My son and his eating habbits, should i be concerned or not?

[eggnest]

My son is 17 nearly 18 he's independent driving about etc and has an apprenticeship, its just me and him, his father died a little over a year ago so i am probably more lenient than i used to be but im in a bit of a dilema.

i always cook dinner for us both everyday, always something he likes and he does eat some of it... just not all of it or anywhere near what he should eat of it.

in his room, its full of sweets, cake wrappers, biscuits etc. he's not overweight or underweight but still its irritating somewhat. hes quite active with football etc but then when he is home is on the xbox mostly eating sweets and biscuits etc.

he doesnt actually waste the food, he will put it in a sandwich box and take it to work with him and microwave it, and will help out if i ask i've no issue its just i know hes not eating a decent diet.

but he's basically an adult, its his choice right? anyone else dealing with this any advice?

or am i being unreasonable, just leave him to it? i want him to be independent and feel i shouldnt get involved tbh, his body his choice and i can only offer decent food in the fridge and the option right?

just for clarity, im not buying the biscuits and sweets, i mean we have a few in the house for treats but he dont eat those, he will just buy his own from farm foods, pounland etc, im pretty sure if i interfere he will just buy them and eat them out the house anyway at the same time as him getting annoyed at me.

i dont know im just a bit lost, and with my husband gone i dont have that voice of reason anymore.

I mean it's not a healthy way to live, but he's a teenager. Not famed for making the best decisions.

I'd probably stop cooking for him at least some of the time. Initially he might just up his junk food intake, but in the long run he'll probably start planning and cooking his own meals.

i cook for myself anyway so its no bother really and he has the option of having it or eating some biscuits he's bought i guess...

your right im overthinking it, he's old enough to feed himself tbh.

Teens aren’t exactly known for making healthy decisions! It could be a lot worse than junk food. I imagine he’s just enjoying the freedom that comes with being an almost adult and working but still living at home so it’s all disposable income. Once the novelty wears off and/or he moves out and has more important things to spend his money on then I suspect he won’t still be doing it and he’ll be really eager for a proper home cooked meal again!

I would leave him to if . He’s old enough to decide what he eats . My adult son is at home and eats crap most of the time . His choice . I don’t get involved .

I ate absolutely shite at that age. I don’t think there is a lot you can do really

I understand how you feel as I find it painful to see the things my teen dcs buy and eat. However as others have said there is nothing you can do as you cant control a child that age. Like the previous person said, I try to be grateful that im dealing with sweets and biscuits rather than alcohol/drugs!!

sorry to hear about your DH 🌷

Obviously at DS age & level of independence you can't 'control' it in any way & yes, it could be a LOT worse, but that doesn't mean you don't want better for him.

How much have you tried talking to him about the dreadful affect sugar & sweetners can have on your body. It's said it's going to be the 'smoking' of this era. I would definitely talk to him but not make it nagging & not discuss how much of meals he's eating (ie not) just cutting back on sugar.

breakfast - what's he having? Will he have eggs etc. starting the day with protein rather than sugar (white sliced loaf. Cereal etc) will also help.

Is he into any kind of sport or fitness? That is what seems to help them eat less shite.

Do you think there's an emotional aspect to the eating linked to grief for his father? Can you speak to him about this?

At his age, I think he can eat what he likes, but you could certainly just have a casual chat with him about the amount of sweet things he seems to eat. If he plays football, maybe point out that he'll have a lot more energy if he eats more balanced meals rather than trying to fuel up on sugar? Ultimately it's choice but a non-pressurised conversation might at least make him think a bit. I might also be inclined to ask if he thinks he comfort-eats.

YANBU to be concerned. That's called parenting.

I would perhaps approach it tactfully and just say you're concerned about the amount of processed junk they're eating, and would it help if you bought some healthier stuff for them to snack on instead.

If they decline there's not much you can do.

My dd went through this but she was a bit younger. Added in was her guilt and shame about it and worry about putting on weight which at least doesn’t seem to be bothering your son! I’d say just don’t comment on it. He will decide himself when he’s a bit more mature - my Ds aged 17 recently gave up sugar completely ! There’s kinda no point saying anything - you have to trust them to come out of it. I think the fact I didn’t say anything to my dd helped her decide to come out of it herself

ive done this already tbh, and i bought some stuff he could take to work, healthy options etc, if i dont make it though.... it will sit in the fridge unmade while he favors xbox time.

ill make the odd one but as a single parent now im a bit time poor in all honesty

he's a good kid, he dont expect it, or ask for it, and he's grateful etc, but he wont prioritise his time to do it himself, but i guess hes a teenager and im sure he will learn at some point.

he cleans his room and occasionally empties the dishwasher and theres no alcohol or drugs, so i guess im lucky

i kinda posted on here as a bit of a sounding board i guess as over the past year i've just been too busy to keep most of the friendship groups with others who have teenagers, so thanks for the reply's, certainly helpful.