Really not looking forward to half term week

[darkat7]

I’ve booked plenty of things and I know the kids will enjoy them.

But I don’t enjoy having my children together at all. Last year I worked three days a week and I had them for two days solo. It was the worst year of my life. I felt drained and exhausted and overwhelmed all the time.

One started school this year so it has given me some relief only having one on my days off. Feels much calmer and more manageable.

I know it’s only a week but I suppose I’m just wondering if this is ever going to go. Am I ever going to enjoy them both? As it stands I don’t, and I dread it.

Sorry to hear it. I totally get it must be hard for some parents. Me personally, I bloody love it cos the school run leaves me broken every day (getting 2 ASD kids who hates school to different schools 15 miles apart with a baby isn't fun). I'm looking forward to 2 weeks of not getting my daughter up specifically ( she has the worst problems with getting up)

Full time teacher here with three kids and I’m elated my alarm is now off for two weeks!

I obviously get some people are excited. I wish I was.

I'm guessing by your oldest starting school that you probably had a 2 and a 4 year old last year/earlier this year. Having a 3 and a 5 year old is a lot easier, and a 4 and a 6 year old even easier again. It does get better and more fun!

How old are they? I didn’t take my children into a supermarket or shopping in person for over five years, I did everything on line, because their behaviour when together in public was unpredictable and stressful (sometimes violent 😱). I’m not a lax/gentle/permissive parent, there was just a dynamic there that made every day tasks with them impossible. Holidays and days out were very difficult too but more chance to distract them.

Around age 14 and 11 respectively they suddenly just clicked and became best mates and still are - they’re young adults now. Honestly I wouldn’t book too many things, stay local and be chill.

I suspect it’s the age of your children? It does get easier.

Thank you @Devonmaid1844 . She’s recently turned two. It is easier in some ways but I still find meeting their different needs difficult, I feel neither get a lot of quality time (obviously the younger one does but at expense of the older one) and I feel like he gets sidelined such a lot.

You will definitely enjoy them both in the future, it’s just very hard at the ages they are at. Taking my 9 year old and 7 year old out for the day is so much fun now. Add the 4 year into the mix and I want to cry to be honest (though she’s great on her own). I went through a period of really dreading school holidays when no one was over 5, loving them when the oldest two were both out of Reception and littlest was in nursery during school holidays, and now back to slightly dreading them now the youngest has started school too.

Not that this helps for next week but I just wanted to say that this stage gets better!

I used to dread holidays and felt like a terrible parent when others said they looked forward to them.

It does get better. One thing is their age, 2 and 4 is really draining. Reception kids would be considered toddlers/preschoolers in many countries - they’re still very little. The other thing is being with them so much - 2 year olds don’t often just go off and play happily by themselves for hours. You feel this way because you are burnt out from 4 years of intense parenting.

Plan your half term to have days in a soft play, days with screens, days outside to try and get breaks for them and you. And please don’t worry, you’re doing your best.

That's a really tough age to be handling along with anything else, let alone another kids, as they do end up sucking your attention just making sure they don't do anything too dumb. At that age we did a lot of smaller soft plays, so they were contained and I didn't need to worry as much. It definitely gets easier, and then becomes really lovely to have them both as they start to play and explore together.

Thanks. I sometimes feel really down about it and guilty. I was desperate for a second baby and then I just didn’t enjoy parenting them both.

I do try my best but it never feels like I’m giving enough to either.

It's the ages of your kids.
Once the youngest is preschooler, or maybe reception, age it will be much, much easier. They will be physically and mentally much more similar, and so activities will appeal to both.
IMO you are nearly at the best bit - preschoolers are my absolute favorite stage.

I really hope so. Just this morning they are both desperately trying to get my attention with the little one whingeing and moaning and the older one endless ‘mummy … mummy … mummy.’

Also feel he’s behind at school as I just don’t have the time to give him.

I’m not a fan either but that’s because my kids love school and the oldest who is autistic and says a handful of words the break from the school routine is very hard for him and me having to deal with his tantrums (slamming doors, hitting, kicking, throwing things).

A week isn’t too bad for me but the two week breaks are difficult and the summer breaks are a mental countdown to the school return. We have an almost 2 yo so definitely can relate on how difficult it is. Mine is clingy (say mines because they cling to me, not DH) and when not clingy they’re climbing on things, pushing chairs to things (current fave is the cooker 😭), doesn’t sleep through the night (neither does the oldest much currently), bites, smacks and not getting their way means they cry and scream which sets off the oldest. They’ll be in nursery next year in January hopefully, what my mental health will be by then after the Christmas break, who knows, but will likely be reminding myself of nursery tidbit to keep me afloat.

All three are at difficult ages for them to me so far and I keep telling myself this is a season, although a bit of a long one to me.

Thank you. I know some people deal with a lot more. I wish I didn’t feel so drained by them both but I do.

My two year old doesn’t sleep through the night either. I’m so over being woken up and then up at 6.