Mixed sex sleepover at 7?

[lorinay]

DS has just turned seven, his best friend is a little girl and she’s 6.

They have regular play dates and he’s been now invited for a sleepover.

Would I BU to let him go?

Of course you wouldn’t. They are young and friends. As long as the age ok with the idea of staying elsewhere over night and you are comfortable with the parents I’d say go for it.

I think I misread/misunderstood the above posted I quoted. You’d be unreasonable to say no to a sleepover. I’m both curious and concerned about why you’re concerned about this.

I wouldn't be worried about it being mixed, but I wouldn't be keen for sleepovers in general.

At 7 I only allow sleepovers with families I know well. It wouldn’t bother me at that age that it was mixed sex. (My son was quite often the only boy at sleepovers at that age because all his friends were girls, but they’d all been friends as a group since they were toddlers!)

No way.

My DDis 9, one of her oldest and one of her best friends is a boy, she's been having sleepovers with him for years. When they were that age they probably slept top to tail, now they will have their own beds but I have 0 worries that anything would happen. It helps that the parents are good friends.

Absolutely not. Awful idea for many reasons.

I used to have sleepovers with friends who were boys at that age. Don't see a problem with this.

Two 6/7yos are fine together, whatever sex.
The bigger question is whether they are mature enough for a sleepover or will it end in tears and being collected in the middlebif the night.

7 was early for sleepovers for us but the child’s gender wouldn’t phase me. My daughter has a friend who is a boy and he’s been at 3 of her sleepover parties.

Such as?

My youngest had a couple of sleepovers with girls at that age. Lovely friendship group who all slept over with one another

Two 7-year-olds aren’t going to try to shag each other.

Before anyone pipes up about kids being ‘curious’ about each other’s bodies when they’re little, at the age of seven that applies just as much to kids of the same sex as it does to kids of the opposite sex.

If you’re worried about sleepovers full stop, that’s fine, don’t let him go. But if you’re only worried because the friend is a little girl, YABU. They’re 7!

What reasons?

The sex of the child is a red herring. At that age there should be no concern about mixed sex socialising in any context - unless you have seen/heard something that gives you cause for concern? If so, that’s a safeguarding issue that should be raised with SS or school.

For me, the question is how well you know the family, and whether you trust them with your child.

Kids are at their most vulnerable when asleep. It’s not the child I would worry about but the other people in the house. Personally 7 is too young but each to their own.

@lorinay was a discussion on the radio recently about kids and sleepovers.
specialist said at that age it’s great fun for kids and all incident and exciting .
However when they hit teens probably tweens these days mind, it’s then about sex .

Personally I don't allow sleepovers, I would allow them at mine and do. That’s the other children’s parent’s choice to make.

I know you didn’t quote me but I’ll give some reasons:

Most 7yo’s aren’t used to being away from parents/family members overnight. They’re still really little and likely to become upset or unsettled at night.

Risk from the other child’s parents/parent’s partners. I live quite locally to where Damian Bendall murdered his partner, her 2 children and another child at the house for a sleepover. Of course this is an extreme and incredibly rare incident, but it’s not worth sending your kids to a strange home where any adult could have access to your child.

Lack of independence. 7yo’s are really too young to make their own decisions in certain situations and are more likely to give in to peer pressures, and engage in activity that they don’t want to do.

Obviously every parent is different, and there’s nothing wrong with sending your young child to a sleepover if you deem it appropriate. But some parents wouldn’t be happy, and others need to respect their choices.

Absolutely did not allow a sleepover anywhere until child was 15. You don’t know what the hell goes on in other people’s houses however well you think you know them.

I have a 7 year old and I wouldn’t have an issue with him having a sleepover at a girl’s house. However, I think 7 is a little young for sleepovers. If he’s excited to go then absolutely yes, but I would be half expecting to collect in the middle of the night.

I think it’s fine. And my children had sleepovers at that age.

But that’s just sleepovers in general. The OP’s title makes it clear that her issue is specifically the fact that it’s a mixed sex friendship that concerns her.

She’s not asking ‘Is 7 too young for a sleepover?’

She’s asking ‘Is it OK that the other 7-year-old at the proposed sleepover is a girl when my child is a boy’?

I don’t have kids and I have zero opinion on what age sleepovers are OK. I would have thought it just depends on the child and how well you know the other parents. I do have an opinion on people thinking small children can’t be trusted alone together purely because they’re the opposite sex, though.

I'm a little anxious about sending mine for sleepovers but I'd 100% allow mixed sex sleepovers at my house. Most of My sons friends are girls.

I think it's fine at that age if you know and trust the parents. Gender is irrelevant it just hinges if you think the parents will look after them well.

As long as you know the parents will keep him safe, I'd let him go.

Unfortunately I agree with this. Having experienced some difficult things as a child, it wasn't other children I needed to be most worried about.

I know that is a horrible thing to have to consider and I guess given my history perhaps I am too cautious but I am not keen on overnights. My DS has done a couple with a close friend now he is older, and I have had the child here as well but whilst I cannot guarantee it - I think my DS is more able now at his age to tell me if something made him uncomfortable or had happened.

The mixed sex thing, especially at such a young age wouldn't be a concern for me. If you know the family well, whilst it isn't a complete protection, it may give you a lot of reassurance and there are ways to make it easier for your child to share with you if something happened.

I apologise for being such a negative nelly, I wish we lived in a better world.