Destination Weddings

[carolesn]

My eldest son is 29, he is getting married next year and obviously we are over the moon. I hate flying, he is fully aware of this. But he and his partner have decided they are getting married in Italy. DS is British, his partner is Swiss-Italian and they live in France. Now I know this journey is technically doable by train, which is what we will end up doing but I can’t help but feel they have made quite a selfish choice to get married in the south of Italy (her family are all from the far north of Italy/swiss border region so it’s not as though it’s her wanting to get married at home). They have also complained that people seem unhappy to pay for the flights but at the end of the way, there is a cost of living crisis!
They are keeping the wedding pretty small, not loads of people and mainly close friends, all guests are invited to the whole day. None the less I can’t help but feel it’s quite selfish to choose a wedding location that is difficult for almost everyone to get to. Considering our family are all in the UK, hers in Switzerland/North Italy and their friends in France with them, I can’t really understand why they wouldn’t just get married in France as a happy middle ground.

AIBU to think this is quite selfish?

They live in france. Why should they destination to uk? Pretty easy to get to europe for you car train coach
Food and weather more guaranteed
And you dont have to go
Just take them for celebratory meal when they visit you in uk

You realise this works both ways ?

They might hope that you love them enough to travel to the location they chosen to celebrate their wedding in.

Have you thought about what you will do if they have children? Will you expect them to travel to you with a tiny baby?

They picked southern Italy when they live in France and have no connection to the location.

It's a 25 hr drive (maybe more) for OP.... that's about 3 days driving each way.... or at least it would be for me I'd struggle with more than 7-8 hours driving per day

Op can fly. She hates it but has the option.
Her choice.

I agree that destination weddings are rather selfish and often make things difficult for guests.

but look up the website 'man in seat 61' for a great guide to how to get to southern Italy by train. it could be a lovely journey.

Where would you like them to get married where would be acceptable?

They live in France, she has family in Italy and Switzerland, he had family in the UK. So the bulk of the guests would have to travel internationally regardless of where they held the wedding.

Would you view it as a destination wedding if they held it in the UK? Given they don’t live here and she’s not from here it would be.

Also OP, I’d look at getting help to get over your fear of flying. I would assume they won’t move to the UK after marriage, it’ll be easier for him to get EU citizenship than her to get British (assuming he’s not already got EU citizenship). I would assume grandchildren won’t be raised in the UK. You can rage at how unfair it is, or you can get on with being part of your son’s family.