To be confused?

[Roguee]

So ex has children 2 nights per week, he does pay child maintenance and he said that he has looked into it and apparently he doesn’t have to supply anything for the children as that is what he pays me for. I supply all the clothes/uniform/activities etc. my son had a birthday party on one of his days and he wouldn’t even get the child a card and put some money in because apparently I should be doing it? I mean….really?

Let him be a petty vengeful bastard, your child will pick up on it... Dont retaliate, dont engage, just let him dig his own hole.

What are you confused about? He’s obviously talking rot. He’s ’looked into it’? Where and how? I assume you asked this?

Just ignore it, don’t retaliate and do the best you can by your kids, send the card next time even if it doesn’t feel fair and don’t give him
the satisfaction. There’s absolutely nothing else you can do about it, just make sure he’s paying the correct amount of maintenance and not a penny less.

Why is he being like this? They are his children!

Because hes a massive prick. Dont expect him to act like you, he isnt you. He sounds like an arse.

Let him embarrass himself, dont cover for him, dont take on extra to do his bit. If your child is going to a party whilst in his care, let him turn up empty handed if he has the gall to do it.

Let them theory - understand what is within your control, and dont be stressed what you cant change. If he wants to be a petty vengeful prick - let him be one. You show your child how to be a decent human being.

He actually did do it, I took a card into school the following day.

Well, its not only his child that knows hes a prick but the other parents too. I bet your life he didnt say "ive not bought a card because I pay child maintenance for this type of expense" - he probably blamed you for sending the child to his without the card...

He wont tell people why, because he knows its unreasonable.

You should say to him 'the fact you find the concept of buying your own child a birthday present so completely alien really does say it all about your pathetic selfish character.'

The present wasn’t for his child

Unfortunately and sadly it seems incredibly common.
My friends ex, father of her two children who he seemingly adored for their first 3 and 5 years upped and left and never saw them again. He paid the minimal maintenance he could and tried to find every way to avoid it. I don't know how he was a daddy to two lovely children and just then never saw them again without a care. It's now 15 years on and he's still not around.
Some people are just shit. He's wrong and a dickhead, but what can you do?

He is just being unreasonable for some reason, it’s not like he can’t afford it, he is currently on his 6th holiday this year!

Because he's a selfish piece of shit who is trying to get back at you for the break up.

That's men all over.

He is with somebody else now so I can’t see it being that, they were together a week after I ended it

But they airbrush their previous lives out of existence. It's easier for them.

Has the new woman got children?

Yes she has one child. He is high school age

Ok that wasn't clear to me at all! Thanks for clarifying.

My ex paid £300 a month from when my ds was 2 to the day he turned 18, nothing else. It was set up in court, in the meantime he earnt £75k a year and wouldn't even help with ds first rental deposit. Fast forward, ds is 23 and doesn't bother speaking to him. Unfortunately maintenance is set up as a percentage they pay of their net income. They aren't required to pay anything else and many view it that they are paying for 'everything' anyway.

Legal and moral obligations are very different. He’s being a twat but I figure you know that and it’s why he’s your ex.