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Original poster

How to survive family holiday

16 replies

DesperateCoffee5123 · 17/10/2025 20:22

I need some advice or to be talked down. I live abroad, a 12 hour flight. Came to the UK with my 1 year old to stay with my parents for 4 weeks. They were desperate to spend time with him. I have used my entire annual leave for this trip and some unpaid leave. We have one week left and I might strangle someone. My parents are fine, but they don't babysit DS much at all, I'm getting a lot of criticism, I'm not in my own house so I have no control over anything, I can't relax with some Netflix, baby won't sleep without me, has terrible separation anxiety, we have to co-sleep which is horrific as I'm getting no sleep at all, I have to listen to my dad rant about politics and make shitty jokes every evening etc.

I can't leave without causing WW3 in the family. HOW do I cope? I can't even leave the house for a walk to calm down as I have a 1 year old attached to me.

I know I'm unreasonable to think 4 weeks with my parents will be enjoyable. I thought they would be happy to see DS, I could get a bit of a break etc. But they find him too much and I am basically better off going back to work right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
DesperateCoffee5123 · 17/10/2025 20:23

I can honestly feel my post natal depression coming back. I'm having horrible dark thoughts that I would never be able to voice to anyone. I can't breathe in this house.

OP posts:
chickenwings2 · 17/10/2025 20:25

Leave it’s your leave and you deserve it

Endofyear · 17/10/2025 20:31

I would leave. Tell your parents that you've been called back for a work emergency. If you have to stick it out, put baby in the buggy and walk every morning and afternoon, find a cafe and have a sit down and a coffee if baby naps. Don't you have a kindle or phone that you can watch stuff on?

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 17/10/2025 20:32

Just go home. Make your excuses and go.

Linenpickle · 17/10/2025 20:33

Can you go stay in a hotel on the pretext of staying with an old friend?

WhatNoRaisins · 17/10/2025 20:36

I know you say it would be WW3 but at 12 hours away what can they actually do? They aren't going to send missiles if you don't answer the phone until you're feeling better.

XelaM · 17/10/2025 20:39

1 year old in the buggy and go for as many walks to the park as you can? When my daughter was that age I found it infinitely easier to be out of the house with her

Original poster
DesperateCoffee5123 · 17/10/2025 20:42

Linenpickle · 17/10/2025 20:33

Can you go stay in a hotel on the pretext of staying with an old friend?

No, my parents have retired to a new area, very far from where I am. I don't know anyone here and it's too far to travel to my home town.

OP posts:
Original poster
DesperateCoffee5123 · 17/10/2025 20:44

XelaM · 17/10/2025 20:39

1 year old in the buggy and go for as many walks to the park as you can? When my daughter was that age I found it infinitely easier to be out of the house with her

Edited

He won't stay in the buggy more than 20 minutes. He will scream and scream and scream. So I have to take him out and play around a park. Lovely and horribly boring for me and has a time limit on it. And I can’t even come home to a quiet house and a nice cup of coffee and a treat as I would at home.

OP posts:
Original poster
DesperateCoffee5123 · 17/10/2025 20:45

WhatNoRaisins · 17/10/2025 20:36

I know you say it would be WW3 but at 12 hours away what can they actually do? They aren't going to send missiles if you don't answer the phone until you're feeling better.

No, but it will just ruin an otherwise good relationship. I'm an only child, I have absolutely no one except my parents. And we do genuinely have a good relationship. But being on top of each other is horrible.

OP posts:
RoseAlone · 17/10/2025 20:47

This is almost an exact duplicate of a post from a week or two ago.

Lindy2 · 17/10/2025 20:48

That sounds tough.

Are you just staying in the house all the time? That would be really difficult for most people.

Change tactics and treat this as a holiday for you and your DS. Go out and explore the new area. Go for walks, find baby activities like playgroups, farms, zoos, etc you can go to, take him swimming. Use Google to find out what there is in this area. Enjoy your time off work and spending time with your DS.

You can still see your parents - just less of them. Keep yourself out and about and busy.

BrieHugger · 17/10/2025 20:49

I think you just need to be honest and say you’re exhausted and need to get baby back into a routine as you can’t do another week then go straight back to work. Three weeks is plenty long enough for all of - you might find they totally agree!

Givenupshopping · 17/10/2025 20:54

Can I ask how old your parents are OP? Are they too old to be babysitting? Do they find your little one too tiring? Can't you go out and do some day trips, or part day trips, so that when you do go home, you all have some nice memories, or have you already done all that in the first 3 weeks?

indoorplantqueen · 17/10/2025 20:56

4 weeks is a long time so I don’t blame you. I lived in a different country to my parents when I had dd, so would go for 2 weeks max, but my parents were always willing to help and babysit so I could see friends.

pizzaHeart · 17/10/2025 21:13

I really feel for you OP.
Can you find something nice for him in the area and go there “to give parents a break“ like a soft play area or a farm?
I also went to bed earlier with DD and then read MN when she fall asleep. It was the only thing that got me through..

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