and you and the carers can report your concerns to the safeguarding team. Have you seen his will, are you named beneficiary, is your aunt named at all. Do you know the name of the solicitors, you can call them. You can also raise concerns with his GP and care agency manager, who is funding his care package and dealing with his finances at the moment.

The gp diagnosed his dementia. I've seen my grandmothers will and the covering letter that was with it makes it sound as though both wills had been done at the same time. Grandads will is missing which is suspicious it seems someone doesn't want me to know what's in it. My grans will names my aunt and dad as beneficiaries and also states that if either one dies their children will inherit their share.