Wibu about sil visiting?

[Octobermoonlight]

Sil & bil (dhs older sister) have fallen out with me and I want to know if iabu.

There’s no real backstory. I get on fine with them. We don’t see them often, they live locally but they don’t have kids (don’t want them), and they have busy social lives. The only thing that annoys me slightly is that when they visit us they never let us know they’re coming and they’ll overstay, even when our children were small and we’d drop hints that it’s bedtime. Or they’ll give a time and then turn up hours later.

On Monday dh had gone to meet his friend as he does once a month. I had a bath and an early night, was in my pyjamas and in bed watching TV, both dc were in bed.

Just after 9pm the doorbell rings. I think who the fuck is this as not expecting anyone. I check the ring doorbell and it’s bil and sil.

I go and answer the door and they’re expecting to come in for a visit.

I probably was a bit short with them but I wasn’t nasty. I said it isn’t a good time as dh is out and we are all in bed. I did offer for them to come in and wait for dh but he probably wouldn’t be back until 10.

Anyway they got huffy and left. Sil has text dh saying I was rude and made them unwelcome. They shall not bother visiting again.

You were totally reasonable!

They sound very bizzare. I’m very close with my brother and SIL but I text before popping round as do they!

YAdefinatelyNBU.

What did your DH say?

They sound unreasonable! I wouldn’t turn up at any of my siblings houses at 9pm without checking in first,

It sounds like they don’t realise what it’s like to have children and just want a quiet night, they seem to expect everyone else to be available and always doing something.

“They shall not bother visiting again.”

Job done 👍

It was good of you to answer the door, I wouldn’t have bothered.

Sorry I accidentally pressed yabu.
you sound more polite than I would of been

Sil has text dh saying I was rude and made them unwelcome.

You weren’t rude but they was unwelcome and at 9pm there’s nothing wrong with what you did. If I was SIL I’d apologise for disturbing you and leave you to it (not that I’d ever dare turn up unannounced let alone that late in the evening)

Turning up at 9pm unannounced and expecting to stay the night is absolutely bonkers. They sound mad.

You weren't unreasonable.

You were in your PJs and winding down for bed. I hope you DH backed you up.

They don't have kids and keep different hours. They were being unintentionally thoughtless to call at that time.

But rather than reflecting on whether they might have been unreasonable to call round at that time in the evening, they have got huffy.

They are in the wrong.

You saved me having to type this! very rude of them and well done for holding your ground

Of course you’re not unreasonable, who turns up at anyone’s house at 9pm unannounced?!
Sounds like they’ve done you a favour cutting their imposing noses off in this instance, enjoy your future peaceful evenings!

Dh just thinks she’s a drama llama and I don’t even think he’s responded to her.

If I’d have been very welcoming they’d have had me sitting up until Dh got in then stayed long afterwards to see him.

We are very much asleep by 10.30pm and I didn’t fancy getting out of bed to entertain them.

You’ve got nothing to apologise for!

You were in bed FFS! What did they expect? The red carpet treatment when you were in your PJs and not expecting them 🤦🏻‍♀️

This is a them issue; they’re bonkers!

I'd take that as a win if they're not going to visit again! Who drops in on someone at 9pm??? I wouldn't have answered the door 😂

I used to call round to a friend's house like this, before DC. She had to explain to me that it was too late - that now they have DC they're in bed by 10pm. So it's just a mismatch. It's a shame there wasn't better communication before it got to them texting you like that. Perhaps your DH could have a word with them about a) letting you know in advance, (or rather, asking in advance), and b) coming at a reasonable time.

Total win.
Wouldn't respond or make any effort.
I cannot stand such rude entitled behaviour.
This has NOTHING to do with them being childless, they are just rude twats.

Expecting someone who is in their pj's and getting ready for bed, to make you feel welcome, is batshit. Turn up one day at the crack of dawn and get them out of bed and see how welcoming they are! What did your husband reply?

9pm on a Monday night, unannounced?

And they think you were rude????

Wowwww, I mean they were unwelcome! You were in bed already. Who wouldn’t be unwelcome at 9pm on a Monday night unannounced.

madness!!

I think it’s rude to turn up in the evening unexpected to someone’s home whether they have children or not.

Enjoy the peace now she has flounced. She should be embarrassed at her lack of social awareness.

RESULT!

We are a drop by for a visit family. Often not much notice but 9pm unannounced is not ok. (Unless it's one of my kids, they can come anytime).

How old are they? I couldn't imagine turning up at someone's house for an unannounced social visit at 9pm. Maybe when I was in my early 20s I would have welcomed a visitor at 9pm (still wouldn't have the cheek to do it myself) but I'd say it pretty normal for adults and parents to be settling down at 9pm and not wanting people turning up at the front door.