Children's Services Involvement

[Scorchio72]

I realise we are in an unusual situation as my partner has a daughter who lives with her maternal grandmother and we have a son who lives with us, both children living under different local authorities.

My partner has a history of abusive relationships and befriending sex offenders, plus due to disability her daughter lives with her grandmother and has done since my partner left an abusive relationship.

Children's Services have restricted her contact with her daughter to supervised contact only due to her history of abusive relationships and her previous involvement with sex offenders.

We were completely honest about this with children's services in our local authority and they have not put any restrictions on contact with our baby, though after my partner confessed that she had sent a photograph of the children to a friend in prison we have been in Child Protection.

The photo was sent without my knowledge and while she had asked for my opinion previously I said categorically that she shouldn't send it. To put the relationship into context though, this is my partner's daughter's Godfather who had no convictions when he became her Godfather.

We have now completed a few courses with children's services in our local authority (goodness knows why this couldn't have happened years ago when the neighbouring LA got involved with the daughter) and our social worker recently said that the only reason she cannot recommend leaving Child Protection is because of the restrictions with her daughter.

The daughter's social worker is not prepared to lift those restrictions while we are on the child protection register with our baby, so as we see it we are stuck in a stalemate until her daughter is 18.

Has anyone else been in this position where two local authorities are waiting for the other to make the first move. We are very concerned that this stalemate could escalate if neither social worker is prepared to step down before the other that either one is going to get trigger happy and use the fact that involvement with another child is grounds to escalate to PLO or care proceedings as both Local Authorities have a power struggle between them, with the children being the ones to suffer.

I think it’s a very good thing that social services stay involved. It sounds like your partner does not have the ability to keep her children safe.

You are not being clear, what is it you are asking. Of course they won’t lift the restrictions on her daughter, why would you think they should? And why would you think it would escalate if you wife doesn’t engage with sex offenders over her own children any more?

It sounds unusual for children’s services to intend to continue with CPP for an indefinite amount of time. I would also be worrying about potential PLO. Can you seek specialist legal advice?

It’s not unusual if she’s sending images of her kid to a sex offender.

Sounds like your partner isn’t capable of keeping her children safe, and it’s for the best that social services continue to be involved for awhile.

If your partner doesn’t do anything wrong then what’s the issue with having a social worker?

They should most definitely stay involved if your wife has so little insight as to send a photo of your child to a sex offender.
You are focusing on the wrong thing here.

Are you for real? If you don’t see the danger that your partner is to your child then you are also a danger. Bringing a child into this situation was total madness.

Those poor children. I’m very glad that social services are on the scene at least keeping them safe.

What is the child’s godfather in prison for? Why would she send a photo of your child to this friend in prison when you specifically said you weren’t happy about it? It seems sensible to keep children’s services involved because it seems like she will not prioritise her children’s safety. If she carries on as she has before then be prepared to throw her under a bus and go for full custody of your child by yourself to keep them safe.

Is the person in prison a sex offender OP?

Why are you still in a relationship with a sex-offender-lover?

The situation will only escalate if you or your partner do something to further put your children at risk. The CP registration will have a plan attached to strengthen your child’s safety, so I’d be following that plan very carefully. I’d also be exploring with social work what they need to see happen to lift the contact restrictions with your partners child. Supervised contact and CP plans cost time and money, no one keeps them in place for shits and giggles, so find out what is needed and do it.

The first thing I’d do is remove the unsafe influence in your child’s life, ie your partners.

Why are you in a relationship with this woman? It’s sounds like you aren’t intellectual equals and there is more going on with her. She has no ability to safeguard, at best. She’s sinister/enabling at worst.

Having a history of befriending sex offenders is bloody weird, but sending pictures needs to ring alarm bells to you.

Why is she sending? Why are men asking?

It’s truly bizarre. Take your son and go!

Just to clarify the man in prison who she sent the photo to, was he convicted of sexual offenses against children?

My partner has a history of abusive relationships and befriending sex offenders

Well thank God SS are involved.

How much knowledge did you have of your partners history before you decided to become a couple and have another child?

What is the Godfather in prison for? If he's in prison for sexual offences, and your partner sent him a picture of her child, then she clearly has no regard for her own child's safety. If he's in prison for something other than child sexual offences, then it was still a misjudgement on her part. The picture could easily be seen by someone in prison who does have nefarious interests in children. Child Protection services think your partner is a risk to her children, that she's incapable of prioritising their safety, by the choices she's making. It sounds, as if they're spot on too! The fact your partner asked your opinion about sending a picture of your child, and you said no, to which she ignored and sent it anyway. That one example tells you, that your partner isn't putting her children first. Is your partner intellectually challenged? Is there a reason why she can't see what's glaringly obvious. I ask, simply because I can't see any other reason why someone would behave in this way. Given your partner's history, and lack of understanding, I'm not sure I could stay with someone who I couldn't trust with my child.

OP, it might be worth disclosing if your partner has additional needs or mental health issues at all, as the advice will be different if she does.

Why did yoy have a child with your partner? She has shown over and over again that she is not safe to be around children. I wouldn't want my children around her and I am very surprised that you are not worried. Does she have a cognitive disability? Like very low iq ?

It's better for both children that CP remains.

I'm hoping this isn't serious. She cannot be near children she has proven that and rightly she can't live with her daughter. But you knew she had this history and still you went ahead and had a child with her? Or did it come to light after she gave birth? Either way you are demonstrating you're not capable of safeguarding your child imo! If it was me I wouldn't of had a child with this person and if it came to light afterwards I would be taking my child far, far away from her.

Have SS been made aware that she is sending photos of her own child to a known sex offender?

It sounds like their involvement is very much needed and you should be questioning if she can keep your child safe.

No

Seek an advocate and have a meeting with both social workers in the same room?

It is unusual for social care to intend to stay on CPP indefinitely, regardless of the reasons, as the children will not be safe this way. That is what I am saying. That PLO is the next expected step.

@Scorchio72 are you male? Do you think your partner is a good mother?