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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still be deeply upset by this comment

27 replies

DeepRubySwan · 14/10/2025 13:45

My DH and I have been together for 26 years since I was 20 (and he was 27). He has alot of great qualities and is a great father but can have dark moods and be very insensitive to my feelings. We have a largely sexless relationship due to his very low libido. We have two children 17 and 10.

I am close to leaving and I have been for some time over many things. A comment he made 8 years ago deeply wounded me and I have never been able to get over it.

He said that I 'dress like a slut ' and that other people probably think this too (specifically other mothers). When I became upset he refused to apologise and said that 'all the women at his work' would have found this comment funny and dealt with it just fine and I was over reacting. He was angry that I was upset.

My feelings for him changed that day. For what it's worth I don't dress like that. I wear the same clothes other women wear and try to be elegant and put together. There have been other horrible comments but that's the worst. I just can't get over it.

Part of me thinks I should get over it. AIBU?

OP posts:
TalulahJP · 14/10/2025 20:19

No sex and dark moods. Nope. Fuck that.

If you want to stay I’d suggest he gets an ultimatum about going to the gp for medication. I made my ex gp. He was bipolar and a living nightmare. It’s not love. It’s just companionship and hes not even good at that.

DeepRubySwan · 14/10/2025 21:42

Skybluepinky · 14/10/2025 15:31

Sounds like your relationship finished when he made that comment, strange you stayed, leave him.

I stayed because of our children. I know I should leave. I'm trying to.

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