Is asking for 20/25 mins to whack some slap on fair to ask?

[Whaile]

I’ve asked Dh to always please give me 20/25 mins in the morning so that I can put some make up on and just put myself together.

It makes me feel so much better and I genuinely feel set up for the day if I can put on a pair of jeans, jumper and some make up.

My kids are 4, 3 and 2. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that my husband keeps the kids occupied for 20 mins. Especially as I am hyper organised - sorting out clothes, breakfast etc. I obviously wouldn’t leave him if the kids were all screaming but the kids can definitely be set up to be occupied whilst I get ready without them climbing over me.

Im talking more about at weekends or holiday as I often have no issue during the week as im the first up

DH appreciates my appearance so he can’t be a bit of a hypocrite and assume it just happens out of nowhere. A few curls in my hair and bit of mascara, cc cream, lip oil surely isn’t too much to ask for.

Im a SAHM and my husband really has to do nothing around the house as I manage it fine. He does cook and put in load sod laundry but I really do most of it so think a bit of me time is fully justified and I have to explicitly carve it out given the nature of being a SAHM. I obviously would plan so the 20 mins isn’t too disruptive

You’re not being unreasonable. My DH sorts breakfast so I have time to get myself ready, I’m a SAHM too. I get the kids up and dressed so he can get ready to go to work, then as soon as he’s downstairs he takes over and I go back up

What is his objection?

It’s not that it’s make up. That’s irrelevant. It’s that he seems to be unwilling to give you 20 minutes to yourself. That could be used to do make up, or to curl up in a ball in the corner. You’re allowed time.

No, it isn't unreasonable expect your husband to be able to regularly look after his own children for twenty minutes.

The man you are married to and have three children with doesn’t want you to have twenty minutes on a weekend morning or a holiday morning? That’s the situation? I can’t get my head round it to be honest.

Who the fuck does he think he is? The Sultan of Brunei?

And you do everything else. I don’t think it makes any difference what you want twenty minutes for. At all. He sounds like an absolute dick to be honest.

I think the more important question is why are you tying yourself in knots to justify having twenty minutes to yourself? Why is your husband not pulling his weight in your relationship?

On a weekday - YABU

On a weekend - YANBU

Your job is being a SAHP.
Those hours are the same hours as your DHs work hours.

But evenings and weekends are always 50/50, especially weekends or holidays.

Don’t ask him just start doing it.
If the kids start crying ask him why he’s not looking after them.

He is just as much their parent as you are.
You are not the hired help.