Social services making up lies to fit their narrative (and failing to protect with evidence)

[seasid]

long story short I left my abusive ex when pregnant. He took me to court and they allowed contact. To be fair ‘co-parenting’ (more parallel parenting) had been going well and we pretty much grey rock eachother at handovers and tell eachother what we need to hear and that’s that. Outside looking in, I thought he was a good dad but I knew that I didn’t know what went on behind closed doors.

Well this was until son made an allegation against dad in school and social services got involved. He said dad hurting him but somehow the social didn’t seem to care because dad isn’t the resident parent. Social instead of putting our child on the protection register to say that son is a risk of being physically harmed by dad again - they put him on the emotional harm register. They have made up some weird narrative that has no context to anything and they have said that me and dad argue in front of our child and exposed our son to emotional harm - I record all handovers so I have proof we have never argued in front of our child. EVER.

im so heartbroken that they have filled some random narrative instead of investigating why the school reported to them in the first place. My son is being harmed, the words literally came from the child with evidence from school and medical evidence from two doctors who said it was a grab mark - but social didn’t care??? At the meeting they didn’t even ask the school for the transcript of my son alleging abuse against dad. They have basically told me that I’m risking emotional harm against my child if I don’t allow dad contact (I withheld due to son accusing dad of abuse), and they threatened that if I don’t allow contact and co operate I risk him being removed from my care. So I have to hand my son over to the man my child has said hurt him, and the social don’t care about that?? Even one of the social workers was baffled about this entire situation as he said that everything about my record is clean, no concerns or involvement until son made an allegation against dad and now I’m roped into it.

When people say that ‘social don’t take kids for no reason’ they literally seem to do so if you try to safeguard your kids from their abuser.

This is the oldest thing I've read about SS. I thought their priority was protecting the child ?
Can you appeal the decision? Is there an Ombudsman ?.
I'm sorry I can't help any more than this.

Hi OP, have you reported this allegation to the police? If not, please do so. They will investigate and send a report to Social Services. Without this, you're in "he said, she said" territory. That said, they have absolutely no right to threaten to remove your child. That isn't their decision either.

Hang on -
there is a court order in place? Social services can't override a court order. Your understanding of things is quite muddled - there is no child protection or emotional harm register. Have they advised you to go back to court to amend the court order? Because if you don't, and you continue to withhold the child from his father, you DO risk the court placing your child with his father. Social services can't remove him from your care under the circumstances you describe so the social worker cannot have been making any kind of threat of that nature. It sounds more like they were warning you of what will happen if you continue to breach the court order. Remember that the family court and social services are completely separate entities.

My assumption from this may be that there are also many cases where a child has been told off and then claimed to have been hurt,or hit because they didn't like the telling off, especially younger children. So if things were looked into it could possibly have been something very simple aswell

You never, ever make that assumption when a child reports potential abuse. Ever. You never automatically take the word of an adult over that of a child, absent other evidence, in these cases. It is always child first. Children can't defend themselves.

Too nant variables, age of dc, what exactly did they say happened were they " grabbed' contact order etc to say SS are wrong.

If you think your son is at risk of being harmed in his father’s care, you need to go back to court and seek to amend the court order.

It’s possible - cannot say how likely it is - that a court could rule that your ex should have increased or even full custody if you continue to withhold access to your son unilaterally. I imagine that’s what the social workers were talking about when they said you risked losing custody.

Also, do you have any clearer sense from your son of what happened beyond his dad ‘grabbing’ him? I’m sure most parents have at some point had to forcefully grab their child to stop them, for example, bolting in front of a car, and sometimes that might leave a bruise. I once partially dislocated my 7 year old daughter’s shoulder when I had to grab her to stop her falling down an escalator after she was knocked over by a boy messing around. She was proudly walking around telling anyone who would listen that ‘mummy pulled my arm out’…

I’m not saying that’s definitely the case here - just that it’s possible.

You need to make an official complaint to social services.