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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to change the Christmas norm

3 replies

Moneypotwoes · 15/10/2025 14:42

For years and years I've happily bought gifts for family members at Christmas.
For the last few years its just felt so transactional and expected for some members. Last year my niece and her family, according to SIL, didn't have time to get us gift as they were going on holiday. We didn't even get a card.
My nephew has never ever sent us a card even.
My niece on another side asks for expensive or difficult to find perfume every year, which miraculously I find. I've told her not to ask for the impossible again so she said to just get Amazon or Boots vouchers instead.
Its all just so 'meh'
We don't see anyone at Christmas, just do an exchange of gifts in early December of which we organise, drive 2 hrs away and deliver. If we didn't deliver it wouldn't happen. There is just no joy.
This years delivery has been arranged but its now a chore and I just can't be arsed. The one particular niece and nephew I want to forget altogether, but if I do they may buy for me this year and I will feel bad.
How do I tactfully say we're dropping Christmas gifts and a card is sufficient?
We don't get thank yous, or acknowledgement for gifts so why bother?
To be clear its just, niece's and nephews and their kids. The two sisters, PIL and an uncle are all ok...its just the younger generation I want to knock on the head.
Can anyone help with any advice, or have I left it too late for this year, and start for next year? Am I mean?

OP posts:
TeeBee · 15/10/2025 14:46

I wouldn't bother. You can download an Amazon voucher in minutes so if they buy for you, you can email them a voucher.

FreeTheOakTree · 15/10/2025 14:48

You aren't mean at all.

I stopped all this nonsense years ago.

Add everyone in a WA and say that you don't want to exchange gifts anymore.

Short, simple, honest. The ridiculousness around exchanging gifts with all and sundry at Christmas is exhausting, expensive and just daft.

Vaxtable · 15/10/2025 14:49

Just send a text to them now saying hi xxx. Been thinking, with everything being so expensive now and with us all being so busy I think it’s time to knock buying Christmas presents on the head, we can all buy what we need anyway, so I intend to start it from this year

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