What’s wrong with me?

[Notsleepinghelp]

I feel so frustrated with myself. I’m at war with my brain every day.

I’m well educated, good degree, always academic at school. I have a good, interesting job, WFH (most of the time) condensed full time to 4 days. I look after my toddler on my day off. My husband also WFH full time and is a decent parent and partner.
The problem is since having my child I find day to day functioning really hard. I’m so scatter brained. I’ve always been a bit like this, and compensated by using lists a lot (still do). I have always had a ‘hard’ but interesting job, and managed it well. Now it feels like it takes all my brain power to keep on track.
For context, my child sleeps well and is a pretty calm toddler (as much as toddlers can be calm), so why do I find everything so hard?
I’m struggling to best describe it: it’s like I’ve lost the ability to prioritise, I get distracted doing tasks (at work or at home) all the time, I lose things. Just today I nearly left my suitcase at a conference centre. I still use lists and they work to some extent.
Two more possibly relevant things: I don’t use any hormonal contraception now (was on the pill before we started TTC). And a sibling has been late diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood.

Any ideas about what’s wrong with me? And any other coping strategies I can employ?

It’s just your stage of life, you have a lot going on. Your job was manageable before but now you’ve got a toddler in the mix it’s trickier. You’ll be fine

I wouldn't go on any drugs, if you're thinking about that. Those do more damage than help.

I think you're stressed and just have a lot going on. Its good you have a system that works for you, aka the lists. I have little post it notes on my desk to help me remember things I occasionally forget.

I also WFH and it can be hard trying to finish a task before starting another. My coworkers and I were laughing about that the other day. I have to mentally stop myself from starting item #5 before 1-4 are completed :)

Before I reached the end of your post I was going to suggest ADHD. You sound very similar to myself and I am currently awaiting an assessment, there is a strong genetic component as you mention a sibling, and it is often exacerbated by hormonal changes like puberty, or having a baby. ADHD is present from childhood but it is possible that you've been masking without realising. Or it is possible that its just life and that its hard. I would suggest finding a good neuropositive therapist to unpick everything with. It might help you realise youve been masking or you might decide actually that doesn't fit for me, but they might help you to find some strategies to help you cope. At worst its great to have a rant every couple of weeks!

It sounds a bit like burnout to me.

How old are you? Peri can make adhd much more obviois/worse.

Perimenopause?

Get some comprehensive blood tests done to check for low ferritin, thyroid function, vit D levels, anaemia and so on. Rule out all the physical stuff before you take any medication. Make sure you get enough sleep and time out for yourself.

Thanks for your responses. I’m early thirties so would hope it’s not perimenopause, obviously something to consider though. I’m worried it’s burnout, but I don’t want to change my job, and we split the parenting load pretty equally already.
Where I can make changes is lifestyle: currently I have too much caffeine, doom scroll on an evening and don’t eat well enough. I do exercise regularly which is semi recent change that I’m proud of.

How did you find a good therapist? Did you have other signs other than what I’ve described?
My sibling masked whilst a child but then had lots of mental health issues as a teen and adult. I’ve always been quite ‘steady’ and very different to them. There’s other potential neurodiversity in my family (currently undiagnosed) and I don’t find that I ‘fit’ the pattern there either!

Have you had covid? That can cause brain fog, among many other nasty consequences.