Father might have lung cancer? My job being funny

TheOpalFox · 2025-10-17T14:00:49+00:00

I’m absolutely fuming:I’m my dads carer and he might have lung cancer ? I’m taking him To his appointment Monday afternoon. Work said I can’t have the time off???? How disgusting is this ? I’m having it off!!! 😞 if they sack me . They sack me!!

Slowdogs · 17/10/2025 15:05

The devil is in the detail

Bobiverse · 17/10/2025 15:05

Are you actually his carer? Or do you mean you’re just his daughter and can drive him to the appointment.

Carer’s are entitled to a few days unpaid leave a year for planned appointments etc for the person they are caring for. So you are entitled to unpaid leave, but I’m not sure how it works if your employer actually needs you to be in work. This isn’t emergency leave due to an accident; it’s a planned appointment so you can’t call in as an emergency.

If they’re refusing unpaid leave, and won’t let you use annual leave then you’ll have to face the disciplinary.

Just keep in mind that you aren’t entitled to as much time off as you like. You get a few days unpaid a year for caring responsibilities, and your annual leave. If your dad is going to require more than that, then you’ll need to consider how to manage that. Your employer needs you available to do your job and they’re not unreasonable.

nomas · 17/10/2025 15:07

Sorry about your dad, hope he's ok. Have you asked for the afternoon off as holiday?

Is there anyone else who can take your dad?

For future appointments, have a look at whether your dad is eligible for Dial-a-Ride services.

Original poster

TheOpalFox · 17/10/2025 15:25

nomas · 17/10/2025 15:07

Sorry about your dad, hope he's ok. Have you asked for the afternoon off as holiday?

Is there anyone else who can take your dad?

For future appointments, have a look at whether your dad is eligible for Dial-a-Ride services.

I just asked for unpaid leave :)
they said no?
im my dads carer. He won’t understand anything they say :)

OP posts:

Original poster

TheOpalFox · 17/10/2025 15:28

Bobiverse · 17/10/2025 15:05

Are you actually his carer? Or do you mean you’re just his daughter and can drive him to the appointment.

Carer’s are entitled to a few days unpaid leave a year for planned appointments etc for the person they are caring for. So you are entitled to unpaid leave, but I’m not sure how it works if your employer actually needs you to be in work. This isn’t emergency leave due to an accident; it’s a planned appointment so you can’t call in as an emergency.

If they’re refusing unpaid leave, and won’t let you use annual leave then you’ll have to face the disciplinary.

Just keep in mind that you aren’t entitled to as much time off as you like. You get a few days unpaid a year for caring responsibilities, and your annual leave. If your dad is going to require more than that, then you’ll need to consider how to manage that. Your employer needs you available to do your job and they’re not unreasonable.

Im
actually his carer? He’s got limited capacity so wouldn’t understand what they are saying?

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ScaryM0nster · 17/10/2025 15:31

Are you officially registered as his carer, and are your employer aware of that?

Carers have some additional protection, but that does mean formal carers, rather than family members who help.

DaisyChain505 · 17/10/2025 15:37

There’s a difference between being his carer and being a loving daughter who wants to take their father to a hospital appointment.

You have to be registered to be someone’s carer.

Is there not anyone else who can take him. Another relative, a neighbour?

You need your job and income.

Original poster

TheOpalFox · 17/10/2025 15:46

ScaryM0nster · 17/10/2025 15:31

Are you officially registered as his carer, and are your employer aware of that?

Carers have some additional protection, but that does mean formal carers, rather than family members who help.

Yes I get carers allowance and my work know. My dads gor Limited capacity so can’t go alone

OP posts:

Original poster

TheOpalFox · 17/10/2025 15:47

DaisyChain505 · 17/10/2025 15:37

There’s a difference between being his carer and being a loving daughter who wants to take their father to a hospital appointment.

You have to be registered to be someone’s carer.

Is there not anyone else who can take him. Another relative, a neighbour?

You need your job and income.

Im
an only child
my dads got limited capacity.

OP posts:

Ddakji · 17/10/2025 15:49

TheOpalFox · 17/10/2025 15:47

Im
an only child
my dads got limited capacity.

Show quote history

You are entitled to 7 working days unpaid carer’s leave every 12 months.

Show this to them.

www.gov.uk/carers-leave

Ddakji · 17/10/2025 15:50

Employees are entitled to unpaid leave to give or arrange care for a ‘dependant’ who has:

a physical or mental illness or injury that means they’re expected to need care for more than 3 months
a disability (as defined in the Equality Act 2010)
care needs because of their old age

The dependant does not have to be a family member. It can be anyone who relies on them for care. Employees are entitled to carer’s leave from their first day of work for their employer. Their employment rights (like holidays and returning to their job) are protected during carer’s leave.

Definition of disability under the Equality Act 2010

You’re disabled under the Equality Act 2010 if you have a physical or mental impairment that has a 'substantial' and 'long-term' negative effect on your ability to do daily activities

https://www.gov.uk/definition-of-disability-under-equality-act-2010

Onlyonmumsne · 17/10/2025 15:51

Totally on your side OP. Sometimes some of the responses on here read like AI bots. Take it off as stress if they carry on. You are entitled to time off as his official carer. Thinking of you and hope you are ok x

Original poster

TheOpalFox · 17/10/2025 15:52

Onlyonmumsne · 17/10/2025 15:51

Totally on your side OP. Sometimes some of the responses on here read like AI bots. Take it off as stress if they carry on. You are entitled to time off as his official carer. Thinking of you and hope you are ok x

Now I’m having 2 weeks off for stress because of the way they have made me feel, more fool them

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TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 15:55

Has your father got dementia (as well as the possible cancer) @TheOpalFox
It all sounds very stressful for you and for him. I'm so sorry you're in this situation.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 17/10/2025 16:01

Frankly even if you weren’t his carer I’d still say your work are being dicks about it. I’d be considering whether or not I wanted to stay working there when they have so little empathy. They don’t care if you’re actually his carer, they just don’t care full stop. Some employers don’t.

We’ve had a recent death on one side of my family. Someone from the other side of the family was able to rush to provide emergency childcare because of the situation, even though they were barely related and had only met the person once, because their work’s attitude was do whatever you need to with our full support. On the other hand someone who was more closely related to the person got a load of shit off their employer about who was going to cover their work while they dared to rush off to support the next of kin waiting for the worst in hospital.

Situations like this let you see what people are really like. Your employer has shown you their true colours. I’d be looking for another job in your shoes.

Ddakji · 17/10/2025 16:01

TheOpalFox · 17/10/2025 15:52

Now I’m having 2 weeks off for stress because of the way they have made me feel, more fool them

Show quote history

Did you see my posts?

Original poster

TheOpalFox · 17/10/2025 16:12

Ddakji · 17/10/2025 15:50

Employees are entitled to unpaid leave to give or arrange care for a ‘dependant’ who has:

a physical or mental illness or injury that means they’re expected to need care for more than 3 months
a disability (as defined in the Equality Act 2010)
care needs because of their old age

The dependant does not have to be a family member. It can be anyone who relies on them for care. Employees are entitled to carer’s leave from their first day of work for their employer. Their employment rights (like holidays and returning to their job) are protected during carer’s leave.

Thank you so much

OP posts: