I'm in absolute despair - lack of sleep

[TottenhamCake]

Posting here for traffic.

Im 33w pregnant, having a nightmare falling asleep with stomach cramps and restless legs, its taking me over an hour every night. To add to my woes, my partner has started snoring in the last couple of months. So when I wake up in the night to go for a wee (every night) i find it impossible to fall back to sleep. He tells me to wake him and ask him to move but i feel bad doing this as some days he drives up and down the country for work.

Im still working FT until middle of next month, so I can't lie in and catch up. I feel like i'm running on empty and its seriously getting me down. I've tried white noise, earphones, tablets, nothing works.

He has gone to doctor re. snoring and waiting for referral to sleep clinic. In the meantime, does anyone have any miracle solution or contraption that has helped?? mouthguards, strips etc?? Do we just need to sleep in separate beds??

And please don't tell me to 'just wait until the baby is here you'll be getting no sleep etc...' as being awake to care for a newborn is different to being awake for no good reason at all

TIA

If you have a spare room then definitely separate beds for a bit

Poor you op I went through the exact same. Definitely separate rooms for a while. The last few weeks were horrendous for me and I had insomnia to top it off, so we slept separately

I completely feel for you. I was the same in my last pregnancy.
Can you do any of the following:

1. Husband goes to the spare room. If you have one. I literally kick my dh out during pregnancy and he's all the better for it, between me constantly getting up for peeing and needing room. Don't be worrying about being separate, its only for a while. You need sleep.
2. Have you a good pregnancy pillow. My stomach aches at night when pregnant. I used to put a pillow under my stomach and between my legs. It really helped.
3. The leg cramping is awful, I had it too. Mention it to your GP.

I'm also 33 weeks, i feel your pain! He needs to sleep in the spare room or on the sofa until he can get the snoring under control. Pregnancy exhaustion is no joke and you need some proper rest in these last few weeks.

Is yours a job you can do from home? If so, ask your boss if you can wfh till you start mat leave. My employer has been really good about this and its been a total game changer for my energy levels/overall stress.

This reddit thread came up when I googled

https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/comments/18ihtc8/terrible_restless_leg_syndrome_have_tried/

I’m a snorer & was recommended the Snorban mouthguard by an ENT surgeon I used to work with, think it was around £40. I do spit it out sometimes but when I keep it in my husband reports I don’t snore at all! From memory it comes with a 30 day money back guarantee so if it doesn’t work send it back - nothing to lose!

Surely sleeping separately is the solution for the time being? DH sleeps in the spare room if you have one, otherwise on the sofa, and if that’s not possible either then you can get an airbed for him to sleep on. When the baby is here, a separate space to sleep will also be handy at times to catch up on sleep while the other one cares for the baby.

I hated to have to do it, but when I was 34 weeks, my boyfriend started sleeping in the spare room. I’d go to bed around 10pm but he’d stay up until midnight and always wake me (despite him being super quiet and cautious and me wearing ear plugs!) when he came up. And due to being so uncomfortable anyway I’d struggle to get back to sleep. And bless him, but in his sleep my boyfriend always snuggles up close to me and moves onto my side. And this would drive me mad when I was so heavily pregnant, it was very uncomfortable and restricting. So we slept separately for the last five weeks. It really upset me but it was worth it for a better nights sleep!

I don't get this. Wake him up. Waking someone for snoring is a 10 second job - just a bit of a nudge and asking them to turn over. They barely wake up enough to be bothered and it certainly won't impact his sleeping.

Loop ear plugs for you

Snoring is a tough one OP, the only way my DH’s got better was when he lost weight.

I remember when my babies were tiny just getting them down in the basket after ages of rocking just for him to let out a giant snore and wake them up, I could have actually killed him the rage was real.

Different rooms might be the only way to go, or earplugs for now.

Definitely sleep apart or wake him up. He’ll get back to sleep easily, will barely wake. You need your sleep.

I wear foam earplugs and sleep mask that plays white noise.

I would not faff about with gizmos, just have him move to the spare room for a few weeks, on work nights at least. (Is the snoring actually new or are you just more aware now you're sleeping less well? Not that it makes a difference really)

Would you consider asking for a small adjustment at work, eg starting an hour later? Work might be fine with you taking say a half day or day's leave per week split over the 5 days to give you shorter working days.

As for partner.
Saline nasal rinse morning and night, Humidifier in bedroom,
Mute nose dilators helped me,
If its allergies with say central heating going on try and antihistamine

Magnesium spray for restless legs and cramps was a game changer for me when I was pregnant.

Sleep apart 100%. Our DS is 16 months now and due to circumstances is still in our tiny room so it feels cramped in there, there are plenty of times when one or the other of us really needs a decent sleep that we sleep separately. We know it’s temporary and we still share when we can (weekends when it doesn’t matter so much if we’re tired as we can tag-team).

Sleep apart, and if you’ve not tried it yet I’d recommend magnesium for your restless legs. I’m not going to say just wait until the baby is here because you’re right, it is different, but what I would say is that I think that pregnancy insomnia is nature’s way of preparing you for being up all night with the baby, so it’s less of a shock to your system.

Thanks all. We don't have a spare room as such, I think I might suggest we get a daybed for the nursery as this will be helpful in times to come as suggested. Nice to know i'm not alone haha, i feel like such a bitch!!

A day bed is a good idea. We’re two kids in and my DH will often sleep on the day bed still now when my youngest (terrible sleeper) is having a bad night.

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