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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner and weekend

37 replies

LavenderHazexo · 18/10/2025 21:57

Hello

So partner isn't happy I'm not in greatest of moods with him.
My mum is coming to stay with us next weekend, this was arranged 6 weeks ago. Partner exclaimed he needed time to clean spare room and assemble spare bed. I'd clear room but its all his stuff and there is basically no storage in this house. Every room has crap in it and boxes everywhere. I moved in with partner 6 months ago before having our baby. Baby is 6 months old. Before baby i would stay thurs-mon and go back home as it was closer to my work (he lived 1 hr away from me). This week I reminded him my mum was coming to stay next weekend. He made a comment that he had lots to do. We agreed to really crack down this weekend. Last night partner said "did i tell you my parents are up this weekend" - no he bloody didnt. So they've arranged to go to his brothers on Sunday for dinner and invited us. I said yes but only if dinner was early its always late and it makes our baby grumpy as we are always coming home during her bedtime. She then gets a good sleep in the car and is wide awake for hours when home. I also said he could go himself. He said no, he wants baby there and me. Anyway, today, he tells me we can meet his parents today and leave tomorrow. I said okay, whats plan, he said he didn't know then at last minute said he was going over to their motorhome to pick them up and take over baby cot (his dad built it for all grandchildren and it was last used 15 years ago so needs amendments). He said i could meet them at farm shop close to motorhome for lunch. I agreed but said I needed petrol first. We both looked on Google maps and overall journey with petrol stop was 1hr 5 minutes. I said okay and off he went and i left later. I left ten minutes later than we agreed as I had to get myself and baby ready / changed. Anyway, he gets to lunch place 6 minutes before I did. Asked if I needed a hand I said no. He came out to my car anyway just as baby was put in pram and bags popped under. He then took pram, said lunch orders had 5 minutes left and rushed away with baby causing me to follow behind. I gave my order quickly and went to loo. When i returned partner asked where id been as i was late. I said i wasnt late. But i was annoyed as partner got ready leisurely and alone while i got me and baby ready. Came back from loo and baby was being passed around his parents. Every now and then they kept saying things like "aw do you want to go to daddy", "aw can you not see daddy", "aw let's let daddy eat". My partner took baby back and his parents kept saying "aw come to us, let daddy eat". It pissed me off as not once did anyone say anything about mummy. Inalwaysbsit and eat with baby when we're out but because we met his parents, its like he had to push pram in, he had to sit with baby whole time etc then afterwards it was closing time we went back to their motorhome for coffee. In motorhome I held baby. I was offered coffee and accepted. When coffee was ready, partner said about giving baby to his mum, his dad then said "go to nanna and give mummy another break". Got home partner said I was off all day. I said there's lots to do. He said no there isn't. Feeling pissed off. He said im pising myself off as today was fine and im just moaning am I??
Now baby is asleep, he said hes off to bed so here I am now going out with dog and tidying room.

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 18/10/2025 22:10

I have no idea what you're trying to say. You're annoyed he didn't empty the room for your parents visit and went to see his parents instead? You've had weeks, why haven't you done it?

ShenandoahRiver · 18/10/2025 22:12

Could you start again and cut out all the waffle about who said what

BeMellowAquaSquid · 18/10/2025 22:14

I am completely lost

Overthebow · 18/10/2025 22:16

I can’t work out what the issue is.

Original poster
LavenderHazexo · 18/10/2025 22:16

It is confusing the way I've typed it all 😪 never mind. Sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
LavenderHazexo · 18/10/2025 22:20

To cut a v.long story, short, basically:

  • Partner fot ready leisurely whilst I did tidy some of the room and then got me and baby ready
  • partner managed to find time before leaving to 3d print a sword for his mate.. dont ask!
  • partner asked if I needed hand before I arrived, I said no, he came out anway and got baby and pushed her in, leaving me to walk in behind.
  • I didn't hold my baby once at lunch partners parents kept saying "aw go to daddy, where is daddy erc" nothinf once about mummy
  • partner made comments about my time before asking why I was late, when I told him i wasn't and reminded him I got petrol he said okay despite us agreeing this before i left
  • going to his parents afterwards and his dad saying "give mumm another break" it felt like digs
  • now home, I had to settle baby as time disrupted her nighttime, I got puked on, I am now having to walk dog and tidy more room while he goes to bed
OP posts:
GingerPaste · 18/10/2025 22:23

ShenandoahRiver · 18/10/2025 22:12

Could you start again and cut out all the waffle about who said what

And please break it into paragraphs. It’s difficult reading a solid wall of text.

