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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Time management tips....feel like I'm drowning

7 replies

OrangeChips1 · 15/10/2025 21:30

Posting because I was drowning this time last year and got some fantastic tips which kept me going for a year....
...but once again I feel like I'm drowning...

I work 9-2..DC has SEN and finishes at 2 so its straight from finishing work to pick up, taking him to appointments/therapies, then making dinner, clearing up, a bit of other housework, a bit of time for homework and play and the wind down to bed.

If things are going okay I can usually manage to wake up at 5 or 6 and do a bit of exercise and journalling before DC wakes up. The rest of the day is very on the go and there aren't really enough hours in the day to do what I need to do. By the time my husband comes home to tag me out I can sometimes manage a walk or something reading, or cleaning to a podcast etc.

It's only just manageable... until something pulls my health down. This happens once a month leading up to and during my period, so then I can't wake up early, can't concentrate well at work, and also feel knackered in the evening. The loss of time to myself makes me feel like I am drowning. It also happens when I'm ill (as I am now) or if my DC has a restless night due to illness. I start resenting that we are living a life that can't accommodate something I go through monthly or mild illnesses. I hate taking time off sick because if I take days off sick every month for my period AND every time i am ill with other things I feel my employer would hate me. Equally though, if I don't take care of myself I end up in a vicious cycle where I get worse and worse.

Does anyone have any tips on how I can better manage my time to accommodate?

I can't get more help as my parents already help a lot around afternoon work meetings and appointments. My DC doesn't cope well with having too many different caregivers, he needs respite and home comforts after school, so a part time nanny /after school care wouldn't help. I can't take contraception to stop my periods for medical reasons so am stuck with them affecting me as they do; natural remedies take the edge off, but not enough for me to feel as energetic as I do the rest of the month...

...the only thing I can ever think of is to stop working...which is a financial hit I could cope with for a year or two for respite, but am worried I'd never find a role with these hours again....and last time I said that on MN I received lots of really helpful ideas to keep me afloat so hoping that'll happen again!

OP posts:
lostmywayrightnow · 15/10/2025 21:35

I don't but I massively sympathise. Work FT and have a teen with SEN who is H/E. I literally have no time and am beyond done. Today was awful. I just work late eves and weekends which does not help as no day off ever. So hoping to learn from others.

3luckystars · 15/10/2025 21:41

This is the worst possible work arrangement, my sister did it and it almost finished her off.

You have no lunch or proper break and you are working the whole week and running constantly. It’s the worst of everything.
you have 2 jobs, it’s nuts and utterly exhausting.

Cut down a day and have one day completely free. Can you do a 3 or 4 day week?

Even for a year or two?

I have done all combinations of part time and having one full day off is the best solution, however you manage it. Then if a child gets sick midweek, you can manage.

Don’t take Mondays or Fridays off though, take a Tuesday. it breaks up the week.
On bank holidays you won’t miss out and are
not back to work until Wednesday.
sorry for rambling.

in summary: have at least one full
day off midweek if possible

OrangeChips1 · 16/10/2025 14:03

lostmywayrightnow · 15/10/2025 21:35

I don't but I massively sympathise. Work FT and have a teen with SEN who is H/E. I literally have no time and am beyond done. Today was awful. I just work late eves and weekends which does not help as no day off ever. So hoping to learn from others.

AHH I hope we find some answers!

OP posts:
OrangeChips1 · 16/10/2025 14:05

3luckystars · 15/10/2025 21:41

This is the worst possible work arrangement, my sister did it and it almost finished her off.

You have no lunch or proper break and you are working the whole week and running constantly. It’s the worst of everything.
you have 2 jobs, it’s nuts and utterly exhausting.

Cut down a day and have one day completely free. Can you do a 3 or 4 day week?

Even for a year or two?

I have done all combinations of part time and having one full day off is the best solution, however you manage it. Then if a child gets sick midweek, you can manage.

Don’t take Mondays or Fridays off though, take a Tuesday. it breaks up the week.
On bank holidays you won’t miss out and are
not back to work until Wednesday.
sorry for rambling.

in summary: have at least one full
day off midweek if possible

I can financially afford a drop in income but my employer is reluctant, I think at the most I'd be able to drop a morning but would still have the 2pm pick up. I wish I could try dropping work for a month or so to see what it feels like to only have one job!

OP posts:
3luckystars · 16/10/2025 14:17

Do that. Drop the day. You will be amazed how much better you feel.

Do that first.

MightyGoldBear · 16/10/2025 14:27

Following for advice too.
Very similar situation I had to give up work outside the home (can only manage self employed for flexibility)
It would have weeks of working and then a few illnesses or life hiccups and everything stopped working and I felt like I could never recover from those bumps in the road.I'd be stressed then I'd get ill too, vicious cycle.
I have a school refuser who needs so much scaffolding to function. It was just too stressful with an employer who constantly wanted me to put more and more into work.
9 to 2 is a great work pattern I can see why you'd be reluctant to lose that. I've been looking for that for years with no luck.

NotMeekNotObedient · 16/10/2025 16:05

Have you checked your bloods recently? I wonder if you feeling ill around your period could be low iron/ferritin? This can also lower your immune system. Don't just take what the GP says at face-value either. The reference ranges are far from optimal.

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