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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To choose this secondary school?

27 replies

ThatRareQuoter · 13/10/2025 18:31

My nearest secondary is Ofsted 'Outstanding' and gets amazing results -way above average. It's progress 8 score is also really high. It's 10 minutes walk away, great facilities and my DD's friends will all be going. People move to the area specifically for this school. Sounds like a no brainer right?

However, my DD doesn't think she wants to go and I'm not sure it's the right school for her. This is because:
-It's incredibly strict - they are unapologetic about this. Very strict uniform policy, very easy to get a detention etc.
-It felt very corporate at the open day. I didn't like the head at all. Made little effort to sell the school other than boast about its results.
-The speeches by the kids felt insincere/scripted
-There isn't much emphasis on pastoral support
-Communication between the schools and parents is known to be pretty poor. They tell you how it is - it's not a two way street. Confirmed by many parents.

Lots of parents seem to forgive the school all this due to it's results.

Alternatively, we have another school a bus ride away, which she should get into. On paper it is very much a poor relation. Much weaker results and progress 8 score (although above national average in both cases), and a much higher proportion of disadvantaged kids. Ofsted 'good' .

BUT, going round it we both really liked it!

-Great site - lots of space and excellent facilities
-The head tried really hard to sell it to us and interacted well with parents after his talk (no sign of the head at the other place - she was out of there like a shot)
-A welcoming feel. We were taken round by two lovely year 9s who spoke very candidly
-Lots of emphasis on pastoral support and transition for year 7
-Wellbeing hub with sensory rooms and counsellors (my DD has autism so this is important)
-The kids looked happy and engaged

We don't know anyone with kids at school 2 so it feels like a gamble. Plus getting there would be a bit of a pain. AIBU to choose it as our first preference? Has anyone else just gone with their gut rather than the obvious choice on paper?

OP posts:
ThatRareQuoter · 13/10/2025 22:46

Thank you all for your thoughts - they're all really helpful and making me see that I should trust my gut.

That is a really good point about Progress 8 scores @splim - I never thought about it like that.

Very encouraging to hear the stories of kids who have thrived in similar schools. Thank you.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 13/10/2025 22:49

Wellbeing hub with sensory rooms and counsellors (my DD has autism so this is important)

So
What matters to you?
And to dd?

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