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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on strike with regards to cooking

35 replies

devilsavacado · 04/06/2008 18:17

Every night without fail some one has a moan about what I serve up for dinner.

If it is'nt the DC's it's DH.

The children like pesto and pasta with pancetta and DH hates pancetta.
So made it with back bacon the other night and DH says
"Is this smokey bacon,it has tainted everything else and tastes like a barbeque"

Only had enough penne for the children so served ours with lingunie
DH "Would rather have had penne than noodles"

Made a mousakka and DH says

"did you salt the aubergines"

I say no

DH "that will be why they are all soggy then"

Last night I did sausages ,chips,beans and egg.

DH "smells likes roys cafe in here,have you put the extractor fan on"

Then DS moansd because his egg is runny

DH -"I would rather had had a runny egg than a hard yolk"

So it goes on and on

Would like to sit down to one meal without all the moaning.

Tell me I am not the only one that finds this maddening.

OP posts:
milknosugar · 04/06/2008 18:19

i went on strike for 2 years because of dh moaning. cooked for kids before he got back from work, if he wanted cooked tea he made it (for me aswell!). only recently started cooking again, no complaints so far

bellavita · 04/06/2008 18:19

A strike sounds like a good idea

EstherGreenwood · 04/06/2008 18:21

Set the table
Profer takeaway menus and a telephone
Retire to the chaise longe

Original poster
devilsavacado · 04/06/2008 18:26

I have tried that milknosugar and he will come in late after a visit en route to the pub to go straight to the oven and wonder where his dinner his.

He even bought me a microwave for christams but I suspect it was more for him so he could re heat his dinner and then he can have an extra pint on the way home.

He always complains about takeaways costing too much,funny that when the price of a pint does'nt come into the conversation.

OP posts:
laura032004 · 04/06/2008 18:34

I am used to (although still annoyed by) the DS's complaining about their meals. Would be v.annoyed if DH did the same though.

TheProvincialLady · 04/06/2008 18:44

He bought you a microwave for Christmas?

Next time he is rude about the food you have cooked, take it away from him and chuck it in the bin. Repeat as necessary.

milknosugar · 04/06/2008 18:46

let him wonder then. what will he do if you tell him there isnt any because he has been behaving like a spoilt brat?

nametaken · 04/06/2008 18:51

I can just about tolerate the kids moaning about food but a husband . Stop cooking for him then.

And if he wonders where his dinner is, tell him you didn't cook any for him because he complains too much about it when you do!!!!

Honestly, take advice from all of us who've been there, bought the T-shirt. Quickest thing to work definately a dinner strike.

I did try the chuck it in the bin solution but that problem with that was dh would grab my arm and try to stop me and I either had to stop or carry on and make a terrible mess.

vickyB22 · 04/06/2008 18:51

i went on strike, but only after i had served my (now ex) husband a cat food casserole.

Hassled · 04/06/2008 18:54

I think going on strike is the only thing you can do. He's being a complete tosser and undermining you in front of the children - of course they moan if their father is effectively telling them that it's OK to do that. I wouldn't put up with it for a moment.

Original poster
devilsavacado · 04/06/2008 18:54

A lovely shiney silver one ,got all excited when I saw the big box under the tree.

With DH complaining I know wonder where the DC's get it from

I have tried not leaving him anything and he will sulk around the kitchen looking for something to eat and complaining he has to get it himself.

OP posts:
nametaken · 04/06/2008 18:57

LOL devilsavacado, he'll have a tantrum to be sure - just treat him like one of your kids when they have a tantrum because you won't give them something they want .

Do it when your feeling strong and determined to win this little war.

nametaken · 04/06/2008 18:58

And this xmas, buy him a cookery book.

TheProvincialLady · 04/06/2008 19:01

No, buy him a lawnmower mending kit.

milknosugar · 04/06/2008 19:04

he is behaving like this because you let him, you know that dont you? if he is moaning in the kitchen go elsewhere so you dont have to listen, if he follows you tell him he shouldnt be so bloody rude and if he wants dinner the next day he can apologise and never be rude again. it has just struck me that he goes to the pub and isnt there at dinner time anyway - very very rude imo and enough to warrant a strike on its own

Original poster
devilsavacado · 04/06/2008 19:05

nametaken-funnily enough he always buys me cookery books.
The lateset one was Gordon Ramsays sunday lunches,have'nt cooked anything from it yet though.

Love the idea of the cat food casserole,could tell him I have made a fish pie.

If I chucked it in the bin he would then complain about wasting food.

OP posts:
Original poster
devilsavacado · 04/06/2008 19:08

Lawnmower mending kit,he would love that,not.

He would complain I had put no thought into his present.

milknosugar-Me and the DC's have eaten on our own tonight as no sign of DH yet and we are fed up of waiting for him most nights.

His is in the oven drying up

OP posts:
constancereader · 04/06/2008 19:25

I would show some of your righteous anger, honestly he is being SO rude. Don't worry about his moaning or complaints. Just remember he is being a complete arse and stick to your guns. No food until his manners improve.

JoshandJamie · 04/06/2008 19:32

My DH wouldn't dare complain about the food he gets. I'd seriously tell your H what I tell my children: You get what you get and you don't get upset.

2point4kids · 04/06/2008 19:33

Give him one last chance.. put a note beside tonights dinner saying 'if you make one derogatory remark about this meal you will not get a meal tomorrow night' and then follow through (not follow through in the rude sense follow through your threat)
then from now on always do the same thing, skip a meal every night after he complains. he'll soon learn to be a bit more appreciative!

bran · 04/06/2008 19:53

Have you noticed that you say "If I did x he would complain", you say (post) it a lot. It's self-defeating, you won't act to do something about his attitude because he would complain about it.

Why is it so important that you make sure he has nothing to complain about? What happens when he complains? Does the earth split open, does lighting strike, is there a plague of frogs? Where did you get the idea that you are responsible for solving all his petty irritations?

You could try taking a slightly passive approach if you prefer. When he complains, say "I can see I haven't made it to your taste, tomorrow I'll leave the ingredients for you and you can cook it how you like it." Then follow through, he's going to complain anyway by the sounds of things so just learn to tune out the complaints.

He may not even be aware how much he complains. Some people are just the moaning type, but even the whingiest person can learn to bottle it up if there are consequences of complaining.

TheArmadillo · 04/06/2008 20:01

stop cooking for him and tell him why.

If he complains repeat it again.

you do not have to put up with constant criticism.

He is not a child and will not starve.

Original poster
devilsavacado · 04/06/2008 21:10

I try not to make him complain as like an easy life and he is a right victor meldrew at the moment.

He has just come in from the pub and not even mentioned dinner ,just opened a can of beer.
He said he was a bit concerned I had'nt got his shoes out ready to take to the menders tomorrow.

In fact as I type this I can hear him in the kitchen trying to work out how to use the microwave .
Bleep bleep bleep,give me strength.

Am waiting for him to call me and ask.

OP posts:
Original poster
devilsavacado · 04/06/2008 21:13

Could'nt stand it any longer,went in and did it for him.

Just wondering if he needs me to feed him as well.

OP posts:
JoshandJamie · 04/06/2008 22:08

Sorry - but he really sounds like he needs a slap - and you need to stop doing everything for him. So while he's out getting a pint every night, you're at home? And then when he gets in you need to have his dinner ready and the house perfect? It sounds like a time warp to the 50s.

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