Original poster
LavenderHazexo · 18/10/2025 22:24

See above?

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 18/10/2025 22:26

Throw it all out. Might want to include him.

ShenandoahRiver · 18/10/2025 22:28

He sounds crap
Don’t have another baby with him
Are you working?

Original poster
LavenderHazexo · 18/10/2025 22:31

Yes on mat leave at moment

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 18/10/2025 22:32

It does kind of sound like you were grumpy with him all day because of wanting the room emptied, it's a bit awkward for his parents because other people can sense that so probably why they were saying things about Daddy because they aren't really sure why you're annoyed or how to interact, which leaves you feeling left out and more annoyed.

outerspacepotato · 18/10/2025 22:33

Overthebow · 18/10/2025 22:16

I can’t work out what the issue is.

OP's mom coming next weekend to visit and stay over. This was planned some time ago

House is hoarded, it's her partner's stuff. They were supposed to clean it out this weekend.

Instead, they went to meet up with his parents and get gas and get pissed off, still no room for her mom as they haven't cleared his hoard.

I think.

Changingplace · 18/10/2025 22:35

I have no idea what’s going on, your second post doesn’t seem to have anything to do with your first, I’m confused.

BananaSquiggle · 18/10/2025 22:39

It sounds like you dislike his parents - presumably for good reasons, but they don’t really come across in this thread. You describe being invited for dinner, begrudgingly agreeing on the condition that it’s early, and them changing it to lunch to accommodate your concerns. Nothing described sounds particularly odd or hostile, and it’s unclear whether you managed to be/ tried to be friendly and sociable. I’m not judging - they could be awful people for all I know - but it sounds like any meet up between you is doomed to fail.

bigboykitty · 18/10/2025 22:45

I don't know why everyone is so confused. Maybe they're all pissed. I'd say your P doesn't want your mum to visit and had no intention if clearing all his crap from the spare room. He sounds self-centred and lazy. Do you still have your own place?

CryMyEyesViolet · 18/10/2025 22:46

I’m still not sure why you’re annoyed? Because the room still isn’t ready for your mum? Then he’ll have to sort it this week.

But it’s normal that his family was cooing over the baby and referred more to dad, and that he wanted to show off in front of his parents.

You said you were late setting off/later than him so that’s probably why asked about you being late.

You should’ve asked him/left him to look after the baby while you got ready before he left. It’s a bit inconsiderate of him not to offer, so offer him that feedback and make sure you give him the baby in future.

It’s all a bit storm in a teacup and seems a normal day in the life of the parents of a baby where lack of sleep and being new parents causes a bit of friction.

CryMyEyesViolet · 18/10/2025 22:48

bigboykitty · 18/10/2025 22:45

I don't know why everyone is so confused. Maybe they're all pissed. I'd say your P doesn't want your mum to visit and had no intention if clearing all his crap from the spare room. He sounds self-centred and lazy. Do you still have your own place?

That’s one small part of a long lost - I don’t know why him pushing the pram into the pub or asking why she was late or the grandparents offering to hold the baby while OP had her coffee have anything to do with the room not being emptied, which is why I’m confused.

In fact OP doesn’t mention this at all in her condensed bullet point version of the story which makes me even less inclined to think this is the issue.

Vanillalime · 18/10/2025 22:58

I’m not surprised you are not in the best mood with him. You’ve been left to do everything for the baby while he just sees to himself & when you get there he takes over as if he’s hands on.
I wouldn’t worry too much about his family referring to daddy and not mummy - it doesn’t read like they meant anything by it.
For your mums visit, I think as long as stuff is boxed up and stored safely, even if it’s all still in the room, that will just have to do. She’s coming to visit you and the baby, I’m sure she won’t be judging you.

ForeverHopeful3 · 18/10/2025 23:06

The fact that you call your child's father, a "partner," says a thousand unspoken words. What does he call you? Lol

Original poster
LavenderHazexo · 19/10/2025 01:20

ForeverHopeful3 · 18/10/2025 23:06

The fact that you call your child's father, a "partner," says a thousand unspoken words. What does he call you? Lol

What else can I call him? He is my partner? Unless im missing something?

