To ask for your tales of being an Empty Nester

[MagpieRobin]

We have one DD(22) and assumed that once she graduated she'd move home for a while. She was lucky enough to get a graduate job in London so has moved there instead. We're delighted and proud and all that ...

So we're proper Empty Nesters now as she won't be coming home for months like she did during uni holidays. I'd be interested to hear about your life and plans once your DC moved out.

We also just have the one, he's still at uni (2nd year), but will be doing a placement year next year which is likely to start in June or July, so won't be around for the holidays. And since we live rurally I'm very much aware that he'll never really live here again, as the sort of job he'll be doing will involve cities.

It feels strange with him gone, but I'm also delighted that he's embracing life and doing well - and I'd hate to discourage his independence. We're also pretty close and chat a fair but, which helps.

It's a few years before retire, but I think I'll need some new hobbies, since I've done a huge amount of redecorating since he left over a year ago, and at some point that will come to an end

Of course it takes a bit of getting use to, but now it’s time for you. We set up a family WhatsApp group and we just post random chit chat stuff. We have more disposable income as we’re no longer supporting the children through university etc. It’s nice having the freedom to do what you want, when you want.
The hardest thing I found was when they first came to visit and them then saying that they were off home now just before they left.
Most of all though is be proud that you’ve raised her to be independent and have the confidence to go out into the world and live her life.

My youngest is at uni and I find my routine has totally gone to pot. She’s not enjoying it so we are in very regular contact, and as I’m in London I imagine she will come back here when she graduates (we are actually thinking of then spending a year in Spain), though she does want to get a masters and possible PhD if she doesn’t crash out altogether, with Cambridge a possibility. It would be hard to rent here and so I anticipate she will return home until she partners up, saving her money. I’m a widow and work very part time for myself so I can do whatever I want, which currently seems to be staying at home and only venturing out to walk the dog! I do go visit my son on the IOW regularly (and he comes up here). If my DH was alive I’d have done a bit of travelling with him.

You get used to it.

It's a few years before retire, but I think I'll need some new hobbies

Me too! Was hoping for inspiration from this thread.

I imagine she will come back here when she graduates (we are actually thinking of then spending a year in Spain)

Oh that sounds interesting. Do you have family there?

I still have one at uni of four. However it feels very empty nest now. Having had children around for the last 27 years at least 1 home. We now wont have one "home" until Christmas when dd3 returns from uni.

Dd1 just got married 😀
Dd2 is studying for her major part time and working part-time
Ds has moved in with his lovely girlfriend finishing his major
Leaving dd3 in her final year of uni.

House is empty
Dh is studying for his major so just me left.

Next Wednesday I am going to a bridge club for the first time in 27 years

We’re in the same position. One dd, in London post graduation. Been there two years now

i now go to the gym 6 times a week but my time is mainly taken up with looking after elderly frail (following significant cancers) parents, one with dementia and the other in denial about it and expecting them to carry on as they always have

I think when they go the empty nest will hit hard as currently I’m busy busy everyday!

Mine are still at uni so they do come home for the holidays. I go and visit them prob about once a month. Whilst I miss them, it’s nice to come home and find the house exactly as I left it!!

I think it depends how busy you are with work - it’s nice to have more freedom/less of a routine once they’ve left home.

We are more likely to go to the cinema mid week, or have a last minute take away if we’ve had a busy day.

Most evenings we have dinner, clear up, read for an hour then watch a drama or two. Meet up with friends at the weekend for drinks or a meal out. Nothing very exciting but we do go away a lot (very nice to just be able to plan a few days away without taking anyone else into account!)

Ds22 has just graduated and is doing an internship for 3 months mostly working from home but he will be starting a permanent graduate job in December a couple of hundred miles away (close to where he went to university). I'm not looking forward to it as I know working full time won't give him much time to visit. Dd1 and dd2 are both married with dc and I tend to see them every 6 weeks. Dd3 is in y13 and hoping to go to university next year so after 35 years I will have an empty nest. Thankfully gc are starting to fill the gap.