Would you move your child?

[Wednesdayschild87]

I have posted on this before. Basically my 7 yr old son who is very bright and sociable loved his first couple of years at school but then half way through YR2 his best friend found someone else who he shared interests with and my son has been left a bit high and dry since. He has tried to join other friendship groups but doesn’t seem to get anywhere. In fact a whole group of boys decided to ignore him for no reason instigated by one of the boys who’s quite a strong character. I did speak to his year 2 teacher who spoke to the class and the boys mother but now in year 3 he’s still as lonely as ever.
He does lots of activities which he enjoys outside school and he seems happy enough at home but I wonder would it be worth moving him? His school is currently in deficit and TA roles have been cut to the bone and pastoral care seems very thin on the ground. I worry that if I do move him to a bigger school the same thing might happen.

I personally wouldn't move him to a different school.

Not only could the same thing happen regarding the TA roles and the pastoral care, but friendships will already be established at the potential new school, so he'll find it even harder to enter into a friendship group. I would keep him where he is now. There's every chance he will make other friends, like if a new student transfers there or he might get approached by a kid who he's never really spoken to before.

I know it's awful seeing our kids lose friendships, but unless he is being bullied and the school isn't doing anything about it, it's not worth moving schools over. He'll find someone else to fit in with. Kids are resilient and can make friends with basically anyone x

In this situation I would actually ask him how he feels about moving and see what he says. My DS has just moved schools because of friendship difficulties in his class and bullying by an older boy on the playground that they weren’t dealing with. We actually moved abroad but one of the reasons we decided to accept the opportunity was because DS was unhappy so there was nothing keeping us in the UK. He is so much happier in his new school. Sometimes a fresh start is all they need. I don’t think familiarity in a place where they are ostracised and sad is a good thing at all. It sets them up for low confidence and difficulties knowing how to make/keep friends later on. And how much worse would he feel if that mythical transfer student appeared and had nothing in common with DS and joined the other boys instead? This has gone on long enough IME so I’d see what DS thinks about possibly moving him.

Thanks both for your response. I’ve decided to move him private for year 5. He’ll have to struggle through for the next few years