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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you to diagnose my pain

15 replies

TabithaMerlot · 16/10/2025 10:36

If there is anyone out there who feels like I do and is diagnosed, or if there is anyone medically trained.
Been feeling like this for months now.
My muscles hurt so much. All of them. My entire body feels like my skeleton is covered in painful, throbbing muscles. If I push my thumb firmly in to any muscle on my body, the level of pain I feel is abnormal; it feels the same level of pain as though I am digging my thumb super hard in to a green bruise. It feels like this on my forearms, my neck, shoulders, back, hips, calves, shins, thighs, literally all my muscles feel like this.
But they throb and pain all over my body even when I am not touching them.
The level of exhaustion I am feeling is on another level. Tiredness doesn't even begin to describe what I am feeling. It's a crushing debilitating exhaustion. I get home from the school run and lay down on the sofa until it's time to cook dinner. I am falling asleep at 8:30 pm once the DC are in bed and sleeping till 7am. I wake feeling exactly the same as I felt when I collapsed in to bed the night before. I can't get out of bed at weekends, I keep drifting off back to sleep again until early afternoon. My DH just leaves me to rest and takes the DC out.
I can't stand without agonising pain in my muscles. I have to lay down or sit down to give relief to my muscles. I seem to be alright walking short distances, but I can't stand still without my muscles screaming in pain which doesn't stop until I sit or lay down.
Sounds weird but even my eyelid muscles feel heavy and tired.
All bloods have come back normal - thyroid, full blood count, b12, ferritin, vitD, folate, liver, kidneys, coeliac, etc. all normal.
My DC have started asking me if I'm ok on quite a regular basis. DS 14 was stroking my hair the other day whilst I was laying on the sofa and kissed me on the head and looked at me with genuine concern in his eyes. DD 10 cuddled up to me yesterday and wrapped herself around me and said mummy are you feeling unwell again. I don't want to be like this for my DC, it's really upsetting me. Im a mum who's usually bounding around active and busy and taking DC out for lovely days out. Past 2 months I've spent every weekend in bed unable to get up due to the intensity of muscle pains and knocked out with exhaustion.
I bought a plug in electric back massager. I used it last night before bed on my shoulders and upper back to see if it would help relieve the muscle pain. This morning the pain feels much, much worse after using the massager. It feels like I've been kicked hard by someone 10 times in my upper back and shoulders where I used the massager. I've had to take painkillers and it's 10:30am and every time I try to get out of bed the pain and exhaustion forces me back to bed again. Yet I slept for 10 hours deeply last night.
I can't go on like this. GP says bloods are all normal so nothing else we can do.
What is wrong with me?
I'm 50.

OP posts:
steamingin · 16/10/2025 10:44

Do you have your actual blood results? Did they do a full autoimmune panel inc ANA/ANCA? And thyroid panel- not just TSH? Hormones? Are you on HRT?

TabithaMerlot · 16/10/2025 11:19

steamingin · 16/10/2025 10:44

Do you have your actual blood results? Did they do a full autoimmune panel inc ANA/ANCA? And thyroid panel- not just TSH? Hormones? Are you on HRT?

No I didn't have auto immune tests - what could this screen for?
Didn't do hormones as GP said it's not considered current practice to test hormone levels like FSH and LH anymore.
No, I'm not on HRT. Can hormone imbalance cause this level of pain and exhaustion?
I don't want to get put in the 'Oh it must be the menopause' category just because of my age. What I mean by that is, I don't want the true reason for me feeling like this to be uninvestigated or ignored by pinning it on menopause instead.

OP posts:
BadgernTheGarden · 16/10/2025 11:26

Fibromyalgia, there isn't really a positive diagnosis (I think, or there wasn't a few years ago). If it is that there wasn't a lot of treatment available, some people recover over time. A friend had it and it was very debilitating.

HornyHornersPinger · 16/10/2025 20:43

Sounds like me - Fibromyalgia. Get your GP to refer you to a Rheumatologist.

GrumpyInsomniac · 16/10/2025 20:45

I’m another one voting for fibromyalgia. You’ll need a rheumatology referral.

gamerchick · 16/10/2025 20:46

My thoughts went straight to fibromyalgia. It's not the catch all thing people used to think it was. It's properly nasty

mindutopia · 16/10/2025 20:55

What were your actual blood results? I felt very similar to this with a borderline low (but technically ‘normal’) vitamin D. I think below 50 is considered deficient and mine was 50, so normal according to the GP. I truly thought I was dying. I thought I had cancer, that’s how ill I was. In fact, I now (10 years later) actually have cancer and it’s the only other time I’ve ever felt so exhausted and in pain.

Do pursue other options like fibromyalgia, but I’d have another look at your bloods. I had to take some loading doses of vitamin D for about 2-3 months, but I felt normal again in about 4 weeks.

LLJETO · 16/10/2025 20:58

I thought Fibro too. Though I would say that NHS normal blood results don’t necessarily mean optimal so it’s worth getting your actual numbers.

bookworm60 · 16/10/2025 20:59

Certainly sounds like an autoimmune, fibro/polymyalgia type of thing. Mine started similarly about 15 years ago (so when I was also 50), some mornings the aches were so bad that I cried when I needed to go up the 2 flights of stairs to work. Didn’t really show up much in blood tests but luckily had a very good Rheumatology consultant who ordered X-rays etc and eventually narrowed it down to a diagnosis of Psoriatic Arthritis. I was originally given steroid medication (Prednisolone ) and that worked wonders.

Savethechocolatecake · 16/10/2025 21:00

Second bloods - after much thread watching on here I went back and looked at my bloods in detail. I was borderline normal for b vits folate ferritin and iron. I've since started normal supplementation and cannot believe the difference. I'm not sure it's the answer to all of it but it is to some

Tamfs · 16/10/2025 21:06

Fibromyalgia does sound likely to echo many other posters, or CFS, but in that camp. You'll need a GP with awareness/sensitivity to these.

Fiftyandme · 16/10/2025 21:07

Fibro.

LuckyCharmz · 16/10/2025 21:18

Muscularskeletal effects of menopause, get yourself some hrt.

thefirebird · 16/10/2025 21:18

it sounds like myalgic encephalomyelitis to be honest, especially if getting up and doing things makes you feel worse afterwards

Chittychittychocchoc · 16/10/2025 21:22

At least try hrt. I felt similar- turned out oestrogen was really low. After a few months on hrt I felt so much better

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