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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mum not been to dentist in over 20 years

3 replies

Maria123123123123 · 16/10/2025 14:37

My mum (late 40s) hasn't been to the dentist in forever, probably last was when she was a teenager maybe. She has hardly any teeth only a few rotten ones. She's been through a lot of difficulty and trauma and I guess eating sugary foods was a coping mechanism but why she would never brush I really don't know. Anytime anyone mentions teeth or dentist she avoids the topic. Her fear and embarrassment are stopping her from seeking help. But I'm so scared that one day she'll get diagnosed with a horrible illness due to her oral health and as her daughter ill regret it if I dnt get her help. How can I go about getting help. I myself am with a private dentist (non nhs) so I know how costly it is but especially for my mums teeth it will cost thousands which neither of us can afford. Any help/advice will be highly appreciated.

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 16/10/2025 14:44

Honestly if she doesn't want to go you really can't force her. I myself didn't see a dentist for 20+ years and the only reason I went was because my face ballooned out and I was in agony. That got sorted and I haven't been again. Maybe your mum thinks like me in that my teeth are completely fucked and I'll never be able to afford to fix them so I'll just ignore it kind of thing

Dontlletmedownbruce · 16/10/2025 14:45

I don't have answers OP but I can relate in a way as my sister doesn't have a dentist. She proudly claims she doesn't 'do dentists'. She is mid 40s and last went when she was sent by parents as a teen. I pushed her on it only once and she got defensive, she claimed she hates the dentist and she knows it will be bad news and she needs work done, so she would rather not go. I pointed out she will need considerably more work done the longer she leaves it but she got angry and told me to mind my own business. It is ridiculous behaviour in a grown woman but I honestly don't feel I can do anything about it. All you can do it reassure your Mum that you will support her when she goes and it's ok to feel afraid etc.

Katemax82 · 16/10/2025 14:48

If you do manage to get her to a dentist they do offer payment plans

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