OP posts:
Original poster
LavenderHazexo · 19/10/2025 01:22

Vanillalime · 18/10/2025 22:58

I’m not surprised you are not in the best mood with him. You’ve been left to do everything for the baby while he just sees to himself & when you get there he takes over as if he’s hands on.
I wouldn’t worry too much about his family referring to daddy and not mummy - it doesn’t read like they meant anything by it.
For your mums visit, I think as long as stuff is boxed up and stored safely, even if it’s all still in the room, that will just have to do. She’s coming to visit you and the baby, I’m sure she won’t be judging you.

Yes its this!!
Yes pissed abiut contents in room.
Me doing everything all day and then he takes over and I dont hold her once while we are out and hearing "daddy this, daddy that". That's what annoyed me

OP posts:
Gilgogirl · 19/10/2025 01:36

LavenderHazexo · 18/10/2025 21:57

Hello

So partner isn't happy I'm not in greatest of moods with him.
My mum is coming to stay with us next weekend, this was arranged 6 weeks ago. Partner exclaimed he needed time to clean spare room and assemble spare bed. I'd clear room but its all his stuff and there is basically no storage in this house. Every room has crap in it and boxes everywhere. I moved in with partner 6 months ago before having our baby. Baby is 6 months old. Before baby i would stay thurs-mon and go back home as it was closer to my work (he lived 1 hr away from me). This week I reminded him my mum was coming to stay next weekend. He made a comment that he had lots to do. We agreed to really crack down this weekend. Last night partner said "did i tell you my parents are up this weekend" - no he bloody didnt. So they've arranged to go to his brothers on Sunday for dinner and invited us. I said yes but only if dinner was early its always late and it makes our baby grumpy as we are always coming home during her bedtime. She then gets a good sleep in the car and is wide awake for hours when home. I also said he could go himself. He said no, he wants baby there and me. Anyway, today, he tells me we can meet his parents today and leave tomorrow. I said okay, whats plan, he said he didn't know then at last minute said he was going over to their motorhome to pick them up and take over baby cot (his dad built it for all grandchildren and it was last used 15 years ago so needs amendments). He said i could meet them at farm shop close to motorhome for lunch. I agreed but said I needed petrol first. We both looked on Google maps and overall journey with petrol stop was 1hr 5 minutes. I said okay and off he went and i left later. I left ten minutes later than we agreed as I had to get myself and baby ready / changed. Anyway, he gets to lunch place 6 minutes before I did. Asked if I needed a hand I said no. He came out to my car anyway just as baby was put in pram and bags popped under. He then took pram, said lunch orders had 5 minutes left and rushed away with baby causing me to follow behind. I gave my order quickly and went to loo. When i returned partner asked where id been as i was late. I said i wasnt late. But i was annoyed as partner got ready leisurely and alone while i got me and baby ready. Came back from loo and baby was being passed around his parents. Every now and then they kept saying things like "aw do you want to go to daddy", "aw can you not see daddy", "aw let's let daddy eat". My partner took baby back and his parents kept saying "aw come to us, let daddy eat". It pissed me off as not once did anyone say anything about mummy. Inalwaysbsit and eat with baby when we're out but because we met his parents, its like he had to push pram in, he had to sit with baby whole time etc then afterwards it was closing time we went back to their motorhome for coffee. In motorhome I held baby. I was offered coffee and accepted. When coffee was ready, partner said about giving baby to his mum, his dad then said "go to nanna and give mummy another break". Got home partner said I was off all day. I said there's lots to do. He said no there isn't. Feeling pissed off. He said im pising myself off as today was fine and im just moaning am I??
Now baby is asleep, he said hes off to bed so here I am now going out with dog and tidying room.

I get you, it’s so hard being mom and your husband and his parents dumb as fuck.ci don’t know what to say but he’s a dick and you definitely don’t need hos incompetence in your life right now. Major luck for you and demand a spa day

Gilgogirl · 19/10/2025 01:37

Lol

Spinmerightroundbaby · 20/10/2025 20:57

ThejoyofNC · 18/10/2025 22:10

I have no idea what you're trying to say. You're annoyed he didn't empty the room for your parents visit and went to see his parents instead? You've had weeks, why haven't you done it?

Agreed. Couldn’t make sense of it. Sorry. It was long, there was a lot of waffle and it would’ve helped if there were paragraphs. Maybe rewrite and aim for a shorter, concise message? If you just needed to vent though and didn’t need a response, that’s fine too.