To have drifted from my BF since I had a baby ?

[L20]

My BF & I had our babies 6 months apart (she had her baby first). When I was pregnant we were both so excited to spend lots of time together with the babies, but since i had my baby, I feel like we are just at such different stages with the babies that it feels like a bit of a chore.

She messages me often & is always suggesting meet ups but I’m struggling to find the motivation to even reply half the time, and then feel bad when I realize it’s been a week & I’ve not messaged her back.

When we do meet up it’s tricky as her baby is crawling now and doesn’t want to sit in the pram whereas my baby still does.

I don’t think it helps that she didn’t really hit it off with her antenatal group so doesn’t really have any other mum friends whereas I did. I see them several times a week, we are always messaging on our group chat & I just find it easier to socialise with Mums who are going through the same thing as me at the same time.

AIBU for feeling like this ? I do feel bad about it but I just feel so distant from her at the moment.

Sorry OP but I think YABU and possibly clouded by the fact you’re getting on so well with your antenatal mums?

Of course it’s nice to have mum friends going through the same thing as you but in the grand scheme of things, 6 months really isn’t that much and it won’t be long till they are both doing the same things. Surely you can go for a walk or to each others houses ?!

It’s really shitty to not reply to your friend in a week if you’re messaging the other group all the time !! I feel sorry for your friend tbh.

6 months is nothing! Your being a shitty friend sorry op.

Surely you could meet somewhere where it's safe for her baby to crawl (at home!), and yours could sit happily in the pushchair, bouncy chair, swing etc? If you wanted to make it happen you would...

I'm sorry I don't get this, I meet up with my friends whose children are YEARS older. We manage to make it work.

It sounds like you’ve replaced her with your new friends. You can choose your friendships and don’t need to meet up with someone you don’t want to meet up, but I don’t think that the babies being at different stages is a reason not to meet your old friend. She went through exactly the same stage not long ago and you can talk with her about the stage your baby currently is in, and see what’s next in store. I’m sure you could go on a walk with both your babies in their prams, or go to an activity where her baby can crawl around while you hold your baby.

It sounds like you don’t value her friendship. 6 months really isn’t that far apart and if your baby is immobile that means you have more flexibility in terms of what you can do. My best friend had a baby a couple of months before me and our time spent with the babies has been so incredibly special and one of my fave parts of mat leave.

Sorry OP but a 6 month gap is nothing. Meet somewhere like each others houses where the older baby can crawl and yours can sit in a bouncer. You are being a rubbish friend

There's hardly any age gap, they'll be toddlers at the same time and then in the same school year so I wouldn't use that as an excuse. Sounds like you don't want to be friends much anymore?

You are trying to justify being a shitty friend and ditching your actual friend for acquaintances at baby group. I've never heard anything so ridiculous as being at different stages because there is 6 months between the babies. There is a larger gap with my friends DC and mine and it never made any difference to the friendship.
Carry on as you are but be prepared to lose your best friend who would probably have been there for life and end up with regret when maternity leave ends and there is the inevitable drift with the mums from antenatal class.