What do you do for your kids' birthdays now they're adults?

[SurelyiCantBeOldEnough]

Son is turning 20.

What did you do for their 20th? How do you celebrate now they're growing up? (Still living at home btw).

And Christmas for that matter.

I'm interested in this also!

We just go out for a meal when dd1 is home & give her something to open on her actual birthday. Christmas is the same it's always been really, she still loves a stocking 🤣

Depends what he enjoys doing but I wouldn’t and didn’t expect my parents to organise something for me at that age. We would go out for dinner as a family and they would pay. Or they would make a nice meal and we would have cake.
I would have going out plans with friends.

I can see myself taking my DC to the theatre and dinner when they are adults but would expect to work around their plans with friends/partners.

Yep, generally go out for a meal. If we do anything else, it's mostly something we'd have done anyway that just happens to coincide with the birthday.

We usually go out for a nice meal together or have a celebratory meal at home. They also go for a night out with their mates. Christmas we have a big Christmas meal and then they are free to go out and see mates or sometimes they just chill at home in the evening and play cards with a cheeseboard and snacks and drinks. It's lovely and a lot more relaxed then when they were all young children!

DS1 went to the theatre for his 20th (I think). Bowling for his 21st.
DS2 wants to go to the zoo for his 19th.

Christmas is the same as when they were small. Stockings in the morning before Church. Presents throughout the day.

Take them out for a meal. A few presents to open, but mainly money given.

We'd usually start the day with a nice breakfast and we have some balloons and banners up,then they open their presents and then the rest of the day depends if their not working then they'd probably had plans with one of their siblings(we have 5DC)who'd take them out for lunch or they'd meet up with friends and then in the evening We'd get a takeaway that they've chosen and after they'd have their birthday cake and yes we sing happy birthday and stick candles on the cake.

If it's a big birthday We'd either take everyone out for a meal on us and we'd take their birthday cake with us that or they'd have a party it would be their choice and me and my DH would pay for it.

Christmas I still do a stocking for everyone(only our youngest DD18 still lives at home)including for our 2 DILs.Christmas morning me,DH,DD22,DD18 and our DGS (DD22 and DGS are staying for the week)will be with us,everyone will open their stockings while their still in bed then we come down have a nice breakfast whilst opening presents,Christmas dinner I do in the afternoon and then we have a buffet in the evening and all of our DC our DILs and our baby DGD can come over whenever they like.

Even if they still live at home, depends what they are already doing.

So it will be a big family dinner of course, but if they have planned a weekend or week away with their friends, dinner will be at home (we'll pay for the trip anyway)

If they just plan on having a night out, going away for a long weekend at leat to celebrate.

Christmas, again depends what they are doing - if they want to go skiing with their friends, then we'll do presents when they're back.

Family dinner, birthday cake, present and a card

It’s my younger sister’s birthday tomorrow (23 and still lives at home) and mum has organised a meal out with all of us, she will also put banners up around the house get a cake and yes we will be expected to sing happy birthday, of course! I’m slightly older with my own family now and she still does the same for me bless her! Christmas my mum still does a stocking for sister who lives at home and gets her a few presents. For me it might be paying for me to get my hair done or a day out somewhere nice with the kids, something more ‘practical’ if that makes sense. Saying that, we went to mum and dad’s for Christmas last year and there was also a stocking for me. Very generous of her I must say as I know friend’s whose parents haven’t bothered since they were 18

My DDs are 25 and 23. Eldest has her own house, we usually see her the nearest weekend to her birthday and either have a meal at hers or ours or go out for day and we do cake and pressies .
Younger dd is big on celebrating, she will decorate the house for all birthdays so we do it for her and usually go out somewhere and again birthday tea, cake and pressies.
Christmas currently we do Xmas eve at grandparents, Xmas day at ours then both DDs go to their bfs houses Boxing Day and we go my in-laws and we all spend new year together.

For birthdays we either go out for a meal or have a takeaway. We still get them lots of gifts, decorate the house, have cake, a few drinks etc. Obviously we work this around any plans they have with friends.

Christmas, we still buy lots of gifts, have dinner at home or go to a restaurant, take the dogs on a big walk afterwards, watch films, play switch, board games, just as we’ve always done. They love that it hasn’t changed.

Son (mid 20s) lives away now, but he will visit on a weekend near his birthday, and I take him away for the night to a posh hotel, or for a meal and cinema - pretty much how we always celebrated. I still put up 'Happy Birthday' bunting etc.

Presents-wise I don't really do them as I pay for various subscriptions and insurances for him, so that's his birthday/Christmas presents (his choice). At Christmas we still do it exactly the same as we always have (but not necessarily on Xmas Day itself), but he has stocking-filler type presents in his sack, rather than expensive ones.

If they are around we’ll go out for dinner but generally not a lot, they are adults with lives of their own

Doesn't it depend on the young person? Some of them won't want any kind of fuss.
I suspect that most just want to see their mates.
Some may want to have a meal or night out with family.
So ask them!

They're not children, they don't need surprises, just treat them like any other adult and respect their wishes (assuming they haven't asked for a Ferrari or similar!).

If you're also thinking of a present, just transfer an appropriate and affordable amount into their bank account.

Thanks all. Yep, plan is the usual family breakfast, bunting, balloons etc. He's away with his GF for his actual birthday night so maybe a family meal at the weekend (we always did their parties at the weekend and family meal out on their actual birthday). How much do you spend on pressies? As much as you always did (and the same as on the younger ones)? Or less now?

I'm aware that what we do for the eldest we will continue for the younger ones- plus for their spouses (in future so wanting to get this right!

Nothing really. Maybe cook their favourite meal or get a takeaway. We don't really celebrate adult birthdays in our family. In fact we don't make a lot of fuss over kids' birthdays either so it's not a massive difference anyway.

Our oldest is an adult and lives between uni and home. We go out for a meal or have takeaway for his birthday, depending on what he fancies. We ask him if there is anything in particular he wants as gifts, this year it’s a couple of albums on vinyl. We also get him things like aftershave and clothes and then give him £500 cash, sometimes we’ll go and see something at the cinema or theatre around his birthday. We still have cake and decorations.

At Christmas, we do the same as we’ve always done, dinner at home, a few gifts and cash, again £500. Our friends and the kids friends often come round on the evening and have food and drinks.