Messages unread - AIBU?

[BlueToneTess]

so many of us use what’s app, I have a friend of mine who recently created a what’s app group of friends (couples) but did not include me or another wife, despite the last time she did this she included us both without issue. There followed an invitation which clearly I never saw! Any experience of rude behaviour on social media like this or am I lucky to have it targeted to me ! ?

Hrft but exclusion is a form of bullying.
So I would no longer want to be friends, but that's probably her intention.

So, what you invite everyone you know to every WhatsApp group and event?

Whilst exclusion might be bullying it makes a mockery of the term to apply it to what might be a simple oversight

Do you find bullying crops up a lot in your life?

I see it alot. And I recognise it alot.
Thanks, take an inward look.

More reading if you are interested
williamsburgtherapygroup.com/blog/bullying-by-exclusion-how-this-common-tactic-is-used-and-how-to-heal

Your husband was on the group, he got the invite … you are therefore invited, unless each member of a couple needs an individual invitation

If your WhatsApp messages are as hard to follow as your post here then I’m not surprised you were not added. You sound really hard work.

Hrtft but the messages weren’t unread or unseen…if anything they were unsent because you weren’t invited to the group. If someone never bought, wrote or posted a card to you, would you say it was undelivered? Sorry you’ve been left out but these things are rarely in error (although weird that your husband was included). Enjoy your Halloween event.

WOW

someone is having a party. THEY invited you via your husband.
By adding one of you to an open group where others can add you.

you are busy anyway.

You are so very unreasonable

Thank you for being so honest. I would like to have your life !

I’d guess most people don’t have time to be triple checking WhatsApp groups when they’ve covered enough bases to make sure the messages get to the right people.

DH and I went to a wedding las weekend, only DH was added to the WhatsApp group by the bride. He relayed every message to me, but made the mistake of not adding me as he missed the time for the breakfast meet up whereas I would’ve spotted it. I gently ribbed him for it but didn’t for a second consider this the bride’s fault.

You got the invite as intended, you can’t make it, you’ve declined and nothing else to worry about…

Maybe she finds you tricky to communicate with and hard to understand (based on what I've seen on this thread).

Threads like these always highlight to me the huge differences in the way people use and perceive What’s App. I think of it as a very casual and informal way to communicate. If I was inviting a couple and I got one of them on the group, I’d think “good enough, they’ll both know” and wouldn’t be at all fussed if that member of the couple added the other member. I also don’t see any problem with leaving it a few days to reply to a message unless it’s obviously time critical (eg “are you free for a quick coffee right after school drop off in 5 minutes), and I wouldn’t expect anyone to use it for anything urgent and important. If it’s urgent and important, telephone me!

But then I read threads like this where posters are analysing the time gap between messages being read and received, who is added to a group, etc, as if they were taking my an A level in the deep meaning of instant messaging and are creating complicated narratives about how good a friend someone is based on response times etc and it blows my mind.